Silence is language of Gods !!

Trust and Silence

“Silence is the conversation of Gods….” Said Rumi, 800 years ago.

“Can you tell me a little bit more about………” This prod at the start of a conversation, to understand the objective of the conversation, exploration, seems to have broken the dams and my client thereafter spoke effusively for 48 minutes. Each line that was being said, the words being weaved, they were like effervescent gems in a fountain of emotions, experiences sprouting from within. The client was enthused, candid and extremely sincere in expressing a simple question posted in the moment which appeared a very simple question after all. As I was listening with intent and empathy I was also taking the keywords and some of the expressions, exclamations and intonations which to me were extremely graphic moments as well as powerful proclamations. At a pause of three to five seconds, as I would be thinking to prod this along the flow, my conversation partner would have immersed in an another stream, different expression, exploration altogether. For me keeping the attention, curiosity and walking along with the client at this time in silence and respect what was being reciprocated: worked out very well for both of us. 

I could have so easily destroyed this conversation by my eager interjections, to impress my client. 48 minutes is a long time.

It became very clear that the entire candid sharing and narrative was not ad-hoc but extremely cyclic continuum, like a symphony that starts with very low, mellow delicate notes, matures in to a thunder, and coalesces in crystal clear notes: all the opportunities, subsequently all the options, some of the ponderable, regret and remorse and from all this, convergence to a simple next second simple question of the conversation, “So when are you taking your first step…..” I saw my very intense friend for the first time sit up from a stoop to wide shoulders, & wrapped up the entire ownership of the management of the actions for the way forward with clarity & conviction.

It was that straightening of the drooping shoulders, the disappearance of those deep burrows from the forehead to the wide open smile with deep dimples and the big eyes with its whites shining like a “Beamer” BMW was the sublimation of this conversation.

This once again reinstated my firm belief that a good conversation is built upon trust and reciprocated with curious silence.

To build trust that too with a person whom you are meeting for the first time, in a distant digital conversation, in the absence of any formal agreements & introduction by a sponsor, the onus of building a bridge of Trust is with me. 

What works for me is this that over here I take the initiative to open up my own personality, my proclivities & turbulence, in a manner which are honest. I place before my conversation-partner that I am an ordinary mortal not a “10”. I too have things & these are WIP. I am just like them.

This conversation is my Lodestar for passage still ahead of me.

“Silence is the conversation of Gods….” Said Rumi, 800 years ago.           

Anil Bakshi