You Fake Listening!

My neighbor in the next society fell from the 15th floor and lost his life few days back. The family called it an accident to deflect social scrutiny. It is likely they had no idea what the man was going through.

Very often we get misled by 'Signaling' and consider it a truth. How often you hear 'I didn't expect her to do this' or 'He doesn't appear such a person' 'How can s/he do this?' Unfortunately, this not only happens with those who you know distantly but also with those who share the roof with or who you talk to every day.

Every perception we draw based on clothing, car, a quote on T-shirt, membership of a club or party pouts in disco, is meant to give a message to the world. Everything that you see on social media (including this post) is signaling. The more power you have, the more your life will be driven by this as is the case with politicians and celebrities. The question comes: Is this wrong? No!

What we need to do is to pay attention to people who matter to us. Make an effort to interpret the unsaid part of what they say. Put the conversation into context and listen to the various verbal and non-verbal cues. Offer them space to be vulnerable and disagreeable. Have compassion for their mistakes. Led by proximity bias, we believe that we know the people we love. Unfortunately, the fact is we have little idea what's going in their mind and life.

Now, the suicide rate in the USA is 30 percent higher in comparison to 1999. A Harvard study by sociologist Mario Luis Small found people are more likely to confide worrisome thoughts with those who they meet randomly than their near and dear ones because they fear to be judged and critiqued. This is a warning sign.

It's high time we redefine listening and practice it consciously before we hear about the next accident around us.

When was the last time you listen to someone consciously?