Silence Can be Golden

The Tremeloes famously reached the top of the UK single charts with ‘Silence is Golden’ back in 1967, and as any experienced communications professional will tell you that sometimes keeping a dignified silence is the best stance to take and not immediately react or directly respond to an antagonistic voice, especially within a public forum.

Remaining ‘tight-lipped’ can be deemed by some as being a rather outmoded way of reacting to criticism, however as anyone responsible with managing reputation will know maintaining credibility often demands restraint and diplomacy, coupled with a wider and longer-term perspective that looks beyond the immediate incoming assault and weighs up how best to respond.

The quandary of ‘should or shouldn’t you say something’ when coming under fire has been discussed widely on several broadcast and media channels in recent weeks, following the release of Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’ and the preceding Netflix outpourings from Harry and his wife. Interestingly, what has surfaced is a growing respect for the Royal Family who have not responded directly to these events but have continued with their duties, engaging positively with the people and organisations they support, and the causes they espouse. The outcome of which has been an ever-increasing show of favour for those within the Royal Household including many who were either ambivalent or ‘lukewarm’ towards ‘The Royals’, while patience and empathy for the protagonists appears to be running out.

Airing private and personal thoughts, showcasing your highs, lows and challenges on a public platform became the new grist-to-the-mill of social media channels in those early days. It was accompanied with the calls by new influencers to ‘speak your truth’ and ‘own ?your narrative’, as part of the new age of ‘empowering your personal brand’, all of which was designed to leverage better opportunities and greater prosperity for the individual through an extended network of contacts and followers. In part it worked and ushered in new paradigms which needed to be understood and managed. However, giving everyone a ‘loud-hailer’ and inviting them to ‘pull back the curtain’ on their lives as well as share their thoughts on anything with thousands of unknown people in an instant, has predictably led to a chat room on steroids where almost anything goes and people can emerge wounded, affronted, or plain bruised, distraught, and even destroyed. The reality being that the World has always been inhabited by people of all persuasions, morals, and standards and not all enter the public media forums with the best of intentions or are suitably equipped with the tools to conduct themselves so they can appropriately respond to conversation exchanges. The potential for brickbats being thrown and false trails being laid down with accompanying indignation, triggers being used to ignite controversy and open up vulnerabilities, while stepping into traditional ‘no go areas’ of privacy - this is ripe for manipulation and can destabilise long held beliefs, relationships, or even the status quo within families and communities.

With this backdrop, many are rediscovering the benefit of silence and winding back from full personal disclosure. Learning to pause, not to ‘knee-jerk’ react but to consider their long-term wellbeing surveying their future and the wider horizons of impact, is an essential discipline for a public communicator. Noting that once uploaded and thrown into the public digital realm, commentary and content will be forever crystallised in the ether and that it may reappear, trawled by others who can reshare or critique out of context, or leverage for some (unintended) new purpose. Being hoisted by your own words at some indeterminate time in the future is something that even the most seasoned writer can overlook, and one needs to be ever mindful of and watchful over – just ask Jeremy Clarkson! (ref. his recent comments about Meghan Markle).

Over the past few decades, we’ve seen how communicators have evolved with the myriad of digital channels and social platforms, while traditional media have had to readjust to a digitally connected and diverse landscape. Communications professionals have had to reshape the culture within business and organisations to ensure the old ‘command and control‘ of PR and media relations has morphed into a more responsive two-way conversation led approach. That the domain of the corporate external relations team, where the rigours of responsible briefing and releases used to flow outward through a few approved channels (to equally professional journalists within established media owners) has now widened to encompass individual employees inside and outside of the communications teams managing public conversations through a plethora of social platforms.

I never cease to be impressed by the resilience and commitment shown by those who have to manage the array of channels and conversations that maintain the reputation of an organisation, while responding to the variety of needs and reassurance demanded by the diversity of their stakeholders and the wider public.

As we stand at the beginning of 2023, it’s worth reflecting on the following;

• That maybe ‘baring all’ in a public forum may not always be the best strategy in building long-term credibility amongst your peers and especially the wider public, whichever way you try and justify it. Using glib, fashionable memes of ‘speaking my truth’ and ‘being truly authentic’ coupled with ‘living my best life’ are at best short-lived sugar-coating and are unlikely to enhance long-term wellbeing.
• ?Maintaining a wholesome reputation can sometimes be best served by maintaining a dignified silence. In the event of sustained, unjustified attack then others can and will speak or defend you if necessary.
• ?There’s no need to always respond directly to a dissenting voice on social platforms as this can just ‘fuel the fire’. There are those who comment on posts who are purposely trying to antagonise and troll, and not interested in mature discussion, or to learn, clarify, or achieve resolution. There are even automated bots and fake accounts set up to do just this and purposely destabilise and cause mayhem.
• ?Avoid ‘bear baiting’ and ‘bear traps’ – commonly used by protagonists and even journalists in mainstream media on the premise of eliciting a controversial response from you, that can then be turned and used against you. Often resorted to when there are few facts or evidence to support their own view or assertions. In being faced with such an approach, best to pause and not immediately react. Interrogating their question or prompting them further requesting clarification can dismantle an attempt to provoke you. A flat refusal to comment or a polite sidestep are your other options.
• ?Don’t feel the need to have to constantly ‘share’. Many social media regulars with large followings have admitted how good it is to step away from the rough and tumble of social media, and have reclaimed their equilibrium and wellbeing by doing so. Acknowledging that all of our lives are a perpetual journey of highs, lows, and challenges is actually reaffirming, and that some private moments are best kept private saving you from the unnecessary stress and anxiety that may come later from the need for a post to be retrieved, deleted, debated or justified in a public forum that you have no control over.
• ?It’s worth remembering that some of the old maxims still stand; ‘Publish and be damned’, ‘Don’t post anything you wouldn’t share with your parents’, and ‘Don’t write and send something that you may regret tomorrow’. These little checks are very useful along with the wise advice of ‘Don’t post on social media when you’ve been drinking (alcohol) or using intoxicants.’
• ?And once you’ve said it, you can’t unsay it. You can apologise and withdraw but this does and can pose reputational risk depending on who hears it and how far it travels, the impact of which can be far-reaching and compromising to health and credibility. ?Sometimes it’s just worth ‘keeping schtum’, and if you’re finding that hard then just crank up The Tremeloes, grab a hairbrush and sing along for a few minutes, you’ll feel much better.

#communications #socialmedia #reputation #reputationmanagement