The Significance in Being Your Unapologetic Self

Think back at work over the past couple of weeks, months, years, or even decades… what did you look like? What did you sound like? Go on, dig deep into those memories and be honest. Come to think of it, if you don't self-reflect, then??? don't read this article??

Preamble

For ~40 hours a week (out of the ~112 waking hours), the majority of 158.58 million employees in America get their ritualistic coffee, apprehensively go to work, and indulge in something a psychologist would call "masking." It's like clockwork, and you don't have to wait for season tickets to see this fascinating phenomenon, but you do have to wait until tomorrow! All you have to do is visit your co-workers or boss at the office first thing tomorrow morning. Or, here's the fastest way: look in the mirror if you did that 5-minute reflection you were supposed to do earlier. If you're still deciding which might be faster, here's a hint; the latter is the most time efficient but is the most difficult. Also, if you haven't Googled what "masking" is, you can find the definition here. For those who didn't click the link, masking is - well - a "mask put on by individuals due to social pressure, harassment or abuse." Not an actual mask, of course, because putting on a real mask to show our emotions would be far too easy. Yet, we all put on that emotional mask for work, going out, and life.

What it means to "Mask" at work

Masking isn't inherently a bad thing. In fact, if your company culture facilitates masking and you revel in it, great! However, if your company culture demands it for career progression and day-to-day interactions, you're probably left to feel exhausted by the end of the day. You see, perhaps like you, I found myself looking in the mirror at work precisely 441 days ago (from when I wrote this article) and saw someone fake, a stranger who kind of forgot what he wanted out of the short 80-something years we have on this Earth. I took all the masking I did at my previous job over the years, bottled it into a separate persona, and sold it to myself for the hefty price of 8-10 hours a day. If you find that last sentence hitting a little close to home, you may be in the same boat I was in back in the day. But what does this masking look like??

Simply put, you present a different fa?ade than who you truly are. You react differently and present emotions you typically wouldn't too certain situations at work. You may stifle your style to want to "look professional." You could even change the way you sound, switch up the cadence of your walk, or even hyperbolize stories told to co-workers at lunch so this fake person can fit in better. However, all this change in the form of masking is not your fault. There is a social pressure element to this mind-numbing emotional turmoil, but it is not something you are born doing. It is a learned behavior you most likely picked up in high school. But we are all adults living in an adult world, and we are supposed to be "mature" about our feelings. If this was the case, then why do these problems brutally persist?

***btw, if you want to check out more on masking, peep this video my cousin made 12 years ago. It's called Protocol of Person and Social Syntax: Lesson One, which is hands down a favorite.?

Examining Cause & Effect?

Life in a corporate setting will teach you one thing, work culture indeed matters ??. I have found that being in a toxic culture is the one thing to blame for masking. More so, working with co-workers and bosses who consent to the toxicity. This toxicity is attributable to an apparent disconnect from company leadership (e.g., Fortune company executives) in how?they think?a company should be. I'm not talking about small business here (unless the ?? fits). It seems like -specifically- #corporateamerica coddles this type of toxicity and embraces it in the name of customer service, "professionalism,"- which is subjective, or being competent. Even more so, there are clear statistics on what masking looks like from a racial perspective.

A study from Deloitte?concluded that many of us mask our true selves at work. A breakdown by race and sexual orientation found that less than 50% of straight white men hide their personalities to fit the status quo. Furthermore, the study found that 66% of women, 79% of Black people, and 83% of lesbian, gay, and bi individuals mask their true personalities at work. All this data points to the inevitable truth that there is a clear success bias. You could even call it a one-dimensional view of what success looks like, and that view isn't fair. But most of us want to be successful, make a lot of money??, and be true experts at what we do. So, how can we move past this glass ceiling while nixing the mask? Well, the answer isn't quite that simple. It requires employers to accept that we are humans, not business machines. We have feelings and must be allowed to express those feelings beyond the vocal. Additionally, employers must start being more accepting of all walks of life. These efforts come in the form of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), expression of clothing style (i.e., getting rid of dress codes in the office), and throwing out the mentality that your employees must make compromises in their true selves to fit into your "culture."

Bright future ??

There is excellent news to all of this, and I promise things are starting to look up. From this millennial's point of view, it seems like American employees are just beginning to unburden themselves from the shackles of the "old way of working." This new way of work (#futureofwork, anyone?) seems to manifest itself in many forms. COVID-19, for example, had some mysterious impacts and appeared to thrust this way of thinking forward by years. Employees seriously reconsidered if going to a workplace every day and hiding what they felt was worth the exertion. The status quo had them fed up, and more people are taking off their masks post COVID-19 (no pun intended) to ask their true selves, "Is this what I really want to do?", "Is this really where I belong?".

Simply put, employees are engaging in a paradigm shift from collectivism to individualism. This change will bring about new ways we handle day-to-day working environments. Furthermore, placing employee needs first seeks to advocate being genuine in the workplace, which could lead to less turnover and happier people. You shouldn't have to make yourself palatable for anyone or any company for all those reading this. Be authentic, stick to your values, and be your unapologetic self.?

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References

https://vimeo.com/10959612

https://healthandhealthier.com/masking-personality/

https://www.fastcompany.com/90648843/why-fake-it-till-you-make-it-is-toxic

https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/pages/about-deloitte/articles/covering-in-the-workplace.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masking_(personality)#:~:text=Masking%20is%20a%20process%20by,%2C%20physical%2C%20or%20sexual%20abuse.