A simple exercise to knowing your 5 actual Core Values.

Choosing A New Set of Rules to Live By (Article)

Each day, we face decisions that test our patience, our integrity, character and even our peace of mind. Roy Disney once suggested that; "It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your core values are." Those words are both accurate and exceptionally wise.

Look at the following question - What is most important to you? Take a moment to ask yourself out loud and answer with full responsibility. The first word that comes to your mind is one of your CORE VALUE. A primal drive you live by and need.

For me, my values help guide me and shape my priorities and reactions in life. They serve as markers to ensure that my life is heading in the right direction and help me to realise if it takes a wrong turn quickly.

When my actions (and words) come into alignment with my core values, life is good, and I feel content, confident and satisfied. But when my behaviours don’t match up with my values, I soon begin to experience a sense of uneasiness and discomfort in my soul (mind and emotions). I hope you follow that!

Making a deliberate and conscious attempt to identify which of my core values are of the highest importance to me, is crucial if I am to keep my anxiety levels low and my sense of self-awareness high.

Regardless of whether I acknowledge my values or not, they are there, and they do influence every decision and action I take in life. Our lives become far more productive, and far more stress-free when we acknowledge our core values and live by them - regardless of the circumstances and life situations we encounter.

The following is the list of values that deeply resonate with me. They are the 'rules' that I live by and are also the ones that I fully intend on passing onto my children (alongside everyone in my life who wants to know me). You can also work with the list above and fine-tune the list to a FIRST BROADER and then a FINER one. The end goal is to know our 5 core values.

Authenticity:

I will choose to be myself in all circumstances and every situation, as it's this very choice that gives other people the best possible chance of knowing who I am. Authenticity offers the foundation upon which absolute confidence and self-esteem are built.

Belief in Others:

Most people aren't secure in who they are, which in turn, impacts their day-to-day living in such a destructive way through low self-confidence and self-esteem. I choose to believe in others, even when these others don't believe in themselves. This is non-negotiable.

Caring:

Caring for other people is free, and how might anyone know how to care for another individual until they have first cared for themselves. The old 'golden rule' tells us; 'Be for other people the kind of person whom we'd have for ourselves.'

Commitment:

Commitment shows loyalty and bravery. A commitment is a promise made and expectation we have created in another onto ourselves. Honouring our commitments can make the difference between someone trusting and admiring us.

Cooperation:

Even the most complex tasks and assignments can be made simpler when we focus on sourcing the most appropriate solutions as part of a team. There is no 'I' in the team!

Dedication:

No matter how the circumstances may change, stay the course and never give up. I would rather be called a failure than a quitter. Cowards give up when the going gets tough. Being bold enough to tackle complex problems is always admirable and respect-worthy.

Devotion:

Some days are naturally better than others in regards to our interpersonal relationships and our faith. Things can get unstable at times, but staying devoted to a cause or a person through the uncertain times is our rock to grasp when our faith and our foundation is shaky. Remember, the opposite of faith is fear - and fear is utterly meaningless!

Effort:

Regardless of any outcome, there is always admiration to be found in effort when the effort is authentic, focused and well-intended. While many people are attracted to get rich quick schemes and all things that glitter and come at no cost, all things ascertained through effort spent are always appreciated more.

Freedom:

We have each been given some days that we were not in control of receiving. Where most men and women spend anything up to a lifetime working for money, wise people spend their assets in pursuit of more time.

Forgiveness:

To be clear, the purpose of forgiveness is not to forget an offence that's been made towards you; but rather, to free yourself from the anger or hurt that keeps people back from moving forward into their future for anything up to a lifetime.

Friendship:

Friends support us, and they provide an unfiltered view of our actions when asked. Real friends aren't those who agree with our every move or word but are those who will be honest with us regardless of any consequential outcome.

Gratitude:

An old proverb once stated that; "He who has will forever be in abundance, and he who has not will forever live his life in lack." It's easy to focus on the things we don't have in life instead of the things that we do. Gratitude is possibly one of the most attractive characteristics that a person can possess in life.

Honesty:

To live authentically; to live honestly, keeps both our hearts and our minds free from doubt, fear and uncertainty. When we are fully committed to a life of honesty, the judgements and assumptions that other people make of us will forever be irrelevant.

Hope:

Hope is the fuel that keeps us moving forward when we are beyond exhausted. Hope reassures us that sometimes, ascertaining our goals is not a matter of 'if', but only when.

Integrity:

What defines our character and our integrity is not measured by what happens to us; but rather by how we react and respond to what happens to us. Integrity is one of the most challenging yet rewarding choices that a person can make in life.

Connection:

At every moment in our every relationship, we are choosing either connection or disconnection. Most people want connection, but unconsciously select detachment through a lifetime of bad habit. Connection demands honesty; honesty requires integrity.

Patience:

Patience is a value which can also improve productivity because it creates a better state of mind, a more precise state of mind, for better and more informed decision making.

Respect:

We are all different, yet we want to be unconditionally accepted and respected for how we think and believe. When we treat people with the same respect we would like to be dealt with; we validate the other person’s dignity alongside enhancing our own.

Sacrifice:

Sometimes it’s appropriate and honourable to place another person's needs before your own. This is the meaning of sacrifice. Along with sacrifice comes some discomfort; perhaps even some pain. This is what makes sacrifice a value to live by.

Tolerance:

There are people who make us angry, and we just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye with on an issue. Rather than showing contempt, tolerance is a better alternative. It shows respects, patience and courtesy.

Unity:

There is indeed strength in numbers. Working together to solve a common problem ensures a higher chance of success. Making an effort to bring people together will always be more useful than finding ways to pull people apart.

Vision:

Vision is created by our dreams and daydreams, alike, Vision provides the avenue to take our lives to wherever we want them to go. Our vision reminds us that we are always capable of learning and growing into whom we want to be.

It's important to note that our values and our priorities are different across different contexts and also that they will change over time and with maturity.

The above list is not exhaustive (by the way), but it will give you an idea of some universal core values (also referred to as personal values). My recommendation is to select less than five core values to focus in on (because if everything is a CORE value, then nothing may end up being a priority for you.)

Article content credits: Kain Ramsay lectures, Skilled Helper by Gerard Egan, and my independent research and viewpoint. Photo credits: Google