Showing Up (even when it's hard)

Over the last several weeks, I have been in dozens of conversations, 1:1s, and career planning sessions that have included the following sentiment: “I feel like I’m working twice as hard right now and accomplishing similar results. I’m exhausted!”?

Showing up every day, even when it’s hard, is an often-undervalued achievement. Especially in the moment. Showing up as our best each day means that we can overcome the lack of motivation that sometimes exists. Showing up as our best each day means that we can put aside the convenience of simply attending, and instead bring our consciousness, our experience, and our creativity to each moment. Showing up as our best each day means we bring our empathy, compassion, and our care into each interaction. Showing up as our best each day means we are fully present.

But in every moment of our lives, we have conflict that is hard to navigate. Coming home to our families, loved ones, and friends who are hungry for all our attention is hard when we are preoccupied with work stress or other items on our minds. Being fully present at work is difficult when we are consumed by the needs of our families, loved ones, and friends. It can feel like we always need to be multiple places at once! And these are just 2 common challenges to being fully present and showing up as our best – there are dozens!

So, when things are so hard, complicated, and conflicted; when our energy is short, our emotions are taxed, and our patience is seemingly hitting its limits – How do we show up as our best? Here are a few things I’m learning as I try and navigate these same challenges:

Remembering our “why”

Whenever I am lacking the motivation, energy, patience, or ambition to do what’s needed, I consciously try and connect that next thing to my “why”. While the “why” varies item by item, the connection of all those things to my overall purpose is consistent. But when I lose track of why I am committing myself to something, or upholding that commitment, I’m almost always losing track of how it connects to the purpose I feel deep inside. Once I talk that through in my head and reconnect the dots, the motivation, ambition, and care return quickly.

Appreciate a good routine

Just the word “routine” conjures images and sentiments that are boring. But as with many things in life, the boring, small, and uninteresting details are what add together to form the exciting, memorable, and exhilarating moments. I personally, feel at my best when I have “my house in order.” This is my literal home and its tidiness, but it’s also when the cars are clean and fueled up. When my wife and I are living in-sync with each other’s needs. When I have spent the time to prepare for the day intentionally. And let’s not forget the value in getting ready for the day and dressed in a way that feels good. I have come to appreciate these things for the way they make me feel subconsciously far more than what many of them represent alone.

Tackle Small, successive wins

The above 2 areas are great philosophically and in practice, I find they make a huge difference in my ability to show up fully in all the moments each day I encounter. But the one that is the most tactical, sometimes is the most needed. We all have those moments that we need to successfully navigate and be fully present for, that simply seem daunting. Maybe it’s cleaning out a closet or it could be a big meeting. Either way, motivation (and ultimately procrastination) often occurs when we are overtaken by the size and complexity of a task, rather than our actual desire to complete it. We can hack this feeling by sectioning each item into smaller bite-sized items that are easy won. In that meeting, show up with a great set of introductions and agenda. Then move onto leading the discussion, then finish strong with the alignment on expectations and commitments. If it’s tidying a closet, focus first on the top shelf or the floor, then move to the stuff in between, 1 at a time. Big wins are always composed of many small wins ???

As we all proceed along our path to success and excellence, however we each define it; we will encounter times that feel extra-challenging. It’s how we respond (not react) to those extra-challenging times that will play a big part in defining our path to victory. Showing up all the way, all the time, is incredibly hard.

But we can do it!!!

I'd love to hear how all of you are finding ways to show up, even when it's hard. Leave your ideas and suggestions for others in the comments!