The Signs Of Compassion Fatigue, and Four Ways to Get Through it

Compassion fatigue isn’t just “being tired.” It’s a deeper exhaustion that comes from constantly giving emotionally to others, leading to feelings of stress, isolation, and sometimes a sense of unworthiness. It can affect every aspect of life—work, relationships, health—and recognizing it is the first step in addressing it.

Recognizing the Signs of Compassion Fatigue

Many people experience emotions they may not fully understand, which can silently influence their work, family life, and personal well-being. Some common feelings associated with compassion fatigue include:

• A sense of overwhelm, anxiety, and self-doubt
• Feeling unworthy or incapable
• A constant internal pressure to “do better”
• A pervasive sense of exhaustion and disconnection

Have you felt any of these? If so, you’re not alone. These feelings are often accompanied by behaviours that are easy to overlook or dismiss as normal stress responses. Here are some of the most common behaviours observed in those with compassion fatigue:

• Memory loss or feeling mentally “foggy”
• Decreased empathy, moodiness, or irritability
• Procrastination, excessive screen time, or isolation
• Difficulty sleeping or staying up late working
• Resentment toward work and personal obligations

One major behavioural sign of compassion fatigue is procrastination. When tasks feel overwhelming, we often avoid them, isolating ourselves or engaging in numbing activities like scrolling through social media or drinking. Recognizing these behaviours is key to understanding when it’s time to shift focus toward self-compassion.

The Bravely Connected Method: Attuning to Yourself

Through my Bravely Connected method, I guide people to tune into their own needs first. To truly help others, we need to start by understanding our own emotional state and needs. This starts with a simple yet effective process of “attuning in,” which involves identifying our resting emotional state and recognizing the thoughts and behaviors connected to it.

Ask yourself:

1. What is my resting emotional state? Take a moment to notice what emotions are present. Are you feeling worried, frustrated, or overwhelmed?
2. How do these emotions show up as thoughts? Identify the inner dialogue connected to these feelings. Are you thinking, “I’m not enough,” or, “I can’t keep up”?
3. What behaviors are arising from these thoughts? Are you becoming irritable with loved ones, isolating yourself, or avoiding tasks?

When we bring awareness to these patterns, we empower ourselves to take proactive steps toward change. This process doesn’t require long, introspective sessions—it’s something you can practice daily, even in moments as simple as a walk or a quiet drive.

Grounding Yourself in Strength

When we identify compassion fatigue, it’s essential not to stay stuck in a deficit mindset where we focus only on what’s wrong. Instead, ground yourself in your strengths. Recognize the resilience and grit that have allowed you to overcome past challenges, and remind yourself of what you’re doing right.

Shift Your Mindset:

• Identify positive qualities rising within you, like resilience, perseverance, or empathy.
• List the things you’re doing well, even on difficult days.
• Remind yourself that, while you may feel compassion fatigue, it doesn’t define your entire experience.

Acknowledging our strengths can keep us grounded, preventing the spiral of self-doubt that often accompanies compassion fatigue. Rather than feeling defeated by what’s hard, focus on how these experiences are building resilience within you.

Controlling the Controllable

Another crucial step in managing compassion fatigue is recognizing what you can and cannot control. By doing so, you can step back from the overwhelm and take positive actions to support your well-being.

What You Can Control:

• Creating a healthy sleep routine
• Setting boundaries with work and personal obligations
• Saying “no” to additional responsibilities
• Choosing what you listen to or watch, especially if it’s adding stress

What You Can’t Control:

• Others’ responses or emotions
• Unpredictable situations or outcomes

Listing out the things you can control allows you to focus on what’s within your power, letting go of areas where influence is limited. This mindset can be incredibly freeing and helps avoid burnout by managing expectations.

Connecting Strength to Opportunity

Finally, for every challenge you face, connect it to an opportunity. This step shifts your focus from problems to solutions, reinforcing a proactive, strength-based approach. Think of every issue you encounter as an opportunity to apply your unique strengths and see them as catalysts for growth.

For example, if you’re struggling with parenting a child who faces anxiety, think about the strength it takes to “show up” even when it’s hard. Use this strength to create a plan for how you’ll respond to tomorrow’s challenges, practicing your resilience actively.

Remember Who You Are: A Reminder to Heart-Centered Caregivers

The truth is, you are an exceptional leader, a dedicated parent, an inspiring teacher, and a compassionate psychologist or social worker. You bring heart, resilience, and a drive to make a difference in the lives of others. However, the demands of constantly giving can wear down even the most dedicated. That’s why taking steps to replenish yourself isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.

Practicing Self-Care with Four Core Strategies

The four strategies we’ve covered—attuning to your emotions, grounding in your strengths, focusing on what you can control, and linking strengths to opportunities—are all ways to pour back into yourself. Here’s how you can integrate these practices into your routine:

1. Morning Reflection: Start your day by journaling about your emotional state, strengths, and goals. This prepares your mind and grounds you before the day’s challenges.
2. Evening Centering: At night, reflect on your day. What did you do well? What challenges did you face? Centering yourself before bed helps set a positive tone for the next day.

Both practices help you become aware of your inner needs and strengths, guiding you to start each day with purpose and intention.

Stay Bravely Connected

Remember, the world needs you and the compassion you bring. To continue serving those you love and lead, staying bravely connected to yourself is key. You have what it takes to overcome compassion fatigue and to continue making an impact. Don’t forget it—stay bravely connected.