Shut the F--- Up !

If you’ve never gone to court as an attorney to argue a case, defend, or prosecute your client’s business documents, you don’t know a darn thing.

I see this often, and it gives me the same feeling as fingernails slowly dragged across a blackboard.

Some lawyers submit multiple drafts of business deals, trying to wordsmith, creep around, and use ambiguity and obfuscation as a tactic in itself—to obscure the clear intent of the agreement’s purpose in hopes of gaining an advantage in litigation. It won’t work.

Any judge who has been on the bench for more than a week knows exactly what you’re up to. Your clever wordplay is meaningless in the face of judicial authority. Your biggest offense might be irresponsibly wasting the court’s resources, with little regard for the judge’s duty to ensure judicial efficiency.

What the court wants in business disputes is a clear and enforceable obligation—something that may or may not have been breached. By submitting a convoluted, overlong contract draft that some desk lawyer thought was clever, you’ve cost your client real money, ignored your ethical responsibilities, irritated the trial judge, and ultimately failed at your job.

Be brief, be concise, and get out of the way.