The Silent Digital War: Protecting Teens from Emotional Manipulation

I was about 12 years old, riding my bike back from an errand I was running for my parents. I was not born with long and voluptuous hair, but I grew up with it. My mom always used to braid our hair like Pippi Longstocking, so we got quite the remarks on our hairstyle, and beyond!

But on that particular day, a young man stopped me on my bike and started to insult me for no reason.

Vulgar language, referring to my skin and why my kind should go back to where we came from.

Believe it or not, I was quite shy as a young girl, and in that moment, I just felt pure fear of him going to harm me. Physically.

I tried to escape as fast as I could to get home. I was used to being called awful things, but I was not so used to being stopped and harassed.

Over the years, I have developed what I call emotional firewalls.

I understand words can be used as a weapon to harm others. And I made it my mission to not allow words to dictate how I feel. It took me decades though to come to this point in my life, and I can see with my son that I have a long way to go to teach him this as well.

This research paper describes it best how words can inflict harm on our emotional and mental well-being:

“Words are powerful: they can be used to offend, to hurt and to threaten people. Some words are like weapons, they wound like bullets, some are like poison, they slowly affect the mind and activate a lethal semantics.”

Why am I so concerned, and why should you be so concerned when it comes to the use of language as a weapon?

The lives of our kids are at stake.

This is not a light statement. It is based on the staggering number of teens falling for financial sextortion scams, with over 30 kids having taken their own lives because they were forced to pay and endure horrific language to comply with the criminal demands.

Financial sextortion is the fastest-growing crime targeting children in North America and Australia—accelerating at an alarming rate, with incidents surging up 1,000% in the past 18 months, according to this report released early this year.

So how do we begin as parents, caregivers, family members, educators, and responsible digital citizens to do our part to fight this crime and help teenage boys and girls stay safe online?

Understanding the threat is the first step. Scammers use language as a weapon to manipulate emotions and influence decisions.

Sextortion scams use threats and vulgar language to instill fear and shame once they are ready to extort money from their victims or other horrific acts.

Romance scams use emotional and manipulative language to create false relationships and gain trust.

Other social media scams use scary and urgent language to create a sense of panic and urgency.

These tactics can cause significant emotional distress, leading to hasty decisions and vulnerability. Understanding the emotional triggers behind these scams is the first step in building resilience.

Guidance for Parents and Caregivers

From the perspective of parents and caregivers, the primary concern is the safety and well-being of their children. The digital age presents unique challenges, especially with the rise of online scams that target young, vulnerable individuals.

How can parents ensure their children recognize and resist manipulative language online?

Open communication is key. Foster an environment where your child feels safe discussing their online experiences. Educate them about common scam tactics and the emotional manipulation involved, and leverage the power of emotional intelligence, which has been proven to make a difference.

According to the FBI, cybercrime against children increased by 50% during the pandemic. Nearly 70% of teens report experiencing cyberbullying, often involving manipulative language (source: Pew Research Center).

Guidance for Educators

Educators also play a crucial role in shaping the digital literacy and emotional resilience of their students. The classroom is a powerful place to introduce and reinforce these skills.

How can educators integrate digital safety and emotional intelligence into their curriculum?

Incorporate lessons on digital safety and emotional intelligence into everyday teaching. Host workshops and seminars on recognizing and resisting online scams. Engage with parents to ensure a consistent message is delivered at home and school.

Over 60% of educators report that their students have experienced some form of online harassment (source: Cyberbullying Research Center). Implementing emotional intelligence programs in schools can reduce bullying by 50% (source: CASEL).

Guidance for Teens

How can teens tell if someone online is trying to manipulate them?

Be mindful of how online interactions make you feel and recognize when something seems off. Talk to friends and share experiences to stay informed about potential threats. Educate yourself on common scam tactics and how to report them.

This free audio visualization exercise can help you integrate a reflection practice as part of your toolbox to stay safe online when using social media to meet new people and have fun online.

Guidance for Tech Giants

Tech companies also have a critical responsibility to ensure the safety and security of users, especially minors. They must develop and implement robust measures to protect users from manipulative online behavior. How can tech companies create a safer online environment for their users?

Leverage and invest in the power of advanced AI detection to block manipulative language and scam tactics in real-time. Provide resources and tools to educate users about online safety. Enhance features that allow parents to monitor and control their children’s online activities with digital ease. And make certain tech features mandatory for teens, no consideration and no option. Consider being an ethical tech giant that does its part to prevent a digital pandemic for our teens.

Tech companies have reported a 300% increase in online scams targeting minors in the last two years (source: Google Safety Center). Implementing robust safety measures can reduce online scams by up to 70% (source: TechCrunch).

Our Locus of Control Starts with Our Emotions

Building emotional firewalls is a collective effort that involves understanding the power of language in scams, recognizing the emotional impact, and adopting practical tools and strategies across different perspectives. Parents, educators, teens, and tech giants all play a vital role in creating a safer digital environment.

To help you get started, I have developed a free online course to help you reduce the risk and ultimately prevent kids from falling for financial sextortion scams. This course is part of my bigger mission to stop scammers in their tracks by building emotional firewalls for every generation.

The emotional firewalls toolbox includes:

• Self-Awareness: Understand your emotions and how they affect your actions. Practice self-reflection and mindfulness to gain emotional clarity.
• Authentic Expression: Learn to express your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. Help teens express their emotions confidently through writing, art, or open conversations.
• Relational Skills: Build strong communication skills for better online interactions. Create trust within families and classrooms so teens feel safe to share and ask for advice.
• Informed Decision-Making: Improve critical thinking to make smart decisions online. Teach teens to question suspicious messages, check information, and think about consequences before acting.
• Stress Resilience: Learn ways to handle stress from online interactions. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, exercise, and time management can help maintain emotional balance.

Together, we can create a safer digital environment and build the emotional resilience needed to thrive in the digital age, starting with the most vulnerable population group, our kids.

Love, Nadja ?? ?? ??

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