Silent Introductions

There is a saying "the way you behave dictates the way people approach you". This is a fairly normal social construct that we learn as children.... if you don't stand out you are ignored, everyone wants to hang with the cool kids and the weird kids get ostracized.

As we mature into our teen years, things get complicated where it is not only how we show up, but what we silently project that gets added to our social standing and approach-ability.

As adults we have less stress in this regards as most of us feel we can both choose whom we approach and also build our persona's approach-ability according to our own individuality and life goals.

It is fairly simple at the core of the concept... if you want to be respected by strangers, project respectability (confidence, respect for others etc...). If you crave attention and the limelight, stand out in some way so your persona is loud. If you would rather not be approached at all (you prefer to make the first move), be an introvert and rather non-descript in your behavior so you are easily overlooked.

When we look at this concept of approach-ability from another angle, we could hypothesize that we are introducing ourselves to EVERYONE we come across without actually formally introducing ourselves.

How we act, what we do, our posture, what words we use, our habits, the small decisions we make in our daily lives, even the way we fidget when sitting still all paint an approach-ability picture.

In the reverse shoes we inspect these same traits before we approach others. What we find cool, strong, weird, soft (fill in the adjective) about others dictates our opening move when interacting.

So what does your behavior say about you? Who are you introducing yourself as without actually saying hello? Is how you act a representation of how you want to be seen?

It is difficult to be objective about this as so much of our behavior is habit driven. Ask your closest friends to paint a picture of you from their perspective and you may be surprised how your actions and behaviors line up with your perceptions of yourself.