Silence is Powerful!

By Alison Freeman, Executive Communications Coach and Brand Strategist, President of AliComm

Did you realize, LISTEN & SILENT are spelled with the same letters - crazy huh?

In today’s hyper-connected, over-stimulated world, every waking moment is spent checking devices, managing deadlines, posting opinions, and on and on I could go. The power of silence is a lost art....and the noise has DIS-connected us from each other and ourselves.

But, why should we – as communicators – care about silence? After all, people pay us to communicate! 

In fact, I used to think of my mouth as my most vital organ. My success was defined by my ability to articulate something and have it be understood. But after spending nearly 20 years as an executive communications coach and strategist, that misconception was debunked. I learned that silence, used thoughtfully and strategically, affords us the opportunity to be present, establish mutual respect for others, listen and really think before we speak. 

Abraham Lincoln once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt.” 

When silence is put into practice, it actually helps build personal brands, create meaningful connections and establish confidence in the workplace.  

And, (bonus!) It helps amplify our soul speak (I’ll explain). 

Confidence in the Workplace

Think about how silence is used in the professional world. Therapists and investigators alike use silence as a tool to get folks to open up. While interviewers use silence as a strategy to see how candidates conduct themselves, and negotiators see silence as a powerful stalling tactic. 

In presentations, introducing pauses, particularly after a key message, lends greater credibility and adds impact to the message. And, when coaching or mentoring an employee, pausing creates a safe place for them to share their thoughts, and lets that person know you’re actively listening. 

Silence can indicate contemplation or empathy; authority and power; confidenceversus insecurity.

To quote the remarkable Mark Twain, “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a  rightly timed pause.” This is SO true! 

Meaningful Connections

Silence is also key in relationships – and we all have them. Friendships, significant others, children, coworkers…

But, did you know that the root cause of most upsets in relationships stem from miscommunication?

The greatest gift you can give someone is the purity of your attention.

Good communication starts with listening to build trust. THEN it’s okay to open up and share your perspective. A few words of wisdom on this – leave selfish conversations behind. They don’t allow for trust, understanding, satisfaction, productivity, teamwork or accomplishment.

I’ve always said, if you’re speaking, you aren’t learning. End of story.

Soul Speak: Your Inner Well-Being 

Being quiet is hard. Within seconds, the mind scatters. The average person has 50,000 thoughts per day! EXHAUSTING!

But, sometimes it’s necessary for our inner well-being to rid our lives of the noise. In fact, multiple clinical studies have said regular mindfulness practices and meditation lead to a more positive emotional state. 

"By making a soul connection, your true purpose in life will become the foundation of everything you do." Deepak Chopra

Let me share a personal story.

Three years ago, my husband left me – after 20 years of marriage and just after my 50th birthday. Soon after, my business partnership ended, I had bi-lateral knee surgery, I sold the home where I raised my children, bought a new smaller home, started my own business and sent my son (first born) off to college. My middle name was TURMOIL!

At the time I was meditating and that started my soul speak journey...I was going crazy, and I desperately needed to rid my life of the noise. 

I decided to take a trip to a Tibetan Monastery in Northern California for a “mediation and silence retreat” (and I mean total silence). Ironically, it was deafening. There was no internet, no devices, no TV, no talking, no motor vehicles, no coffee or sugar – just complete and utter silence and meditation.

But through this, I eventually quieted my mind and spirit - the 'monkey chatter' subsided, and I realized that silence isn’t empty (despite the common misconception) – it’s full of answers. The universe was speaking and had so much to say to me!

I found my inner well-being again. That weekend was nothing short of miraculous and set the foundation for my soul-speak journey. One I continue each day.

Now, as I'm about to be an empty-nester, sending my daughter (my baby) off to college - I'm grateful for the connection tools and spiritual foundation I learned through the power of silence....and through my tumultuous journey.

I know, we all have a story - and we all need to connect. That's what humans NEED. That's what humans DO.

I suspect you recognize the importance of effective communication in your respective role. It's essential for meaningful leadership, interpersonal connection and personal growth. But, it requires intention in this noisy world. I encourage you to value and embrace the power of silence. 

If you’d like me to share a deeper version of this topic with you and your organization, I'm hear to connect - and to listen! Please reach out to [email protected].