Signs it’s time to start therapy

That scene belongs to the mythical Nickelodeon show “Hey, Arnold!” We see Helga discussing her need to go to therapy with her dad, and she points out a very important topic: Therapy wasn’t normalized until very recently.

For some older generations, it may be odd listening to younger ones expressing their need to go to therapy. What’s your case? Have you ever started a therapy process? How do you know you’re ready for it? Let’s dive into the subject.

? How do you know it’s time for therapy?

? FAQs: Therapy edition

?? When someone you know needs counseling

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? How do you know it's time for therapy?

Here's a personal story. The first time I went to therapy, I was around 12 years old. And you may wonder, Why? Well, I didn't know at the beginning. It wasn't my decision. My mom just wasn't sure how to deal with her first teenager.

It felt awful. I didn't understand what that was about, and honestly speaking, it is not nice sharing personal ideas and experiences with a stranger with one of your parents in the room.

In the end, the therapist just gave my mom a book about teenagers and how to deal with them. And I didn't go back until my late 20s.

That time, it was my choice. I was under a lot of pressure, and even though I was doing my best to handle it, the truth is I wasn't okay.

I endured many months of anxiety and stress. It was affecting my work, sleep patterns, relationships, and general well-being. And it wasn't until I hit one of my rock bottoms that I said, Okay, I need help.

My process lasted a year. In the beginning, it felt odd because I wanted an immediate solution to my problems. But that solution did not depend on my actions. That's when I understood that therapy wasn't about finding a solution; it was about understanding myself and reaching out to the resources within and around me to feel better about what it is, what it was, and what it could be.

If you're curious about how to know it's time to start therapy, here you have some signs:

1) You're experiencing persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or other emotions that interfere with your daily functioning and quality of life.

2) You're going through major life changes such as a breakup, job loss, moving to a new city, or the death of a loved one.

3) You find yourself relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms.

4) You're experiencing conflicts or difficulties in your relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners, or coworkers.

5) You're experiencing negative physical symptoms without any apparent physical cause (like chronic pain, nausea, headaches, insomnia)

6) You find yourself trapped in negative thinking patterns, self-criticism, or low self-esteem.

7) You feel stuck in a rut, lacking direction, or unfulfilled in your personal or professional life.

? FAQs: Therapy edition

As with many things in life, sometimes we don't dare start something because we are not sure what to expect. When starting therapy, you probably have a few questions in mind… How about we answer some?

• What exactly is therapy?

It can be defined as a safe, non-judgmental space for you to share your feelings, worries, and experiences to get guidance, reflect, and understand yourself.

• What's the right type of therapy for me?

There are many types of therapy, each one based on different theories and approaches. Some are psychoanalysis, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy), and existential therapy. The right one for you depends on your therapist’s approach to your struggles. You can research more about the types of therapy and contact a professional in the field you’re more interested in.

• What does therapy feel like?

Some sessions can be challenging; after all, you are opening yourself up and getting in touch with raw emotions and experiences. Generally speaking, therapy feels safe and a lot like a relief, in the sense that it helps you develop more adaptive ways to coping with life.

• How often should I attend therapy sessions?

Therapy frequency depends on factors such as the severity of your concerns, your therapist's recommendation, and your availability. The usual frequency is between once or twice a week.

• How long does therapy usually last?

This also depends on your struggles and the therapeutic approach you take. We recommend not starting with a time frame in mind; go along with the process.

• What if I don't feel comfortable with my therapist?

This feeling can arise at any time. If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist, at the beginning or middle of the process, discuss your concerns with them. You can also consider finding a new therapist who better meets your needs.

If you have a close one who already attends therapy, ask them questions! It's good to get a closer perspective from someone you trust.

And if, in the end, you decide it's your time to start, feel free to ask your therapist any questions. They are there to help you and your unique needs.

?? When someone you know needs counseling

Do you know someone that's going through a lot? Have you noticed a friend is having a hard time dealing with trauma? Then, chances are you have thought this person could benefit from therapy, but… How can you convince them?

Since starting therapy is such a personal process, and despite the need being evident, it is not possible to force someone to do this. And if you have already tried, you have probably encountered several negative and explosive reactions.

Know that this is normal. Sometimes, people believe therapy is only for the crazy ones or that they are fine on their own.

We all have defense mechanisms. And when we need to protect ourselves from harsh truths, deal with trauma, or stop harmful habits, we may react negatively because it feels like 1) we are being exposed and 2) we don't even know where to begin.

If you know someone who needs a little encouragement to start their own journey, you can try these steps:

1. Express your concern without forcing an action; simply mention that you care about them and that professional guidance could be beneficial.

2. Listen empathetically and validate their experiences, even if you don't fully understand or agree with them.

3. Offer to help them research therapists, find affordable options, or schedule appointments if they're unsure where to start.

4. Respect your friend's autonomy and decision-making process.

5. Check-in regularly to see how they're doing and offer ongoing support and encouragement.

6. Respect their decision and try to avoid statements like I'd do this instead of that or I'd never let myself reach this point.

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Thank you for joining us once more. We hope you have gained a bit more clarity on if this is the right time for you to start therapy. And if it is indeed your time, we wish you the best and that you get to develop the peace you have been looking for.

Feel free to share this newsletter with someone who could also need some help with making this decision.

Until next week!