Signs You're Not Respecting Your Own Workplace Boundaries

When we think about “boundaries” in the workplace, we typically think about the ways in which other folks—our bosses or coworkers for example—cross our boundaries. But what about when we cross our own boundaries? Better yet—what if we don’t even know what our own boundaries are?

We asked Tia Coach and mental-health provider, Julia Hunt, LCSW , to unpack real-life workplace challenges and shed light on ways to help name, understand, respect, and adhere to your own boundaries in the workplace. The goal? To help you create a healthier work environment and a healthier you. Let’s dig in:

“I’ve told myself I am going to take breaks to eat and I continue to work right through lunch. By the end of the day I feel hungry, have a headache, and feel disappointed in myself.”

Warning Signs: Irritability, decreased concentration, fatigue

The Result: Reduced productivity, increased stress, burnout

What can you do about it: Reevaluate your priorities.?

Take a moment to really think about how skipping lunch impacts your well-being and productivity. Think about the fatigue and even the potential long-term health risks it may pose. Here's a tip: Start by believing in yourself and setting clear boundaries for a healthier you. Now, let's take action! Reassert those boundaries and get creative with new approaches. How about pairing your lunch break with something you truly enjoy? Maybe it's a good book or a quick walk outside. Consider teaming up with an accountability partner (after all, boundaries are kind of like contagious good habits!), set up reminders to take those well-deserved breaks, and don't forget to reward yourself. Remember, it's okay to be kind to yourself, especially when you need to hit the reset button.

“At my last job I used to gossip all the time. On the one hand, it drew me closer to certain co-workers (who later became friends), on the other hand I saw how damaging that culture could be. I started a new role and I want to start fresh but find myself in similar situations.”

Warning Signs: Trust erosion, anxiety and tension, rumor mill

The Result: Negative self-image, decreased self-worth / loss of confidence, team division, social stress?

What can you do about it: Expand your focus and prioritize growth

Pause and reflect on why you find yourself caught up in workplace gossip. Dive deep into the reasons behind it. It's important to recognize the negative impact it can have on trust, the overall workplace atmosphere, your relationships, and even your own well-being. Now, let's pave the way for a more positive journey. Start by making personal growth a priority and connect with like-minded individuals who can offer support and encouragement for your better choices. Stay mindful of the temptation to conform, and make a conscious effort to surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you!?

“I do all the “right things.” I meditate, I exercise. I make time for friends. I get decent sleep. But I still feel super overwhelmed by my workload. My boss even tells me to take personal days to de-stress, but I still feel like I am drowning.”

Warning Signs: Resentment towards self, perceived ineffectiveness, boundary stress, long-term focus, missed moments

The Result: Burnout, diminished job satisfaction / reduced enjoyment, stress buildup

What can you do about it: Find balance / balance your priorities

Pause for a moment and really think about what's throwing you off balance. Identify those parts of work that drain you and the areas where exhaustion creeps in. Now, let's get back on track. Shift your focus to the present moment and ask yourself if your attention lines up with your priorities. It's perfectly okay to carve out some personal space and spell out your needs clearly. Perhaps consider a refreshing vacation, if that is an option for you. Craft a detailed plan and take action. And here's a thought—why not weave your self-care practices right into your work life? It's all about finding that sweet balance.

“I pride myself on being a “can do” person, but I end up just saying yes all the time. I honestly feel like I can do all the things I say yes to, but disappoint myself and others when I can’t, or when I don’t do it well.”

Warning Signs: Overcommitment, personal disappointment, pressure to perform, approval-seeking

The Result: Strained relationships, diminished self-esteem, stress and anxiety, unmanageable workload?

What can you do about it: Reassess your commitments?

Take a moment to reflect on the choices you've been making. Ask yourself how constantly saying 'yes' serves your well-being and understand the reasons behind it. It's okay, we've all been there! Consider the timing and appropriateness of your commitments; it's about finding balance. Expand your choices beyond the simple 'yes' or 'no.' Try out 'not yet' or 'not now' to make more mindful decisions. Here's the key: Make a personal commitment to communicate your boundaries and commitments clearly, both to yourself and those around you. Remember, you have the power to choose. Use it wisely, prioritizing what truly resonates with your values and what fits within your capacity.

“My organization has affinity groups for people of color, and there is an expectation for me to participate. In certain settings, I feel guilty for not voicing my opinion. There is pressure from my coworkers, and even to some extent from myself, but it’s really fatiguing and a part of my job that I dread.”

Warning Signs: Tokenization pressure, representation expectation, emotional fatigue and/or anger

The Result: Internal conflict or questioning, resentment, emotional stress, objectification, exclusion, identity burden, feeling unsafe

What can you do about it: Preserve your voice.?

Allow yourself to truly feel the feels—embrace them, and get in touch with your needs. It's all about regaining control over your own life. Take a moment to reflect on the level of involvement you're comfortable with, and don't hesitate to assert your boundaries clearly—even if it means opting out entirely. Remember, boundaries are flexible and evolve over time. Trust your instincts, release that burden of guilt, and let your boundaries empower not just you but others around you as well. Cultivate a habit of positive self-talk, advocate for respectful inner dialogue, and find comfort and support within your community. Your voice holds tremendous value, even when you choose to say 'not now'!

And there you have it! Navigating and respecting our own boundaries can be quite the journey. You may even consider starting with an open and honest conversation with your workplace to set clear expectations, communicate your capacity, and adjust your workload for a healthier balance.

At Tia, we're all about empowering you to steer your own career path. Your Tia Coach is your trusted partner in uncovering the 'whys' behind those workplace challenges and shedding light on the unique signals that hold the keys to understanding. Together, we can craft a customized plan centered around your personal goals and reinforcing your boundaries.

Your search for a healthier work environment and a more fulfilled you starts right here, and we're here to walk with you every step of the way. Learn more about Coaching at Tia !