The silence of the storm.

There is a storm raging around the world, a storm we choose to be blissfully unaware of. In fact, this storm has been raging for generations now, engulfing normal, joyful lives that come on its way.

As per the WHO, depression is one of the leading causes of disability in the world today. The WHO also states that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds and those who live with severe mental health conditions die as much as two decades early than their 'mentally healthy' counterparts because of aggravated physical conditions caused by untreated and unaddressed mental health issues.

As per the World Bank, nearly 1 billion people worldwide live with a mental heath disorders and in low income countries, more than 75% of people with the disorder do not receive treatment. The most shocking part as per the World Bank is that about 50% of mental health disorders start by the age of 14.

So why am I bringing up these statistics?

What do these statistics imply?

To be honest, till a few years back, I regarded depression and anxiety disorders as typically 'luxury' diseases, that is to say, normal (not wealthy) people like many of you reading this and I could never fall prey to such diseases. But everything changed for me in the year 2017, when my world came tumbling down because of a heartbreak and for the first time in my life I had to seek psychiatric assistance and take anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications.

The years since have been ones of constant struggle for me, being ripped apart by minor events and then undergoing processes to put myself back together and improve. Today, thankfully, I am at a phase where I have built acceptance for everything that happened to me and have in the process become far more resilient and confident. However, over these years of introspection, I learnt something about mental health disorders that I want to share with the world to show what it really looks like and how mental health diseases actually shape up. So let me share a little story with you to see how mental health disorders grow inside us silently, without any warning.

I am sure you have once in your lifetime come across a strict perfectionist who is never happy with a great outcome only because it is not massive enough for him. Or, you have come across someone who tries extremely hard but can never get things right, never produce even good enough results. While most of the times we are inspired by the former and support his penchant for brilliance, almost every time, we look down upon the latter and label him as a terrible loser even though we know nothing about his experiences.

Now let me tell you, we are actually dealing with severe mental health issues on both the ends of the spectrum and confusing it with character flaws or strengths. In almost all cases (barring a few exceptions), the perfectionist is an individual who as a child grew up in a family where mistakes were never accepted and attention and support from parents came only when the child behaved impeccably. In the process, the child grew up to be an individual who saw his worth only in the results he produced, working diligently day and night to come with nothing but the best.

On the other hand the one who is constantly failing at a particular job was most probably the sensitive child who was creatively and imaginatively gifted but his gifts meant nothing to his parents who were either negligent and abusive or absolute control freaks who wanted their child to fulfil the dreams they themselves could not attain. The inherent sensitivity of the child however prevented him from becoming a perfectionist because his heart lay somewhere else. In both these cases, therefore, we have mentally fragile and unhappy people who are leading bonded lives as per the dictates of their family and society. Once both these individuals reach their tipping point, they are going to crumble like a house of cards because the real defences were never built.

And such is the story that unfolds in many a household around the world where:

1. An otherwise gifted student commits suicide or takes up addiction because he/she could not stand up to the high expectations of the family.
2. Women end up with severe anxiety or depression because they are not given the freedom to be themselves, to wear what they want, to have a social life outside the family and to be vocal about their needs.
3. Men suffer from anger issues and end up becoming alcoholics because they are always goaded to be strong and never show their 'softer' side. In addition, they are burdened with the role of the 'provider' in this increasingly materialist world.
4. Employees call sick on numerous occasions because they are treated like 'nobodies' by their bosses or seniors in a culture which lays undue emphasis on productivity instead of 'integrity'.
5. A mind-numbingly large number of people in their advanced years are falling prey to dementia and Alzheimer's because they spent their youth running after material pursuits and better incomes instead of looking at themselves, taking the much needed breaks and enjoying valuable time with their friends and families.

And unfortunately, the saga continues to this day, where we run after the tags of being the youngest millionaire, the next big thing in the tech world or the mega Instagram influencer. While I am not against an ambition for excellence, what my personal experiences have taught me is that life is all about living - about meeting people, about enjoying and respecting Nature, about building happy families, about pursuing our hobbies, about helping each other in times of need and everything else that makes us human. It is not just about taking vacations in picturesque and luxurious destinations only to show the world that we have arrived.

The essence of mental health lies in freedom - most importantly, the freedom from the fear of missing out (FOMO). If we can just achieve that, I am sure the silent storm raging inside each of us today can be defeated and quietened for good.