Sibling Rivalry

“The villain drives the plot.” – Gayle Lynds

Years ago comedian Jeff Foxworthy had a bit in his comedy routine about NASCAR.

He said, "Every NASCAR fan has that one driver they LOVE and that one driver they HATE."

At the time this was part of Foxworthy’s show, the two drivers that were most loved or hated were Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt.

When Gordon became a driver in the NASCAR Cup Series, Earnhardt was already an established star. And, though he was viewed by some as a villain for the unapologetically tough way he drove, he had legions of fans because he won a lot!

Seemingly out of nowhere, Gordon comes along and starts winning races immediately. Not only was he beating the rest of the field, he was beating Earnhardt; the driver known as The Intimidator.

At first, Earnhardt was incredulous and did everything he could to put ‘the kid’ in his place and remind him who Ruled the Roost in that sport.

But, Gordon kept winning.

There were many things about the two of them that made them natural rivals.

In many ways, they were opposites.

• Earnhardt was from Kannapolis, North Carolina. So, he spoke like a good-ole-boy.
• Gordon was from Southern California. ?And, as Foxworthy joked in his bit, one of the reasons so many NASCAR fans hated him was that ‘he enunciated’ his words. ??

Watch the Foxworthy bit below.

• Gordon was green and Earnhardt was seasoned.
• And, much more.

Btw, there’s an object lesson here. Just because someone speaks with a good-ole-boy accent doesn’t mean they don’t understand people and aren’t business savvy.

Earnhardt realized what many in sports, entertainment and politics have understood for a long time.

You can’t be a hero if there is no villain.

Earnhardt recognized that there was LOTS of money to be made from merchandise sales. If people hated your rival, they would buy more of YOUR merchandise to publicly demonstrate whose side they were on.

So, even though their on-track rivalry was completely legitimate and they did all they could to beat one another there, he and Gordon collaborated off-track on feeding their rivalry. And, as a result, both of them sold massive amounts of merchandise.

The Raiders of the National Football League have mastered this, too. They understand some people will hate their 'just win baby' (by any means) reputation. But they have legions of fans nationwide.

Steve Jobs did this, too, only the opposite. He positioned Apple as the good guys to IBM’s bad guys. He understood that people who saw themselves as the kind of person who bucked the status quo would be inclined to purchase an Apple product.

One of the most iconic commercials of all-time is the 1984 ad Apple ran during the Super Bowl of that year. Without saying their name, it demonized IBM and, positioned Apple as the savior.

Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker

Harry Potter vs Voldemort

Rivalries and having people choose sides feeds into human nature. Understanding this has made Vince McMahon of WWE fame a multi-billionaire.

So, how can YOU utilize this in your business?

• Can you position yourself as the good vs. evil? Or, vice-versa?
• Can you follow the example of Earnhardt and Gordon and collaborate with a competitor?
• In what ways might you capitalize on that rivalry?
• Could you do interviews together?
• Make public appearances together?
• Can you sell merchandise that lets people proudly proclaim who they are for?

This might not be a strategy that is for you. And, that is okay.

But, understand that people LOVE to pick sides. It gives them a rooting interest; something to identify with and be part of.

In that way, it makes them feel important. And, if you can make people feel important, you have done something that matters.?

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Expert Tip

This week's Expert Tip is quite different and quite an emotional topic. But, I am glad this week's contributor Cynthia Soares-Harfoush had the courage to share it here as I believe it will make a positive difference for many.

A Difficult Reality

Almost every newly married couple looks forward to that positive pregnancy test, that first ultrasound image, that thud-thud sound of their baby’s heartbeat.

I had wanted to be a mother for as long as I could remember –

And so when I learned I was pregnant, inspite of the “all-day sickness” that came with it, I was ecstatic!

It never occurred to me that my pregnancy could not be ‘viable’ or that it was even possible for a baby not to ‘have a heartbeat.’

Why?

Because we do not talk about these things!

As women, we are conditioned to believe that our bodies are especially designed to carry children.

It therefore comes as a shocker when we fail to do so!

And because of the feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy that start to ferment, we then hide our ‘miscarriage’ like a stain;

At least I did.

The reality is, 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.

I didn’t know this because no one talks about it – no one told me it was normal.

Instead they said “it’s okay! You’re young; you can try again” – they spoke of my loss like I’d lost a handbag or a piece of clothing, instead of a much wanted and already-loved, baby.

When I went back to work a weekend after my D&C, I noticed people whispering as they saw me come up to them – they simply didn’t know what to say, or how to react.

In my desire to pretend I was okay, they went along with me and it was 'business as usual'...except it wasn't.

My body that had carried a baby for 11 weeks had not received that memo.

I was numb, my emotions were all over the place and I was so easily triggered.

Eventually, the silent depression led to me quit my job.

Later, many people told me that they didn’t know what to say:

Here’s what I wish they’d said: “I have no idea what you’re going through right now, but I am here for you, and for anything you need – please talk to me.”

If you want to support someone who is going through a miscarriage, simply offer to sit with them. Be present- to sit in silence, to let them cry, or to hear them speak.

Acknowledge their loss, and what they may be feeling.

Never trivialize things by saying “at least you can try again” or “it wasn’t means to be” or “you’re young, you have your life ahead of you”, or “time will heal you.”

It has been almost nine years since I miscarried - time DOES NOT heal.

What heals, is being able to talk about it – to receive, and lend support to others.

To know, that we are not alone.

If you are an angel mum, know that I see you.

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Cindy has compiled a list of support services for folks who are dealing with this. If you know someone who needs these, please reach out to Cindy or me.

Connect with / follow Cindy via her profile here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/cynthiaharfoush/

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About?Bob Sager

The Founder of?SpearPoint Solutions, Bob’s professional background includes over three decades of experience in sales, leadership and training. Combined with creative thinking, he uses that experience to develop business strategies that help organizations increase sales and margins. Additionally, Bob facilitates training on methods of thinking more creatively that organizations can practically apply to all aspects of their business so they can thrive in the modern?economy.?