Showing Up

There is a lot going on. Everywhere we turn we can see pain, sadness, and darkness. These adjectives also exist in places on the surface we may not see, but they are there, found when we dig deeper. If we have compassion, our feelings of empathy can become paralyzing. I know I do not have all the answers. As a person of faith, I do lean into the hope that exists, but often we are left with very little words to comfort those around us that are experiencing tremendous hardship.

As I reflected on what I wanted to share this month, what kept coming to mind is the importance of showing up for others. We may not individually be able to control the outcome of what is happening to or within someone, or be able to help them mitigate it in the future, but we can step up to be there for them. Often this requires:

1. Looking outward from ourselves – how easy is it to get caught up in our own burdens. We all have them, and they are real, but when we stay in our “bubble” it is hard to truly realize what others are experiencing. When we authentically look outside of ourselves, we create an opportunity to feel compelled to serve despite our own challenges.
2. Proactively reaching out – when we identify someone that may be hurting, proactively reaching out can mean the world. As stated, there may not be words that can comfort or remove the pain, but the act of outreach can we show we care.
3. Asking questions and actively listen – in a past article I have shared the power of a follow up question when someone says they are “OK” (why just OK?), but in general patiently asking questions that dig deeper enables others to open up. In this vulnerability we can listen, really listen, and affirm their feelings are valid and real. If they are hesitant or choose not to share, at least they had the opportunity to do so – something that could be scarce in their life.

From these three steps we can increase our awareness to how we can help. Merely listening and demonstrating concern could be the result, but there may also be action we can take to aid the other person. We look to them for guidance on what this may be, offering proactive support or recommendations if we feel called but respecting their response to that offer.

We cannot control everything around us, but we can control our decision to show up for others. In my experience when I make this choice, I uncover meaningful opportunities to serve and support. For me, this is what life is all about.

What other advice do you have to create opportunities to show up for others?