Signs Your Husband Wants A Divorce (Signs Your Husband Doesn't Want You Anymore)
Signs your husband wants a divorce - Signs your husband doesn't want you anymore.?
Unfortunately, the number of married couples who get divorced is continuously rising. According to the 2012 survey, divorce rates have been rising. There are many married people, like you, who are wondering whether their spouse is planning a divorce when marital problems are very persistent.
Major red flags usually go unnoticed because it is usually thought of as a fresh beginning. For instance, a spouse might suddenly take interest in the kids' school and activities, or to ask their partner to do some financial shuffling. The clues do not usually fall into place until the unknowing spouse meets with his or her divorce attorney after the other partner has began the proceedings. To help you determine whether your spouse is planning his or her exit, here are a few major signs you should look into.
Altering Gifts From In-Laws
During the years you have spent as a couple, there might have been large financial gifts or inheritance given to you by your in-laws. Most of these financial gifts usually go to paying the house which is split in half in the event of a divorce. If your spouse suddenly asks you to sign a document that alters his or her parents' gift as a loan, your spouse might be planning to reclaim it in a divorce settlement.
Talk Of Bankruptcy
If your spouse suddenly talks about the possibility of bankruptcy or that financial times are hard, it might be a sign that a divorce is brewing. This is a strategy used by many individuals planning for divorce to prevent their spouse from getting assets and financial support. In addition, if your spouse suddenly becomes more secretive about his finances and assets, that is another major sign.
Spends More Time Away From Home
Another obvious sign that your spouse wants divorce is when he spends more time away from home. The wife or husband might say that they want to clear their head or simply want some time alone. Other signs to look out for include:
Your Partner Suddenly Gives Up
You and your partner have been dealing with marital problems for a while but you are trying to work things out by going to counseling or going on dates to rekindle the flame. After exerting enough effort, your marriage seems to be getting better- at least that's what you think. Then your spouse suddenly gives up.
He might suddenly refuse to continue counseling or they don't want to go on a date with you. There might even come a time when your partner closes his or her line of communication.
These are just a few of the major red flags that you need to look into. Although it is hard to accept that divorce is just around the corner, it is best to be prepared than to be caught unaware.
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Stop Your Divorce to Save Your Marriage
I am of the view that marriage is sacrosanct and should be life-long. Death is the only thing that is to separate husband and wife. No matter what the circumstances are, there is no ground for divorce. The only exception would be unrepentant sexual immorality in the form of adultery.
Nowadays, couples divorce for flimsy reasons. They claim that they have irreconcilable differences and that gives them the right to divorce. Statistics show that one out of two marriages end up in divorce. Sadly, our legal system allows for this. But married couples should use all possible means to reconcile rather than take the easy route out of their marital problems. Even if there is physical violence between the couple, it should not be a cause for divorce. Separation, yes but divorce, no. As a strong proponent for the permanence of marriage, I would like to share some practical tips for couples in troubled marriages.
How to Remain Married
Firstly, if you are already in the midst or at the verge of filing for divorce, stop it straight away. If you remove the means to obtain a divorce (or at least make it hard for yourself), it compels you to work out a way of reconciliation. Although it may cost you some monetary loss, it will be worth it to save your marriage. When my wife and I got married, we made an agreement with one another that the word 'divorce' would never be in our vocabulary. Today, we have five wonderful children and have stuck together despite the ups and downs and one reason for it is that we have never considered divorce no matter what happened. Another phrase we have made a point never to use is, 'it's your fault'. When you are married, it's never just one person's fault. Whatever goes wrong, you must face it together. So, never blame-shift. Doing so will hurt your marriage badly.
Secondly, try to get each other's cooperation in saving the marriage. Just like it took two to fall in love and marry, it also takes two to save a marriage. What if one partner never really fell in love or fully agreed to marry the other? What if the marriage was done out of compulsion because of an unwanted pregnancy or some other reason? What if the marriage was one of convenience for the purpose of facilitating some other matter? Sometimes two persons marry each other for business or political reasons. Such things are not unheard of. Let me share my view on that.
I feel that even in such cases as the above, all is not lost for your marriage. That is because human beings are versatile. This includes the area of loving and marrying. This means that you can grow to love someone and eventually enjoy being married to and living with that someone. Your marriage may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but it is by no means the end of the world. You CAN make it work, especially if both partners are willing to try.
Thirdly, ask what your partner wants or needs from you. Empathize and understand his or her needs. Allow your partner to express any want or need (as long as it is not for a divorce or for another spouse. I disagree with polygamy). Then think of how you can meet that want or need. Obviously, this should be done both ways. When you focus on meeting the need of your partner, you are half way towards reconciliation. That is because when your partner genuinely sees that you are doing all you can to please him or her, it would cause a reciprocal action on his or her part. This way, it becomes a win-win situation. Now what if what your partner wants or needs is beyond what you can give or is so unreasonable that it is impractical to provide for it?
Generally in such cases, you should strike some form of compromise. Agree to meet him or her half-way if he or she can do the same for you. If you need to, get help from others. Look for someone you can trust, whether it is a close friend, another couple, a minister, a relative or a professional marriage counselor. Talk things through with the person. Have that person arbitrate matters if necessary. Often each person views a matter only through the lens of his or her own self-importance. An independent person can provide an objective viewpoint in any dispute. Have that friend walk you through the process of healing and reconciliation.
Conclusion
All is never lost. If even only one of you is willing to take such steps towards reconciliation, there is hope to save your marriage.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.