Sibling Wars & Office Drama: Why Competing for Resources Feels So Personal

There’s a special kind of agony that comes with hearing your kids fight—especially when the battle is over you.

“Mom! He got more time with you!”

“No fair! You always help her first!”

It’s gut-wrenching. You love them both endlessly. But in their eyes? Scarcity. A fixed supply of your attention, love, and energy—something they must compete for.

If you’ve ever worked in resource management, this scene probably sounds familiar. Two teams, both convinced they need the same person. Both escalating, hoping that if they just make enough noise, they’ll win. And you? Stuck in the middle, being pulled in different directions, knowing full well that no one will walk away fully satisfied.

So how do you fix it—at home or in the office? How do you manage competing priorities without making it feel like a zero-sum game?

1. Defuse the Emotion First

At home: When kids are fighting for your attention, they’re not just arguing about the thing—they’re expressing a deeper need. Acknowledge their feelings before jumping to solutions.

At work: When teams are fighting over resources, listen first. “I hear that this project is critical for you, and I understand why. Let’s talk about how we can make this work.” Sometimes, feeling heard is half the battle.

2. Shift from Competition to Collaboration

At home: Remind your kids that they’re not in a battle—there’s enough love to go around. Sometimes, even getting them involved in a shared activity together helps redirect that energy.

At work: Frame the problem as something we solve together. Instead of “Who gets the resource?” try, “How do we allocate resources in a way that supports both priorities?” Finding creative workarounds (job sharing, adjusted timelines) can make all the difference.

3. Teach (and Model) Negotiation Skills

At home: Kids need to learn that not every win is about grabbing the biggest piece of the pie—it’s about making sure everyone gets what they need. Let them see compromise in action.

At work: Help teams negotiate instead of compete. “If we prioritize this project now, what can we shift later?” Show them that give-and-take is a normal part of the process.

4. Make the Decision-Making Process Clear

At home: Sometimes kids just want to know why things are happening. When they understand that fairness isn’t always about equal time but about meeting needs, the tension eases.

At work: If people feel like resource allocation is arbitrary or political, resentment builds. Be transparent about how decisions are made, and people will be less likely to take it personally.

5. Remind Everyone (Including Yourself) That There’s Enough to Go Around

At home: Your love is not finite, and they need to hear that. Constantly.

At work: The truth is, resources are finite—but opportunities to collaborate, adjust, and support each other? Those are endless. The more we shift the mindset from “me vs. you” to “us together,” the less painful the process becomes.

The Bottom Line

Whether it’s kids fighting over your time or teams fighting over your best analyst, the emotions are real. But competition doesn’t have to be the default. When you create an environment where people feel seen, heard, and part of the solution, you stop the tug-of-war before it even begins.

And maybe—just maybe—you get a little peace and quiet along the way.

Christine Robinson is a Resource Management expert, Strategic Advisor, award-winning speaker, best selling author, and the mother/stepmother of six. Recognized as one of the top leaders in the Philadelphia Business Journal's 40 Under 40 List for her performance and community contributions, Christine is passionate about supporting women and underserved families. She holds an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.

The former Managing Director and Head of Resource Management at a top accounting and consulting firm, Christine has steered national teams, instituted firmwide functions, and established international joint ventures. As the visionary and Founder of Resource Management In The Wild, her mission is to empower professionals and organizations to successfully navigate resource allocation.

Like what you see here? Subscribe and browse my previous editions!