Showing up (can be scary)

People often ask me if I've got some professional help for what I write on LinkedIn , and what my content strategy is. The genuine truth is that I do not have a ghostwriter, and I simply write when I feel like it. Sometimes, weeks go by without a single word written. Other times (this week!) I can't seem to stop. This admission seems to have resonated with many of you, and even got some of you thinking about writing (or picking up the phone to record a video!) again. As a part of that, you also shared with me why you haven't done more so far. And I love and appreciate that very much. We are ultimately social creatures, constantly observing and assessing the cultural cues and social norms around us. Depending on what signals you pick up, these cues and norms can open you up to many new and different kinds of experiences, but also, they can be quite oppressive and overwhelming. Is this OK for me to say? What do I even have to offer on this topic? What will so-and-so think of this when they see it? Worse yet, what if no one even reads what I write? There's a lot of fear and anxiety weighing down your choice to not to say or do something, especially at work, and as a result, here on LinkedIn, too, where the context is the best yet the scariest thing for many of us.

Here are some top reasons I hear from people when I ask them what might be stopping them from writing or sharing more:

"I don't have anything to contribute."

Are you sure? You really just might have something to say! You don't need to be 30 years into your career or a certified and recognized expert in your field to have a point-of-view or snippets about the work you do. There's knowledge, but there's also the know-how. I think about the former as a set of information or skills one can learn from a more formal manner, such as schools, courses, business books, on the job training, etc. The latter is about your lived experience at work and working through your career. It's the application of the knowledge in workplaces where the people part of the work teaches you something about how to get the work done. We've got stories and insights about that part, no matter how early or well into your career you are. You can't learn about these from textbooks or corporate trainings. The value of learning from other people's stories is infinite, and yet, it's hard to find them because talking about hard things is uncomfortable (and most good lessons come from having lived through some hard stuff). That's why know-how often gets passed around like some sort of urban legend or a secret family recipe. But the best part of know-how is that they are essentially behind-the-scenes stories, a director's cut. And who doesn't love a good peek at a moment or a day in the life of how other people get their work done?

"I don't have the time."

Yeah, me neither. And when you put that next to my tendency to overthink in life, no word was ever going to escape my brain and make its way to paper or digital surface of any sort. So I started small by looking at what other people were writing and commenting on them. Commenting on someone else's writing is really about sparking a connection. When I read something that I find interesting or helpful, I go ahead and just say that, and why. That's it. Sometimes that leads to a bit of a back-and-forth about the topic, and I've "met" a lot of new people that way on LinkedIn, in and outside of my specific line of work. My other favorite activity is to put a note on someone's post where they seem to be at a moment in need of support or celebration because of work-related events or milestones. Is that comment going to win you some kind of recognition or award? Maybe not. But it's an easy way to show someone (whether you already know them or not) that you see them and you care. Spending a few minutes of my day in these ways eventually gave me some ideas about what I might like to talk about in my own way, which turned into this newsletter.

"I'm scared I might mess up in front of my colleagues."

Me, too. In fact, LinkedIn is the only place where ALL of my old classmates, bosses and teammates are ALL HERE together with my CURRENT bosses and teammates, plus who knows, a WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE who are probably going to matter in my career in some shape or form (*cue blood curdling scream, runs*)??! If messing up at work is already a part of the general fear and anxiety we all carry with us, the possibility of putting one's foot in mouth in front of ALL OF THEM (*wildly gesticulates with both hands*) is simply frightening. But think about it this way. All of your old and current and future classmates, bosses, teammates are here. All of those people who will matter in your career, opening doors and imagining possibilities beyond what you are capable of dreaming for yourself, they are here, even if you haven't met them. What I've found over the years is that until I was crystal clear, consistent, and explicit about who I am, what I'm about, what I am looking for, and where I needed help with, no one could really help me effectively despite all of the collective wealth of knowledge, know-how, the network, and their influence. I needed to find myself first and show up clearly and loudly. In fact, doing that with consistency and integrity helped me avoid bad situations and fits as much as it helped me find the right jobs and opportunities. I recognize that not everyone is going to agree with what I say (but isn't that simply...life?). What I can control and receive in return is how I say what I say, and why.

As is always the case, the why matters the most here. Why do you want to write, or say something about the work you do or what you've learned? Some people try to encourage themselves or others about showing up on LinkedIn as a way to get straight to the outcomes (better personal brand, jobs, network, you name it) as the sole motivation. Many do end up getting to those results by putting themselves out there, because let's be honest, we are all here (at work and on LinkedIn) to make something of our work and careers and make the most of it. But those "rewards" alone were never enough for me to get over my fear and anxiety (see all of the above). What really got me to start sharing my writing was, well, I enjoy it very much, and doing this for myself made it less scary. Then, I started to hear from people near and far, in both time and distance, that something I said meant something to them. Specifically, the three pieces of feedback I've found especially helpful and encouraging are that (a) people see their own words and experiences mirrored in mine even if they might never say it out loudly (b) something I've shared made them think differently about their own situation (c) they appreciate seeing an "executive (I still giggle a bit when referring to myself as such)" who is also being "real." There's no greater gift than feeling like people see me for who I am, and that they want to hear more about it.

There are, of course, days that I simply don't have the energy, time, or ideas to write, and as an introvert, I just want to go hide under the blanket (see photographic evidence above). But I'll always come back, whether that's days or weeks later, because I've found my own joy in this, and maybe my stories can help someone else out there, too.