Shyness is absolutely normal

Shyness is not ABNORMAL

?20+ participants, almost all in their early twenties. Some of them were asked to speak a few words.

One young guy got so nervous that he refused to speak on the microphone even after persuasion.

This write-up is an effort to throw some light on such situations when some feel shy and get panicky while speaking in public.

Do you too feel shy to hold the microphone and come on stage?

Does your vision get blurred, legs start trembling when you are asked to address a gathering?

Relax.

It’s perfectly all right.

Shyness is not abnormal.

I have been facing this problem since my childhood.

Many bigwigs have passed through this phase in life.

Nervousness in public speaking happens due to several reasons-

·??????One’s basic nature as gifted by superpower

·??????Fear of being a laughing stock

·??????Not being confident of what you say and so on.

·??????No preparation on the topic

Fact of the matter is, quite often we are plagued by imposter syndrome.

You may be perfect when you talk in front of the mirror at home but nervousness takes its toll while expressing the same words before a gathering.

Whenever I walk towards the stage to deliberate, my heartbeat starts racing, forehead gets pearls of sweat and my legs tremble like a weak stem. Even when the audience consists of amateurs and I have command over what I have to say, this happens.

I feel tongue-tied.

This is a natural phenomenon.

And it always reminds me of Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography -“My Experiments with Truth.”

Chapter ‘Shyness My Shield’ explains it all.

Some excerpts from the period when he was in London:

1.?“I was elected to the Executive Committee of the Vegetarian Society, and made it a point to attend every one of its meetings, but I always felt tongue-tied. Dr. Oldfield once said to me, 'You talk to me quite all right, but why is it that you never open your lips at a committee meeting? You are a drone.' I appreciated the banter. The bees are ever busy, the drone is a thorough idler. And it was not a little curious that whilst others expressed their opinions at these meetings, I sat quite silent. Not that I never felt tempted to speak. But I was at a loss to know how to express myself. All the rest of the members appeared to me to be better informed than I.”

This is a clear cut example of lack of self-confidence when our knowledge of the subject is limited. It is difficult to speak ex-tempore.

The solution lies in getting prepared beforehand.

2.???This shyness I retained throughout my stay in England. Even when I paid a social call the presence of half a dozen or more people would strike me dumb.

This is purely because of one’s basic nature and shyness.

3.???I once went to Ventnor with Sjt. Mazmudar. We stayed there with a vegetarian family. Mr. Howard, the author of?The Ethics of Diet, was also staying at the same watering place. We met him, and he invited us to speak at a meeting for the promotion of vegetarianism. I had ascertained that it was not considered incorrect to read one's speech. I knew that many did so to express themselves coherently and briefly. To speak?ex tempore?would have been out of the question for me. I had therefore written down my speech. I stood up to read it, but could not. My vision became blurred and I trembled, though the speech hardly covered a sheet of foolscap. Sjt. Mazmudar had to read it for me. His own speech was of course excellent and was received with applause. I was ashamed of myself and sad at heart for my incapacity.

?4.???“My last effort to make a public speech in England was on the eve of my departure for home. But this time too I only succeeded in making myself ridiculous. I invited my vegetarian friends to dinner in the Holborn Restaurant referred to in these chapters. 'A vegetarian dinner could be had,' I said to myself, 'in vegetarian restaurants as a matter of course. But why should it not be possible in a non-vegetarian restaurant too?' And I arranged with the manager of the Holborn Restaurant to provide a strictly vegetarian meal. The vegetarians hailed the new experiment with delight. All dinners are meant for enjoyment, but the West has developed the thing into an art. They are celebrated with great éclat, music and speeches. And the little dinner party that I gave was also not unaccompanied by some such display. Speeches, therefore, there had to be. When my turn for speaking came, I stood up to make a speech. I had with great care thought out one which would consist of a very few sentences. But I could not proceed beyond the first sentence. I had read of Addison that he began his maiden speech in the House of Commons, repeating 'I conceive' three times, and when he could proceed no further, a wag stood up and said, 'The gentleman conceived thrice but brought forth nothing.' I had thought of making a humorous speech taking this anecdote as the text. I therefore began with it and stuck there. My memory entirely failed me and in attempting a humorous speech I made myself ridiculous. I thank you, gentlemen, for having kindly responded to my invitation,' I said abruptly, and sat down.”

?This one is quite interesting and I make it a point to quote Addison’s episode while commencing my deliberations. It has always helped me as people laugh at the ‘I Conceive…..’ example, which makes the atmosphere relaxed for me to continue.

Nevertheless, shyness is not a crime. To be man of few words may be a boon as one can say or express much more with limited vocabulary and also blessed with not saying any bad words.

If you are shy to speak, express it through writing.

Someone else can read out your message.

It is a great skill and art to express yourself directly though and undoubtedly the best practice.

Shyness is not abnormal but overcome it anyways.

Let people laugh, make faces or comment.

You will get elated every time to a new you!