SiMpLe JoYs Of LiFe - A Narrative, by Shilpi Das Chohan.......Please read, comment and share the delight with others if you resonate with it

Shall we say CHEERS to HUMOUR, SMILE and LAUGHTER??

‘The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths, it has its pearls too.’ – Vincent van Gogh

This was the quote I posted to my friends one morning and one of them named Jerry responded saying, ‘Mine has diamonds!’ Aha! Quite amusing and I texted him back, ‘I assume then that your heart is like a coal mine and one cannot dive in there, so you ought to dig hard, dig deeper to find the diamonds’. I received a couple of smileys from him, I smiled and I imagined him smiling to himself.

SMILE and LAUGHTER are simply joyful, normal expressions only humans have evolved to possess. While SMILE is personal and private, LAUGHTER is public or social phenomenon. Imagine smiling by yourself while browsing through old photo albums and then the boisterous laughter by a group of people watching a comedy show and you will know the difference. Nevertheless, both arise from HUMOUR!

My eleven years young daughter announced few days ago, “Ma, I have been selected by my class teacher as the monitor of my class. My classmates admire me because they find me funny as I keep cracking jokes and making them laugh.”

Images from my memory of my days at school started reeling into my mind. That fun and frolic, carefree attitude, teasing and giggling, laughing boisterously is sheer nostalgia. Then we grow up to be so logical and practical that we shoo away the child in us. That child doesn’t want to abandon us, but we ignore the pleas. We scream at this child, shut her up; we get toughened to face the practical world, the world of grownups, intellectuals and professionals. So, we become cautious of smiling and learn to carry ourselves with an expressionless face. Don't we have to appear busy and purposeful? We have no time to acknowledge people we bump into or pass by. Smiling to strangers is a complete ‘No-No’! It's dreadful!

Laughter is mostly reserved for informal or casual gatherings. Do we want to be judged as silly or more so intellectually challenged? No ways! Hence, we turn absolute misers when it comes to smiling in a work environment. We get adept at faking a smile for the fear of being judged.

When I address a gathering formal or informal, my very first instinct is to smile at my audience. I have always instinctively felt that SMILING is the best way to connect with a sea of strangers. In the year 2003, while in Mumbai, I was facilitating a 3 days’ workshop for the managers of a multinational bank, a rather embarrassing incident took place on the very first day right after the initial few minutes of introduction. I was an external facilitator and a stranger to them. Dressed in a saree as usual (my all time favourite and preferred attire),while moving around in the class one of the heels of my high-heel sandals gave away. For a moment, I felt absolutely embarrassed and didn’t know why did that have to happen to me that very day. I started hearing whispers in the room. Soon I regained my composure, took off my sandals, waved them in the air and announced animatedly, “I have been a fool to have spent Rs.2000 on this pair of so called premium quality footwear from an upmarket store in Colaba. I must sue them. But right now, I am going make use of my soon to be married-engaged status and call my fiancé requesting him to visit my abode and get me another pair of sandals to bail me out of this plight!” The group of 15 managers burst out laughing, breaking barriers of unfamiliarity and charging up the atmosphere. I was pleasantly surprised and touched by the thoughtfulness of the women present there offering me to lend me their footwear till my spare pair of sandals got delivered. It was a beautiful day after all. 

One morning while driving out of the apartment complex we lived, my daughter noticed me smiling and nodding to the security guard who opened the gates for us and she asked, ‘Ma, why do you smile at him? And he too smiles back at you always! Do you know him?’ What a valid question! I ought to be acquainted to someone to smile, otherwise it’s just fine to buzz past robotically. My belief is that questions from a young, impressionable and curious mind that is noticing and imbibing behaviour patterns ought to be satisfied with apt answers. So, I asked her if she could stand manning that gate the whole day and perform the ordinary task of just opening and closing the gate repeatedly. I further said, “Sweetheart! Place yourself in his shoes, visualize, try to feel the monotony of this mundane job and the robot-like people zipping away without even acknowledging your existence?” She smiled back at me in understanding and acknowledgement. One smiling glance at them would brighten them up, send them a flash of positive energy, make them feel worthy and human. 

No wait! We are busy people and we don’t smile. We are misers and preserve our smiles for better people and better reasons! Why must we waste our time and efforts in these simple gestures for we are meant to do bigger and important tasks? So, sport an icy look, appear important, purposeful. We aren’t humans any more, we have evolved to being efficient robots.

Kris Iyer a friend, never tires of composing poems on SMILES. I receive one poem every morning from him making me marvel at his uniqueness in composing different poems on the same theme, that too daily. I can only conclude he significantly values the ability to SMILE and finds the ability to make others SMILE priceless. 

Now, I wonder why my daughter’s classmates connect with her capacity to make them laugh. What’s so noteworthy about this skill of adding humour in the lives of other people, charging up a dull atmosphere with cheers and laughter? My children can repeatedly listen to this hilarious clip by the acclaimed voice artist Mr. Anil Mani and break into peals of incessant and uncontrollable laughter infecting the whole atmosphere. There would be a sudden request from them, ‘Ma, please…oh please play that clip from your phone’. The giggles followed by the booming laughter resonates within us for long. Why does those prank call audio clips from RJ Naved or RJ Danish Sait tickle us so much? The exhilaration and excitement caused by laughter is unmatched. Everyone desires a good laugh. Surprisingly, I have also come across people who excel at this uncanny skill of maintaining a poker face amidst such laughter. I marvel at this unusual skill, and wonder how they manage to do so. Do you think they need help?

The voice coaching sessions of Voice Bazaar conducted by Mr. Anil Mani are a madhouse, not full of lunatics, but smiles and rip-roaring laughter. Someone unaware of the nuances would assume it to be a loony bin or a place for comedy sessions rather and feel confused if they have landed at the right place and the right mentor. Ha ha ha! Nevertheless, the atmosphere is created by the coach intentionally to evoke excitement and a cheerful aura around where the mentees gradually drop their guard, get rid of their inhibitions and become comfortable to use their voice to the best of their ability. He says that unlearning and active learning takes place when the learner or student is in a stress-free and fun zone. I cannot disagree. 

"A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done" - Dwight D. Eisenhower

Now what about humour in formal atmosphere? I was hosting the Coffee Stamp Release function by GPO, Bengaluru and The Coffee Board on 23rd April that was being graced by our honourable ministers Smt. Nirmala Sitharaman and Sri Manoj Sinha. I must say I was mighty impressed by the subtle and classy humour evident in Sri Manoj Sinha’s short speech. His ability to use humour simply breathed life into that bureaucratic atmosphere. The energy emanating from his humorous aura charged up the dry Sunday afternoon’s rushed event. The audience laughed heartily and like me might have secretly thanked him for that breath of fresh air. It is certainly a skill to possess a sense of humour that charges up the atmosphere irrespective of wherever we are, albeit being mindful of maintaining the decorum and being sensitive towards others’ sentiments in all situations.

"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs." - Christopher Morley

I am an avid viewer of TEDX Talks. You must listen to this TEDX speaker, Anthony McCarten, an award-winning film maker and novelist being all vocal about the importance of humour and laughter, especially in today’s world. I have watched this video umpteen times and shared with many friends as well as acquaintances. There’s unmatched depth and meaning in this human ability to laugh. It’s a priceless gift to us humans, from the creator of this universe where our existence is only as big as specks. Unfortunately, these specks of human are busy doing important stuff, more important than connecting the dots or spreading cheers or building camaraderie.

Nevertheless, some people might point out ‘What’s in a smile or laughter, for a smile could be sarcastic and a laughter devilish?’. But hey, we aren’t talking about MOCKERY that is dark, but SMILE that is attractive and LAUGHTER that is contagious. 

All said and done, it boils down to having a SENSE of HUMOUR, to be able to see the funny side in absurd situations, keeping the funny bone intact and the child in us alive. HUMOUR connects us with strangers, binds us with family and friends, brings up happy children. It has the astounding healing quality to help one breeze through the toughest of situations, have one stay in high spirits, spread cheers and optimism. 

"Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It's the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one's fellow human beings." - Maya Angelou