Showing vulnerabilities

Hi everyone, I have dragged the article meant for April. It has become like an old magazine that gets published 15th day of next month ??. Thanks to some travel and general lethargy.

Talking of lethargy, I do like reflect on my weaknesses from time to time. I may not act upon it all the time, but I do try to remain conscious.

And that took me to today’s topic. Showing that one is vulnerable.

Being Human

For a good part of my childhood, I did reasonably well at studies and was considered an obedient student. A good part of the “obedience” came not due to confidence in my own self but from the “fear” of making a mistake.

Though I have tried to be level-headed most of the time, the few times I have actually made a mistake is when I felt really “exposed” or “vulnerable”.

Due to this, my personality has evolved into something who would appear under-confident and tentative, at least initially. In the world biased by first impressions and instant actions, it is always a handicap.

Decades later came across the Dunning Kruger Effect which seems to explain my tentativeness to an extent. The Effect says when we know less, we tend to be more confident; when we know more, we realise we do not know a lot more and tend to be circumspect. And then regaining confidence as the level of expertise increases??

The shield

While showing our vulnerabilities does make us “look” weak, but it does have its advantages.

As all of us deep down have our insecurities and challenges, showing our vulnerabilities ironically might make us more relatable. That feeling of “He/she is just like me”. If conveyed in the right manner, it makes us appear more transparent and humane.

For example, a CEO could have an image of the picture-perfect person who could do no wrong. It works well when the going is good, but if the company fails for some reason. The same person could be perceived as arrogant and living in an ivory tower. While a CEO who understands his/her strengths and weaknesses better can create a more collaborative atmosphere. The rest of the team would feel engaged, feel that they are adding value and fill in where the CEO may not be the expert.

Being Macho might make the person appear invincible, but it could be a brittle like wood. It can take pressure to some extent without losing shape but completely breaks down after that. Showing our humane self could be like metal, keeps bending slowly but never breaks down.

The unarmed victor

“Nirayudhapaani” means “arms without weapons”, an unarmed person. Sometimes the best way to fight a person is to go unarmed and completely surrender. This theme is very elegantly used in two narratives (Krishna Arjuna Yuddham and Rama Anjaneya Yuddham) where Arjuna/Anjaneya fight Krishna/Rama by laying down their arms and bowing to the opponent. Their sheer devotion becomes their shield! ??

The Takeaways

Showing our vulnerabilities might make us appear “weak” but it does have its advantages.

It helps us become more relatable and builds empathy. It also can build synergy as we will be able complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

It can help transform an interaction from fighting a person to bringing the person to your fight. ??

In this seemingly competitive world, a lost mark or a job missed might seem like the end of it all. If we succeed it is great. If we don’t, it is still fine, there is a great journey ahead still awaiting you. Being able to accept both the results might be a success in itself! ??