The Silent Struggles of Leaders and How to Overcome Them: Tips They Don’t Teach You in Management School

Leadership is often portrayed as the pinnacle of professional success—a role imbued with power, influence, and the ability to shape the future. But what many do not see is the complex, unglamorous side of leadership. Behind the titles and accomplishments are untold struggles, often borne silently.

I would like to use the story of Yinka, a young CEO to bring this to life.

I had the privilege of engaging with Yinka to look into the hidden challenges she faces as a leader. Her journey revealed the unspoken emotional and mental battles that many in leadership endure. To gain deeper insight, I reached out to experienced CEOs, gathering practical, real-life solutions on how to overcome these silent struggles. Their wisdom and strategies provide a roadmap for turning these challenges into opportunities for growth and resilience.

Yinka’s Story: Leading in Silence

Yinka was a trailblazer. Charismatic and determined, she climbed the corporate ladder faster than her peers, earning the role of Managing Director/ CEO by the age of 41. From the outside, her life looked perfect—a senior leadership position, professional accolades, and a reputation as someone who could handle anything.

But inside, Yinka was quietly struggling.

Every decision she made felt monumental. The pressure of safeguarding her team’s jobs, ensuring the company’s success, and meeting stakeholder expectations kept her awake at night. What made it harder was that she felt she could not talk about her doubts. Sharing her vulnerabilities seemed risky, like exposing a chink in the armour that her team and peers expected her to wear.

Yinka’s story is not unique. Many leaders in high-stakes roles, face similar challenges. Let us dig into these silent struggles and discuss how to overcome them.

1. The Heavy Weight of Responsibility

Leadership comes with a weight that few people talk about. For Yinka, every choice she made—whether to back a risky project, hire a key role, or restructure a department—had ripple effects. The constant need to weigh risks, predict outcomes, and stand by her decisions took a mental toll.

How to Overcome It:

• Delegate Effectively: Sharing responsibility is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of trust. Yinka realised that trying to do everything herself was not sustainable. By delegating tasks and giving her team more autonomy, she not only lightened her load but also empowered her colleagues to shine.
• Focus on Controllables: Yinka learned that she could not control every outcome, but she could control how prepared she was. By focusing on gathering the best information and making thoughtful decisions, she began to let go of the need for perfection.

2. The Isolation of Leadership

As Yinka climbed the corporate ladder, her relationships at work began to shift. People she once laughed with in the office now hesitated to speak candidly around her. The higher she rose, the fewer people she felt she could truly connect with.

How to Overcome It:

• Build a Peer Network: Leadership can be lonely, but it does not have to be. Yinka joined a leadership forum where she connected with other women navigating similar challenges. These conversations became a source of insight and solidarity.
• Foster Transparency: Being a leader does not mean being invincible. Yinka started admitting when she did not have all the answers. Far from diminishing her authority, this honesty strengthened her relationships and showed her team that vulnerability can coexist with strength.

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3. The Emotional Toll of Tough Decisions

One of Yinka’s hardest moments was having to let go of a long-time employee during a cost-cutting exercise. She knew it was the right decision for the organisation’s survival, but it felt deeply personal. The emotional weight of that decision stayed with her long after the meeting was over.

How to Overcome It:

• Anchor in Values: Yinka reflected on her core principles and the company’s mission. This helped her see that her decision, while painful, aligned with the greater good. Having clarity on her values eased some of the guilt.
• Seek Support: Yinka found comfort in talking through tough choices with a mentor. The mentor’s perspective helped her see that making difficult decisions is part of being a leader, not a sign of failure.

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4. The Pressure to Have All the Answers

Yinka often felt the pressure to know everything and solve every problem. When her team looked to her for answers, she sometimes felt like an imposter, unsure if she was really up to the task.

How to Overcome It:

• Embrace Lifelong Learning: Leadership is not about knowing everything; it is about staying curious. Yinka began reframing her doubts as opportunities to learn. She took courses, read widely, and sought feedback, which boosted her confidence.
• Empower Your Team: Yinka started leaning on her team for their expertise. Encouraging collaboration not only lightened her mental load but also allowed her team to feel valued and trusted.

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5. The Battle with Burnout

The demands of leadership eventually began to wear Yinka down. Late nights, early mornings, and the unrelenting pressure left her physically and emotionally drained. Burnout crept in slowly but steadily.

How to Overcome It:

• Prioritise Self-Care: Yinka started treating her well-being as a non-negotiable part of her leadership strategy. She scheduled time for exercise, hobbies, and simply switching off. This change recharged her energy and focus.
• Set Boundaries: Yinka learned to say no to tasks that drained her or did not align with her priorities. Setting boundaries with her time helped her create a healthier work-life balance.
• Seek Professional Help: When burnout persisted, Yinka sought out a coach who provided tailored strategies for managing stress. This was a turning point in her leadership journey.

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Turning Struggles Into Strengths

Yinka’s story is a reminder that leadership is not about being perfect—it is about resilience. The challenges that leaders face are not weaknesses. They are opportunities to grow, to learn, and to become more compassionate.

The silent struggles of leadership may never fully disappear, but by addressing them with intention, leaders can transform these challenges into strengths. After all, it is how you handle the unseen battles that defines you as a leader.

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Conclusion

Leadership is not easy, but it is worth it. The silent struggles you face today are shaping you into a stronger, more empathetic leader. The question is: How will you turn your challenges into opportunities for growth?

#LeadershipChallenges #Burnout #LeadershipJourney #Leadership #Resilience #GrowthMindset

FAQs

1. Is it normal to feel isolated as a leader?

Yes, but you can combat isolation by building a network of peers who understand your challenges and by fostering open communication with your team.

2. How can I delegate effectively?

Understand your team’s strengths and assign tasks that align with their abilities. Delegation is about trust and providing clear guidance.

3. What should I do if I feel burnt out?

Prioritise self-care, set boundaries, and do not hesitate to seek professional help. Burnout is common, but it is manageable.

About the writer.

'Bunmi is an experienced Digital Strategy Leader, a LinkedIn Top Voice and an Agile Practitioner.

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