Silence

Many of us desire to experience those rare moments where silence is prevalent around us.?We even seek the merest of moments when silence can be identified and appreciated in those fleeting seconds between a child’s cry or a dog’s bark or a passing vehicle just outside the window. We seek places that provide those rare moments, or so we believe.?I have yet to find an area at a beach or a park or even a cemetery where sound does not invade those areas and brief moments.

There is even a song titled “The Sound of Silence” that teaches us to fear the sound of silence for what lurks within its depths is evil and dangerous. ?Yet, we still seek silence. Then we have the “Silence is Golden” which indicates that silence is dangerous yet once again, with evil that not only lurks but can kill and destroy.?

In movies, one sees the victim slowly and quietly walking around the corner of an already silent home or location only to have the killer reach out and either kill them or capture them for their fun in the silence of some basement, cellar, or other location.?

Why do we continue to seek silence? Even with the previous cited examples, I still sought silence until that day in 2020 when the Covid Pandemic had been declared.?Busy and noisy roads that were nearly bumper to bumper the day before was all but empty that morning. ?Before heading to work, I stopped at Kroger to pick up my meals for the week.?The lot had fewer than 20 cars in it, this was unique but still, I trudged inside.?I could see staff stocking the shelves and the veggie bins near the doors, I could see customers moving about slowly, almost as if in a daze.?I entered the store and immediately stopped.?The only sound I heard was the swish of the doors behind me closing and even then, they were nearly silent. The staff was quietly stocking the shelves carefully placing the stock almost reverently on the shelves as if striving to not make noise.?There were no conversations, no elevator music playing either.?Even the carts being used refused to squeak, the broken wheels almost glided over the floor.

Here was the sound of silence I had always longed for only to find it inside Kroger.?I realized I could not breathe, if a pin had fallen onto the floor on the far side of the store, I would have heard it.?My breathing became labored and quick.?I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing but that did nothing to help me.?I opened my eyes and realized I was going to experience a severe anxiety attack if I didn’t stop it.?I closed my eyes once again and instead of focusing on my breathing, I focused on the SOUND of my breathing.?That stopped the attack, that stopped the feeling of dread and danger I felt beginning to grow deep inside me.

I quickly moved through the store, not encountering a single person in any of the aisles I entered.?I could see people walking through the store, but I stayed away from them.?The look in their eyes was almost a tangible fear. I could not identify the fear in their eyes or ask them about it for I dared not speak.?I was not going to be the one to break the silence.?At the self-check-out, there were two Kroger employees. They dared to be talking!?While they dared to speak out loud, they did so in a whisper. They were leaning into one another’s ears, so they too did not break the silence.?Even the sound of the self-check registers did not speak, almost as if they too were fearful of breaking the silence.

?The sound of silence is not something we should seek any longer and something I no longer desire.?In the words of Simon and Garfunkel as well as Bob Crewe and Bog Gaudio, Silence is not something to aspire to but rather to avoid. Silence brings fear and danger, fear is not golden.?