The Significance of Insight

Whether you are in work situation with colleagues that's not going well, dating a partner and encountering problems, or dealing with your child and their other parent; your capacity to demonstrate insight into the needs and feelings of others, and correctly identify the root of any problems, is key to effectively resolving any issues.

Having an awareness of the desires and motivations of others, is a skill that is tremendously helpful when working with others in any capacity.

It is an invaluable skill that you need to utilise and hone, when assessing a parent's ability to parent their child throughout their childhood.

I have rarely, if ever, come across a parent who does not, at least in their own way, love their child. The issue that many parents I have worked with, tend to struggle with, is how they show their love for their child.

And how they show their love for their child, is invariably associated with their own parenting experiences, which to a large extent determines their awareness of both their child's needs, and their ability to meet those needs.

Parent's then can arrive at parenthood, without any appreciation of their strengths and weaknesses at being able to meet their child's needs, but with all the natural desire to parent their child.

The environment they have been consistently exposed to as a child, has a powerful impact on their understanding of a number of issues.

Let's take for example a parent whose childhood has been immersed in domestic abuse, arguments and conflict.

Whilst that parent may be loving and appropriate, in the manner they behave in a number of ways, their behaviour nevertheless let's them down when any sign of conflict arises, and they 'fly off the handle,' or express a disproportionate level of ire, to the situation posed.

Such a problem may be manageable in the event that the parent is able to recognise, where they need help, and are willing to address such behaviour, conscious of the harmful effect it would have on their child.

Unfortunately though, many parents who have been brought up in environments of conflict are unable to see their shortcomings, because conflict and discord has become so much a part of their lives, that they can't see the harm they are exposing their child to.

Trying then to explain this to such parents, further evidences concerns about their ability to provide appropriate care to their child, because when challenged the behaviour often displayed, as a result, aptly demonstrates their unsuitability at meeting their child's needs consistently.

Making progress with that parent's capacity to provide 'good enough parenting,' then is hindered, because that parent is not motivated to make the changes required because they are not aware of the need to do so.

Lacking insight in any area of your life, keeps you stuck and unable to see the appropriate way to move forward.