Silence is Complicity

A couple of weeks ago, the redoubtable @Madison Butler, wrote an excellent post under the lead line “If you don’t want to be called a racist.”

In reply, a reader posted the following, quoting from Madison’s post: “’This work is about ensuring we dismantle harmful systems so that racism isn't a tolerable or acceptable part of society.’ ‘I agree with what you say here but it’s news to me. Where exactly is it tolerated or accepted as you stated?’”

Among others, I replied to this poster and said: " it is tolerated every time POC are denied equal standing, paid less, not hired, insulted, shot by police, you name it. Where are ‘white people’ rising up to protest almost daily shootings of black men by police? Learn about unconscious bias and its manifestations and you’ll learn where it’s tolerated.”

Nothing special here – I reply to and comment on posts a lot. What did surprise me was that in a very short time, my brief reply garnered 55 likes, more than I think I’ve every had to a reply, and it got me thinking.

Based on a reply he sent me, I believe the commenter was sincere in what he said – he really was unaware of racism being tolerated or accepted. His reply to me was sufficiently appreciative that it’s safe to assume that no one had ever brought this up to him before, which is amazing to me in this day and age, and it troubles me greatly.

Given all the publicity about Black people being killed by police in situations where white people are, at most arrested, given Charlottesville, Charleston, and on and on, how, I wonder, could anyone be unaware of racism being tolerated and accepted by white people?

Oh sure, there were demonstrations and expressions of outrage and concern, but the vast majority of white people remain silent. As Dr. King, among others, pointed out, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter," and racism inarguably matters.

So why are people silent in the face of everything I mentioned in my reply or more? To think they don’t know strains credulity. In my work in DEI I’ve never encountered people who don’t care once they are confronted with the facts, so I can only conclude they are willfully ignorant.

Willful ignorance occurs when individuals realize at some level of consciousness that their beliefs are probably false, or when they refuse to attend to information that would establish their falsity. (Mark Allcke)

Or possibly in denial.

Denial is a defense mechanism in which an individual refuses to recognize or acknowledge objective facts or experiences. It’s an unconscious process that serves to protect the person from discomfort or anxiety. (Psychology Today)

In either case, what is at stake is their psychological comfort. In my work with corporate teams on DEI, I start by telling them that they must at least be willing to stretch beyond their comfort zone or out time together will be a waste, and then I watch as, one by one, they get uncomfortable and have to move past it.

As for the 55 people who applauded what I said, I wonder how many of them were appreciating that I said what they did not dare to say. Maybe not – maybe they say it every day – but the volume of the response made me question it. I don’t really blame them – it’s very uncomfortable to stand for awareness of the racism that surrounds us, and I don’t always do it myself. The other day someone who is very dear to me used the word “powwow” to mean “meeting.” I swallowed hard and let her know that Native American friends of mine have told me that using this word outside its original context is offensive to them. I held my breath until she responded positively to the feedback, because as often as not the response to these small interventions has been negative – ranging from silence to scorn, and that’s uncomfortable for me.

Yet ethically I have to place my small discomfort against what women and BIPOC tell me they experience when they feel unsafe to walk or drive down the street, to hear verbal slights, to endure environments that were clearly not designed with them in mind, and on and on.

The word “woke” has been coopted by the Right and turned into a supposed insult. Woke, which originated in the Black community, means “alert to injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism,” and pejorative uses notwithstanding, it is exactly what is needed. To be awake to our own unconscious and conscious biases, racism, and sexism – no one could grow up white and not swim in the waters of racism and sexism – and to speak up when we see bias in action. As Gandhi said, “Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.”