Is It A Sign From The Universe? Or Am I Just Scared?

When we are scared, our minds will rationalise every reason to turn and run in the opposite direction.

In 2011 I was in New York to do a presentation for one of the major banks. The morning of, I found an updated swell forecast in my email. The craziest swell of the year is headed to “The Right” a remote surf break off the coast of Western Australia. “The Right” is one of the most dangerous but spectacular breaks in the world. Surfing there is scary in itself, but the thought of surfing it off the back of 2 days of jet lag infused travel was TERRIFYING. 

To say I was nervous would be a gross understatement. I was shitting myself!

To get to this swell on time, I had to leave the conference immediately after my presentation and rush to the airport. If everything went to plan, I would arrive in Western Australia the night before the swell with all my gear ready to surf the next morning. Of course, everything did not go to plan. 

Firstly, I could not get past the fact that the one international commitment I had that year was coinciding with the “swell of all swells” back in Australia. It felt like maybe I just wasn't meant to surf this swell. 

Then, my first flight out of NYC gets delayed, and I miss my connecting flight from LAX to Sydney. The next flight is not until the following night. I quickly jump online and find a flight that will get me to Sydney in time. It stops over in New Zealand which is a little annoying, but the real kicker is that it leaves from a different terminal, and check-in closes in 5 minutes. I am at least 15 minutes away, but I figure I have to try, so I take off in a panicked sprint. 

To my surprise, I get to the check-in desk, and it is still open. Gasping for air, I hand over my credit card and passport, “can I get a one-way ticket to Sydney please?” “You can Sir, but it will be $7,300, sorry there are only Business Class seats left.”

Is this a sign? I thought to myself. Am I just not supposed to surf this swell? I stood there for a minute thinking, “at least I tried, it just wasn't meant to be.” I noticed a sense of relief as all my fear and anxiety about surfing the right start to fade. 

“Here’s your boarding pass Sir.” The lady at the counter took my lack of response as a yes I wanted the ticket. She had committed me.  

I finally landed in Sydney where I had organized for my roommate to meet me at the airport with my surf gear. I had just enough time to run out and grab my board bag from him. “Thanks mate, my shout when I get home!” It was not until I was at the check-in counter and I opened the board bag to put something inside, that I realized he had packed the wrong boards! Seriously, can anything else go wrong?

I jump on my next flight and arrive in Perth at 10 pm. I meet up with my close friend and tow-in partner. He has organized a jetski for us to use and says that the photographers are already down the coast ready to go. We alternate driving through the night and arrive just as the sun starts to rise. We ready the Jet ski and head out into the ocean. Finally, after all that travel I am face to face with monster 20ft barrels.

I muster up as much energy and courage as possible and swing into my first wave, as it hit's the reef it grow's to the size of a four-story building and completely close's out. My exhausted, jet-lagged body could not deal with the vicious rag dolling. I feel my knee pop underwater, I know straight away I have torn something.

I should have listened to the signs!

I sat in the photographer's boat down and out and in pain. I cannot stop thinking about all the times I could have pulled the pin on the trip. 

I sat there for 2 hours as the waves got better and better and watched all the other surfers scoring. Finally, I could not stand it anymore. I tape up my knee as best I could. It was sore, but I figured its got to hold up for one more wave. 

That very next wave ended up being one of the best of my life. 

I ended up with a grade 2 ligament tear in my knee and was out of the water for the next six weeks. However, it was a small price to pay. That wave won me my third consecutive Oakley Big Wave Award and let to a sponsorship with Red Bull that I still have today.

I do not doubt that we all have intuitive knowledge and instincts that are valuable when faced with tough decisions but what I learned from this trip is to be very careful not to get confused between intuition and fear. Because when we are scared, our minds will rationalize every reason to turn and run in the opposite direction.