?? Silly Valley News: November 19th 2024 ??

All I want for Christmas is... quota. If you're in sales, I'm sure you've been reminded 5,347 times that there are fewer selling days in November and December. Well if you want to get those deals in early, I have exactly what you need.

Ugly Holiday Sweaters!

These are not only guaranteed to increase quota attainment by 400%, they also guarantee that you're gonna be the best looking rep in the sales pit. Or I guess you could buy them for someone else who really needs a boost to the old win rate.

Anywho, here are the hottest news stories this week??

This Week's Pipin' ???? (Hot 'Tent)

?? Paul vs. Tyson Becomes Top 5 Boxing Match Ever… in Revenue, not Quality

?? Spirit Airlines Files for Bankruptcy

?? The Zuck Teams Up With T-Pain for Get Low Remix

?? After 18 Years, Spotify is Finally Profitable

?? And more brain busters for you savages to sound smart at the water cooler...

The Silly Valley

?? The Zuck Teams Up With T-Pain for Get Low Remix. Mark Zuckerberg recently celebrated his anniversary with Priscilla Chan by asking T-Pain to collaborate on an acoustic cover of the 2003 classic “Get Low.” Zuck claims the song played at a college party where he first met his wife and they play it every year on their anniversary. The slowed-down, guitar-backed cover song makes you cringe and feel bad for T-Pain, but Mr. Pain says “I’ve learned how to not worry about what y’all are talking about.” Fair point! For those who are a bit confused, the original ‘Get Low’ was indeed by Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz. I would hope Zuck doesn't think all rappers look alike…

?? After 18 Years, Spotify is Finally Profitable. CEO Daniel Ek expressed optimism last Tuesday, stating that profitability is now the "new reality" for Spotify. The company has long invested heavily in growth areas like podcasts, which initially frustrated investors. They spent $1B on podcasts from 2019-2022. Ek emphasized a more disciplined approach to spending going forward, while CFO Christian Luiga echoed positive cash flow expectations. Record-setting financial results in the third quarter demonstrate Spotify’s successful cost-cutting measures, including 2,300 layoffs last year, and increased paid memberships. Monthly active users grew 11% year-over-year to 640 million, while paid subscribers increased 12% to 252 million. Gross profit exceeded $1.1B for the second consecutive quarter, while operating income hit a record $499.4M. Spotify is eyeing AI and video as core areas for future investments while maintaining their current investment in the Demoted Podcast at $.0032 per quarter.??

?? GrubHub Sells For $650M After Previously Being Valued At $7.3B. Wonder Group announced plans to acquire Grubhub from Just Eat Takeaway for $650 million this week. A steep drop from Grubhub's $7.3 billion valuation in 2020. This underscores ongoing struggles in the food delivery industry post-pandemic. Plus the fact that none of those companies ever made money in the first place. The acquisition deal includes $150 million in cash, with Wonder assuming $500 million in Grubhub’s debt. This purchase aligns with Wonder’s ambitious growth plans led by founder Marc Lore, a former Walmart and Amazon executive and future Minnesota Timberwolves owner. Lore envisions taking Wonder public by 2027 with a target valuation of $30 billion. Wonder also raised an additional $250 million from new investors, while Just Eat, pressured by activist investor Lucerne Capital Management over profitability concerns, has finally found a buyer after a long search.

Sales Tip of the Week

Negotiating prices over email can decrease win rates by 67%. It's more effective to handle negotiations through live conversations. - Gong

Outside the Bubble

?? Spirit Airlines Files for Bankruptcy. Spirit was planning to merge with the other s***ty airline, Frontier, but those talks fell apart. Now, the Florida-based budget airline is in desperate need of creditor support as it contends with mounting losses and upcoming debt maturities. The airline’s shares fell by over 60% following these developments and it postponed its SEC filing. Rising costs, falling revenue, and competitive challenges have eroded Spirit’s once-successful low-cost business model. One reason is the FCC’s recent rules that put an end to change and cancellation fees, which led to $61 million reduction in revenue. Who knew being famous for canceled flights was a bad business decision for an airline?

?? Paul vs. Tyson Becomes Top 5 Boxing Match Ever… in Revenue, not Quality. While most of the 65 million households who watched the fight were pretty disappointed in the Tyson vs. Paul matchup, the 50 million households who watched the Katie Taylor vs. Amanda Serrano undercard witnessed an epic showdown. It also became the most-watched women’s professional sporting event in U.S. history. The overall event streamed in 6,000+ U.S. bars and restaurants, setting a commercial distribution record for boxing. The $18 million in ticket sales is the most gate revenue ever in a fight held outside of Vegas. It’s also the 5th most gate revenue of any boxing match in history behind Canelo Alvarez vs. Floyd Mayweather in 2013 ($20M) and ahead of the fight when Tyson bit off Holyfield’s ear in 1997 ($14M). Time will tell if Paul can continue his insane streak of astronomical ratings despite mid performances against subpar opponents. My bet? He’ll do it again. And again. And again. Why? Because despite all the whining from viewers, they still watched. And they’ll watch again because Paul is a master marketer and the numbers don’t lie.??

?? McDonald’s Invests $100M To Recover From E. Coli Outbreak. A severe E. Coli outbreak linked to slivered onions on its Quarter Pounder burgers killed one person and sickened over 100 in 14 states. Micky D’s had to remove Quarter Pounders from 20% of its U.S. locations and caused sales to drop nearly 12% in late October. While sales are starting to recover, they remain below last year’s levels, and McDonald’s shares have fallen about 7%, erasing nearly all of their 2024 gains. In an effort to rebuild customer confidence and stabilize operations, the company is investing $35 million in marketing and $65 million for franchisee support programs, including rent and royalty deferrals. I know this makes no sense, but now I really want to eat McDonald’s.

Last Week's Pipin' ???? (Hot 'Tent)

Actually this week's, but c'mon it's SF Giants legend Hunter Pence!

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