Silence at Work: When It Helps and When It Hurts

I’ve sat in countless meetings where silence has filled the room. Sometimes, it was the kind of silence that felt hopeful—a pause filled with reflection, where ideas were simmering just below the surface. Other times, it was heavy, oppressive even, like everyone was holding their breath, afraid to say the wrong thing. Over the years, I’ve come to see that silence at work isn’t just the absence of words—it’s a presence. It tells us something about the culture, the trust, and the safety within a team. The challenge is learning to read it.

Let’s be honest: silence is complicated. Sometimes, it’s exactly what we need—space to think, to create, to listen. Other times, it’s a warning sign that something isn’t right. Knowing the difference can make or break the success of a team.

When Silence Helps

There’s a kind of silence I deeply respect. It’s the pause someone takes to gather their thoughts, to make sure what they say matters. I call it "preparatory silence." As someone who often needs a moment to process before I speak, I know that this kind of silence isn’t disengagement—it’s thoughtfulness.

But here’s the problem: too many workplaces equate silence with disinterest. I’ve seen leaders misinterpret a quiet team member as someone who’s checked out when, in reality, they’re the one carefully constructing a response that could change the direction of a project. We need to normalize this kind of silence. Imagine how much more we’d get out of people if we gave them the space and patience to fully process their thoughts before they shared them.

Then there’s what I call "comfortable silence." It’s that rare moment you share with someone you trust, where words aren’t needed. I’ve felt this kind of silence in the best teams I’ve worked with—the ones where everyone just clicks. These silences are moments of connection, where people don’t feel the need to fill the air with noise just to prove they’re contributing. It’s a sign of trust, of belonging. It’s beautiful, and it’s powerful.

When Silence Hurts

But not all silence feels good. Some silences weigh heavy, carrying fear or exclusion. I remember sitting in a meeting years ago where no one dared to challenge a leader’s bad idea. The silence wasn’t reflective—it was paralyzing. People weren’t quiet because they agreed; they were quiet because they were afraid. That’s the kind of silence that hurts.

This is what happens when there’s a lack of psychological safety—when people don’t feel safe to speak up, to disagree, or to admit they don’t have all the answers. It’s a silence rooted in fear, and it slowly erodes trust, collaboration, and innovation. No one thrives in that kind of environment.

Another kind of silence I’ve seen is what I call "false harmony." It’s the silence of people nodding along, pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. On the surface, it might look like the team is in sync, but under the surface, resentment or unspoken conflicts are bubbling. This kind of silence is a thief—it robs teams of the creative tension and honest dialogue they need to grow.

And then there’s the silence of exclusion. If certain voices consistently go unheard, it’s not because those people have nothing to say—it’s because they don’t feel their voice is valued. This type of silence is the most painful to witness because it’s preventable. When people feel silenced—whether because of bias, cultural dynamics, or systemic inequities—it’s a signal that the workplace isn’t inclusive. And no one should ever feel invisible in their place of work.

What We Can Do About It

As leaders, colleagues, and team members, we have a responsibility to pay attention to silence. We can’t just gloss over it or rush to fill it with words. We have to get curious about it. Is this silence helping, or is it hurting?

To start, we need to create psychological safety. This means building a culture where people feel safe to be honest, even when what they have to say is hard to hear. It means modeling vulnerability and showing that it’s okay to admit mistakes. Psychological safety isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the foundation for teams that thrive.

We also need to normalize pauses. In meetings, after asking a big question, let the silence hang for a beat. Give people the time they need to reflect. You’ll be amazed at the depth of ideas that emerge when you create room for them.

And perhaps most importantly, we need to actively include everyone. That means paying attention to whose voices aren’t being heard and inviting them to the table—not just once, but over and over again. Inclusion isn’t a one-time act; it’s a continuous effort to ensure everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

Silence Is a Teacher

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that silence isn’t just the absence of noise—it’s a teacher. It can show us where there’s trust and where there’s fear. It can tell us when a team is thriving and when something’s wrong. But only if we’re willing to listen.

So, the next time you’re in a meeting and the silence feels awkward, resist the urge to fill it. Instead, lean into it. Ask yourself: What is this silence trying to tell me? Because in that silence lies the truth of where your team stands—and where it can go.

And if you’re the one holding back, unsure whether your voice matters, let me remind you: it does. Your silence doesn’t have to be permanent. Speak when you’re ready, and trust that what you have to say is worth hearing. Because it is.