Silence Speaks Louder Than Words: The Secret to Charismatic Communication

Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President of the USA.

Unlike other presidents in history who were commanding and excellent public speakers, Coolidge was a little different.

They called him "Silent Cal”.

He was witty, eloquent and relatively… quiet.

He was known to not say much in a world where you needed to make your voice heard and stand out.

As the president of a nation, this was quite extraordinary.

There was a story where a governor became very impressed with Coolidge.

He was amazed at how many callers Coolidge could respond to in a single day as Vice President... and still finish work promptly by 5pm.

The governor himself would end at 9pm just to finish up his own calls, which were around the same number as Coolidge.

Intrigued, he asked Coolidge: “We have about the same number of people to talk to in a day. Why do I take longer than you?"

Coolidge simply replied: “Because you talk back."

Silence is the Key

Usually when we think charismatic leaders, we tend to think of great orators who have mastered the art of speaking.

But the more subtle trait of charismatic speakers is that they are comfortable with silence.

On stage, silence allows you to hold onto your audience’s attention, creating moments of suspense for whatever you are about to say.

The notorious Adolf Hitler was famous for this.

Hitler was known to captivate his audiences with mystique and suspense whenever he stood in silence before addressing the masses.

He gets them hooked by not saying anything, as audiences eagerly anticipated what he was going to say.

In conversations, silence allows you to truly listen to the other person, putting both parties in a deep state of rapport and connection.

Most people are uncomfortable with silence. Silence is awkward.?

And we feel an irresistible compulsion to fill up that silence by speaking.

But charismatic people understand the value of silence.

And the magnetic effect it can have on people.

How to Use Silence to Be More Charismatic

If you want to be more charismatic, start getting comfortable with silence.

It may feel awkward at first, but once you get the hang of it, you'll start to notice changes in the way people respond to you.

For Public Speaking:

Before your speeches or presentations, take a moment to pause and breathe before saying your first word.

Don't rush immediately to begin your presentation.

As you come to the stage, gently make eye contact with the audience, smile and “ease into” your presentation.

This will make you appear more calm, composed and confident.

At different points in your presentations, find strategic moments to pause and allow your audience to fully digest the information you present.

Pauses are an excellent way to get your audience thinking and anticipating what you're about to say next.

This works amazingly if you want to make a stronger impact with your points.

By pausing, you can exude stage presence and radiate charisma as a presenter.

For Conversations:

If public speaking is too daunting for you, practice silence in conversations first.

When in an exchange with someone, practice pausing 1-2 seconds longer before responding. This will train you to listen more intently and also allow your partner to share more.

Restrain yourself from cutting people off. Be mindful of whether you are listening to respond or listening to understand.

During certain lulls in the conversation, practice just silently enjoying the company you have with the person. Smile and nod slowly, to encourage your conversational partner to continue speaking and open up to you.

If you master this skill, you can build powerful rapport with anyone you meet.

People will feel like you are an amazing conversationalist, simply because you allow them to share more with your silence.

Remember: listening is the biggest compliment you can give a person. So use silence as a way for you to practice listening actively.

About Me

I'm Hyder, and I'm a charisma coach, trainer and director of my organization The High Flyer Nation. As a charisma specialist, I coach high performing leaders, speakers and entrepreneurs to develop their natural charisma and command a high level of influence, respect and authority at work. I also mentor professional coaches to get paid coaching clients and create a consistent income from 1-to-1 coaching.

Click here to learn more about my superpowers.