Shut Up & Listen

I wanted to touch upon a simple overlooked skill that can make or break an individual's success, LISTENING. The great Sir Richard Branson once said "No-one ever learned anything listening to themselves". This quote is something I am trying to live close to.

We all crave a sense of importance and all of us want to put our two cents in about our opinion and why we are right and why others should conform to that. We are so caught up in our own beliefs and opinions that we lose sight of what we can learn from an opposing angle or perspective.

A wise man once said "you can lose an argument, or you can win, which means you lose". What this means is you are either right or wrong in the argument but if you are right, your triumph will come at the cost of the opposing party's pride or self-esteem, therefore you lose.

We all want other people to enjoy their time with us; who would you rather spend time with? The person who is constantly opposing your opinion and proving you wrong, or the person who is trying their best to listen to your perspective and understand it whilst also putting forward their thoughts as an idea, that's a no brainer right? We all want to be around people who try to understand us and give us a sense of importance even if their opinion or thoughts may differ. Even if their ideas oppose ours we are far more likely to consider them and try to understand them if they have reciprocated the act with us beforehand.

This is why you must always shut up and listen. Stop interrupting, stop searching for the perfect argument whilst people are still talking and intentively listen. It is better to listen perfectly than to reply to someone smartly, that way you can fully understand their point of view before you share your own.

This is very new information to me, such a straight forward concept but something I've never really concentrated on improving. I have realized faults in the way I handle conversations since stumbling across this theory and I am constantly trying to alter my wrongdoings in my day-to-day confrontations.

This can be used from friendships, relationships, and business. Imagine you are receiving a complaint from a customer and rather than repeating the company policies in your head as they share their concern with you, you actually listen to them with content and show them a big sign of importance. You then repeat back to them the complaint and you let them know that you totally understand their viewpoint and how they feel mistreated. Then you share with them the company policies and how they work but also let them know that you will see what you can do for them. Instead of jumping straight to "you're wrong" and pointing the finger you have given the customer the time of day to really understand their perspective and given them a sense of importance then you have shared your side of the argument before trying to find a solution. This is definitely going to result in a better experience for both the customer and the employee, therefore creating a great brand image for the company.

When you're wrong, admit you're wrong. There is nothing more powerful than admitting your wrongdoings. I don't know if you have ever done something or said something that you know is wrong and then still tried to act like you were right. I'm pretty sure we have all been that person before right? Have you ever known you're wrong and admitted it though? I know that I have countless amounts of times since being a grown-up. Trust me, when you admit you are wrong the other person has no other choice but to defend you if they want to upkeep their pride and self-esteem, whereas if you try to defend yourself the other party will accuse and contradict your faults. The moral of this is swallow your pride and take accountability.

Always remember that no matter if you are the smartest or the least qualified in the room you should always listen more than you speak that's why you have two ears and only one mouth. The person who constantly talks is the person who stays still. The person who listens is the person who learns, and the person who learns is the person that progress'.