Simple Advice for the New Leader: 3 People You Need to Meet With Regularly

I love the picture above. It's a visual reminder that what seems complicated to us might be something a friend or colleague would have no trouble with. Or maybe you're the one on the right - a natural solution is easily visible to you, and you wonder why it doesn't seem that easy to everyone.

Early in my leadership journey as I listened to and read books by successful leaders I began to discover a couple of trends. Every successful leader develops good routines, and follows them religiously until they become habit. There are hundreds of examples based on the profile of the leader, their industry, and their strengths. And if you've read anything I've written it's no surprise the habit I've latched onto the most came from leaders like Andy Stanley, John Maxwell, Jack Welch, and Pat Lencioni. I'd have any one of them on my team, wouldn't you? They've all mentioned the value of intentional relationships. Here's how you can put this into practice in your journey:

1. A Decade Ahead: On a consistent basis, meet with a leader you respect who is about 10 years ahead of you in life and business. There's something about them you want to emulate or you wouldn't follow them. Let them listen to situations you're dealing with at home, in the office, or just life in general. Expect them to ask you questions about what's important to you in life, and what goals you have, then welcome their input and suggestions. Don't leave any conversation without a takeaway you can go implement. Growth as a leader only comes through the trials and errors of pushing your comfort zones. A leader helping you navigate the journey will see opportunities in your story you won't even be close to recognizing yet. Ask them to be honest in their feedback and have the maturity to take it. Sometimes you won't like what they're saying, but trust the wisdom of the years they have and you don't. If they are really a good leader, they'll give you guidance that directs you toward your goals, while at the same time stretching your goals.
2. Same Season of Life: Find a friend or colleague you trust with your story, who is around your same age. Hopefully they're not wired exactly like you, but this can still work even if they are. In the same season of life, it's likely you will both be experiencing some of the same things professionally and personally. You can both help each other by listening and discussing different perspectives on the same issues or opportunities. Some days it will be more about you, and some days about them. Trust helps you keep it confidential, and also builds a relationship where you can hold each other accountable to goals or actions that may be needed to resolve issues.
3. A Decade Behind: Look for someone about 10 years behind you in life, someone who has qualities you admire, that will lead to success as they grow in life and leadership. Invest time in them to help them see their potential and the path to reach it. Listen to what they want to achieve in life and use your experiences and strengths to help them avoid the pitfalls that will slow them down. As Andy Stanley says, you can't fill their cup alone, but you can always empty yours. You may not be the only person mentoring them and you'll never be able to give them all the advice they need, but when you're with them, give them all you have.

I've done each of these for so long, they are non-negotiable in my schedule. I look forward to every conversation over breakfast, lunch or a beverage with these guys. Selfishly, I always feel like I get more out of it than they do. But they tell me the same thing. That should tell you there's tremendous value in putting intentional effort into this idea - for your life, leadership journey, and your soul.