Sh*t I’d Tell My 21 Year Old Self: vol.03

When I look back at my 21 year old self, I see someone full of energy and ambition but without the wisdom that only time and experience can bring. If I could sit down with the younger me, I’d drop some nuggets of advice inspired by legends—leaders who have disrupted industries, commanded armies, and dominated sports. In round 03, I’d share lessons from Mark Randolph, General Norman Schwarzkopf, and the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team. Let’s dig into vol.03 of Sh*t I’d Tell My 21 Year Old Self……………

18. Find The Pain

The conversation with Mark Randolph, the co-founder of Netflix, while producing a corporate meeting in 2018 was eye opening.? You had the opportunity to dialogue with him 1-1 just before he went on the main conference stage.? The premise of his presentation and the foundation for which Netflix is built is something simple yet profound: “Find the pain.” At first, it sounds dramatic, however it’s genius in its simplicity. Success often lies in solving a problem—one that’s causing pain for people. This applies not only to business but to every area of life.

When connecting with someone, ask yourself: What’s their pain point? What’s keeping them up at night? The more you understand where someone’s struggle lies, the better you can help, serve, or lead. It’s empathy in action and the foundation for which great companies and the strongest relationships are built.

Don’t go causing problems, however, don’t shy away from them. Whether it’s a tricky relationship, a tough project, or a career decision, dig into the heart of what’s wrong. Fixing the pain won’t just earn you respect; it’ll make you invaluable. People will remember the person who made their lives easier, who solved the thing that no one else could—or would. Find the pain and solve for it. That’s your lane. Stay in it.

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19. When Placed in Command, Take Charge

In 2005, you met one of the greatest leaders of our time. General Norman Schwarzkopf didn’t mince words. He famously said, “When placed in command, take charge.” That’s the kind of advice that makes your heart race because it’s bold and to the point.

Here’s the thing, 21-year-old me: You won’t always feel ready for the roles you step into. Leadership isn’t about being 100% prepared—it’s about being willing. When life hands you responsibility, step into it. Command isn’t just about authority; it’s about accountability, clarity, and action.

Taking charge doesn’t mean you always have to have all the answers. It means you’re willing to make decisions, even when they’re hard. It means showing confidence, even when you’re uncertain. And it means owning the outcome, whether it’s a smashing success or a colossal failure.

You might not always be placed in command either. Sometimes, you’ll have to claim it. When the moment calls for leadership, rise to it. Waiting for permission often means the opportunity passes by. Step up and take charge.

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20. Sweep The Sheds

A beautiful soul directed you to an amazing book by James Kerr called Legacy. Legacy is about the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team who are arguably the most successful sports team in history. They have a lifetime winning percentage of 77%. Their secret? They live by 15 lessons, one of which is beautifully simple: “Sweep the sheds.”

After every game, no matter the score or how much blood, sweat, and tears they’ve left on the field, team members clean up their locker room themselves. They don’t wait for someone else to do it. Why? Because “We’re never too big to do the small things that need to be done.”

Here’s the deal: Life isn’t about flashy titles or grand gestures. The little things matter. Taking ownership of the mundane tasks shows humility, integrity, and respect—for yourself and for others.

Whether it’s picking up trash after a meeting, writing a thank-you note, or showing up on time, these small actions build trust and demonstrate character. People notice when you’re willing to do the work, no matter how unglamorous it might be.

Don’t be afraid to roll up your sleeves. Leaders who sweep the sheds earn respect because they lead by example. And when you’re in the trenches, doing the small things with pride, you inspire others to do the same.

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So, there you have it. The top 20 nuggets are now in the world. Lessons inspired by some of the greats, distilled into truths I wish I’d known at 21. It’s not about the big wins—it’s about how you show up, every single day, in the small and significant ways that matter most.

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