Signs of Attachment and Freedom

We would have heard about discourses from religious and spiritual personalities who advise us to shun all kinds of attachments because any attachment brings pain, sorrow and hence we will not be happy, peaceful in life. And when we appear to be convinced by their words we would then think of how to be detached from everything. That means, for every action we habitually look for its opposite and try to achieve or meet it eventually. But the tragedy is that we are looking for something that may not exist or may not be a fact. As a result we go on expending time and effort in vain because all such actions are futile and delusional.

?Whenever we think or realize that achieving detachment may not be easy in life we may try to justify attachment by equating it to love, affection, compassion, caring, bonding and so on. Not only this, we may try to rationalize attachment and try to live with its consequences, bitter or sweet, by consoling ourselves that life must be like that only and there cannot be any other way. So, attachment may appear to us as responsibility, which is considered as a virtue. That means we have allowed ourselves to be caught in the perennial cycle of pleasure and sorrow, pleasure being only a spark that may appear and vanish occasionally.

?So, we must first try to understand what is meant by attachment and how we are attached to anything in life. Once we have a fair understanding of this we must then try to understand all the consequences of attachment and the root cause of attachment. Because attachment is the fact, what exists, but not detachment. Detachment is just an idea, concept, which we would have invented as an escape from attachment only after realizing that it may free us from all miseries. But, in the action of all kinds of escape there will be a continuation of misery because we are not facing the fact, which is attachment and not addressing it rightly.

?So what is attachment? ?Is it a desire, tendency to cling to something, a person, or a thing or some ideology? But when we have rationalized attachment and hence considered as a responsibility towards one’s own family, nation, ideology, belief, etc., then attachment becomes an unconscious decision we may make. So, by identifying many instances where this attachment may manifest itself we may be able to understand it better. So, let us look at the following movements of thought:

?1.??? Do we desire to possess someone or something when we have a liking or compulsion?

2.??? Do we fear about losing it and hence try to protect it always?

3.??? Do we not tolerate if someone abuses it or try to create trouble?

4.??? Do we have an expectation on how he/she must behave or function?

5.??? Do we feel sad or angry because of its disappearance even momentarily?

6.??? Do we have jealousy when some other person has possessed similar one

7.??? Do we not mind spending money in order to please him/her or preserve it for long?

8.??? Do we always want him/her to be happy even if it doesn’t imply a normal life?

9.??? Do we have an ambition to enhance our possessions over time?

?If we notice any or all of the above instances of emotions we may understand the nature of attachment. It is obvious that these instances appear to be a sign of love, affection, etc. But, there must be a subtle difference between attachment and love. Love cannot bring pain or sorrow whereas attachment is bound to bring sorrow. Does it mean that if one loves he/she should not have any of the above feelings or emotions? ?Does a loving person not have any responsibility at all? Of course, love and responsibility must go together. But in case of attachment it is the sense of duty that may fill one’s mind but not responsibility. Then what is the difference between a duty and a responsibility?

?Responsibility is to respond adequately and rightly to a given situation without any motive or fear or compulsion. It is something that one takes the ownership to respond when the situation demands without causing any kind of hurt to others. If one is unable to respond in that manner due to any external factors then he will not worry and instead maintains silence without any sense of remorse. But in case of duty it is quite opposite to responsibility. A duty bound person is always bothered about accomplishing the task in hand as per the expectation, no matter what consequences it may result in. For him completing the task is more important that how he wants to accomplish it. A person with love cannot function like that at all. So, a duty bound person is responsible for just accomplishing the task or duty for his own sake whereas a person who owns the responsibility wants to ensure that not only the task is accomplished but it is done in right manner. For him the means and the end are both same and hence he will not bother about the end as it is not visible or known yet and the means chosen by him will be good enough to guarantee the desired end.

?So, when we are attached to a person or a thing or anything for that matter, the absence of it obviously brings pain and sorrow to us and the pain or sorrow may result in strengthening the attachment later on. So, it becomes a kind of prison where we get caught. But then how can we show affection and take care of our possessions? Is it not right on our part to do so? Yes, every creature on Earth has an inherent instinct and intelligence to protect its offspring and belongings. If a mother has no emotions towards her baby how can she look after it and how can the baby survive?

But the question here is how one can be responsible even without a sense of attachment. What happens when I am attached to something? I start liking it and identify myself with it. This emotion may result in disliking other things, which I may not possess. Also, I may fight with anyone who may try to capture my possessions. In doing so I may ignore the feelings and emotions hidden in the person possessed by me. Because, I remain delusional that I am protecting him/her but I may be insensitive towards him/her. That means I may be causing pain or sorrow in whom I possess but I am ignorant about it. If I am responsible then I must be sensitive too, which is love. If the person whom I possess wants freedom from me them I must be willing to set him/her free but still ensure his/her safety and wellbeing. If at all I am able to exhibit such a responsibility then I will be free from all attachments. Because, what I do will be a right one and it must have arisen from the clarity I may have. So, if one has clarity and hence is free from all motives, fear, compulsion and so on then he will be free from attachment also and hence may not face pain or sorrow. One may ask, “does it mean one will be free from all physical ailments, which may bring pain or sorrow?” . No, it may not be like that. The physical body may undergo deformation and also succumb to illness from time to time, which one may not be able to prevent. But in spite of that one may be able to not personalize it and hence may not feel the pain or sorrow.

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