Silent epidemic effecting our Australian Families

Subject:?Silent epidemic effecting our Australian Families

Editorial: NEWS.COM.AU

DIPAC is a #FAMILY1st Practice?

This may not be for you, but there maybe someone you know who needs some courage, please take care of one another.?It is NOT OK for children to live with a Domestic Abuser

NB: Whilst the majority of perpetrators of "Domestic Abuse" are males. Women also can be perpetrators, usually "Emotional Abuse"

Please read on...

Susan's Story

SUSAN has no doubt in her mind that if she didn’t leave her abusive ex-husband when she did, she wouldn’t be here today.

The 55-year-old mother of two, whose surname has been withheld, was married for 37 years before finally fleeing from her controlling partner in 2016.

She said while the marriage was toxic, she had stayed for many years as she believed it was in her children’s best interests.

She also simply couldn’t afford to leave.

When she did finally break away, she left with just a suitcase of clothes and no money of her own, as she had a joint account with her husband and had only ever worked for the family business.

“When I left I didn’t know what I was going to do or where I was going to go,” she said.

“I left with only a suitcase of clothes and no money or anything. I was homeless for nine weeks before I found community housing.

“When I left I didn’t even think about it — I just had to get out, it was so bad. I didn’t know what I was going to do financially, I just left because it was either that or I wouldn’t be here today.”

She said it had been a shock to go from being “financially secure to homeless”, and is now training to become a social worker to help other women in a similar situation.

Sadly, Susan’s story is one echoed in countless households across the country, with many women in toxic relationships facing an agonising dilemma — stay and face more abuse, or leave and face poverty and homelessness.

The financial statistics are bleak.

The Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia has found the average superannuation balance for women in 2016 was $68,000 compared to $112,000 for men, while the Workplace Gender Equality Agency estimates Australian women earn, on average, 15.3 per cent less than men.

The conversation has also reported that only one-third of real estate investors are female.

When you consider women are far more likely to leave the workforce altogether or work part-time or casually as a result of child rearing, it is obvious that women are at a clear financial disadvantage — a problem which is compounded when financial abuse enters the equation.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics’ latest?Personal Safety Survey?found that 38 per cent of women who had experienced emotional abuse from a partner also experienced financial abuse.

Rachael Scharrer, founder of divorce and separation advice suffered from financial abuse herself in her former marriage and said it was an insidious and widespread problem.

“The challenge with financial abuse is it’s almost one person’s word against another’s,” she said.

“The police don’t step in because it’s not a police matter — no one has been hurt physically or threatened. So what do you do in a marriage that has huge financial issues or restraints?

“People stay in marriages for different reasons, but everyone gets a financial reality check when they separate.”

But the mother of two said escaping an abusive relationship was worth the financial struggle that followed.

“Gaining and maintaining employment is the key to escaping financial abuse, but it isn’t always so easy,” she said.

“Severing myself financially from my husband and securing financial independence and freedom is the true escape from financial abuse. By being self-reliant I am in control of my future.”

Relationship expert, therapist, coach and mediator Darleen Barton said most Australian marriages ended when females were in their early 40s — a particularly vulnerable time as many women take career breaks or leave the workforce entirely to raise children.

She said at the time of separation, the average woman struggled to cope with the cost of living and providing for her children.

“Unless a court order comes quite quickly, the female will usually be bearing the brunt of the financial situation,” she said.

But she urged women in abusive and violent relationships to leave despite the hardship and to contact a range of support services available to them, including the police, Relationships Australia, women’s shelters, churches and women’s legal services..

“I always ask my patients, ‘if the worst possible thing happens, could you live with yourself?’ and if the answer is no, you need to take action — forget about your finances,” she said.

“There are plenty of places out there in Australia so pick up the phone and get help.”

According to?White Ribbon Australia, one in three women have experienced physical and/or sexual violence at the hands of someone they know, and one woman is killed per week by a current or former partner in Australia today, while domestic and family violence is the main cause of homelessness in women and children.

Signs of Emotional Abuse:??6 Signs Of An Emotionally Abusive Relationship You Shouldnt Ignore | BetterHelp - YouTube

Why woman don't leave-??Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner - YouTube

NOTE: We do not always know what is going on behind close doors in the homes of our friends and family. One women a week will die at the hands of a present or past partner. The children suffer terribly thier whole life.?

?MANY Australian women in toxic relationships face a heartbreaking choice: Stay and face regular abuse, or leave and endure a different struggle.

If you think this is not your issue, it actually is. Your children may be friends with the children in one of the families where there is Domestic Abuse. You see, poor behaviour bleeds over an entire community, it is the responsibility of our communities to get involved.

Family and domestic violence - Who else can help with family and domestic violence - Services Australia

Safety is a basic Human Right...?Children and young people | Australian Human Rights Commission

It is NOT OK for children to live with a Domestic Abuser

Kindest Regards

Darleen Barton | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author

Practitioner

Address Servcorp offices-?Level 1 The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600

Phone??0261983423

Website?www.dipac.com.au?

Mediator?Nationally Accredited | NMAS | AIFLAM | AMA

Counsellor/ Therapist?/ Positive Psychology- Nationally Accredited |ACA|IICT

Executive coach?Nationally Accredited |ICF

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If at any time you, a family member or friend feels overwhelmed to the point they feel they need help call immediately?000 OR 131114

There is always a way through your current thoughts.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support