A Silent Danger: Suffering Toxicity
Vivian Nwogu (MCIHRM, CHRP)
Global HR Generalist || Recruiter APAC & EMEA || L&D || Performance Management || Google Certified Data Analyst || Digital Transformation Consultant
I was weeping profusely in the restroom, eyes swollen with shaky fingers! This reaction came as a shock to me as I struggled with the tissue I was using to dry up my tears. I couldn’t explain why I was getting such an emotional reaction from someone telling me “Thank you”!
A couple of months ago, I went to a non-financial institution that was going to be my new employer to sign my job contract. I couldn’t hold back my excitement! Not because that was my first job offer, but because this job would bring me closer to attaining my career aspiration of becoming a recruiter—for me, Human Resources was all about recruitment! I didn’t know better. This may be a story for another day!
I sat in a large conference room with an amazing ambiance and big windows. As I looked around, I began to calculate how much the organization might offer me. “Omo! Very soon I will be a baller!” I said, and a smile crept up my lips. I was carried away and didn’t realize I was no longer alone. A beautiful young lady had walked in, and she smiled back at me, replying to my not-so-personal thoughts “You need to work hard here before you become a baller o!”- I immediately felt hot and blurted out my greeting in embarrassment. She proceeded to brief me about the job position and introduce me to some of my colleagues. I left feeling enthusiastic about my new phase.
The Impact on Well-being
the negative consequences transcend from emotional to psychological and finally to the physical.
Three months into the new role, I was emotionally drained and practically walking on eggshells. I had an early arrangement to move into a vacant HR position upon my confirmation; however, I felt like I was already on the brink of letting go of that dream due to my boss’s toxic behavior contributing significantly to a work environment that quickly became emotionally distressing. I was losing it. I would probably score 10 out of 15 of the below-listed toxic behaviors exhibited by managers.
The most common toxic behaviors exhibited by managers include:
Thereafter, I began experiencing frustration and a sense of being undervalued. Anxiety, fear, and distress soon followed, leading to increased sick leave due to frequent headaches, colds, significant weight loss, and even hair loss. It took me some time to realize that all of these symptoms were directly linked to the toxic work environment in which I found myself.
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How I managed the toxic environment.
Unfortunately for me, the organization did not have an employee assistance program (EAP) nor an in-house psychologist, so I was left with the only choice I had, which was to rely heavily on the support of colleagues and close friends for guidance and a morale boost. I remember I tried confronting my boss, relying heavily on work, and taking days off at every slight opportunity; however, it didn’t end so well as it only resulted in more negative outcomes.
Finally, I found an escape route. Another job offer came my way, and leaving such a toxic work environment behind was a very easy decision to make. I remember praying so hard that I did not need another toxic boss in my lifetime.
Just two weeks after starting my new job, my manager gave me a task and offered his guidance and support should I need it. I was taken aback by his sincere words, and he ended his statement by saying “Thank you”. Tears welled up in my eyes, so I immediately excused myself. I barely made it to the restroom before the tears came running down.
In conclusion, experiencing a toxic work environment can have severe physical, mental, and emotional consequences for employees, however, to heal from the consequences and move forward, it is essential to find healthy coping strategies by seeking support from colleagues, friends, or external resources, prioritize self-care, think positively and, if possible, remove yourself from the toxic environment altogether.
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As we close the pages of this chapter, let me share a glimpse of the soul behind these words.
I am Vivian – an HR professional, a YouTuber (@primeinsights ), and a devoted writer. My journey through life has been an exploration of the profound and the everyday, seen through the lens of a wandering, introverted heart. Subscribe to my bi-monthly newsletter, where I continue to craft stories from the tapestry of existence.
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