Show Up and Show Off, Often

Let me begin by saying that I fully enjoy embracing the experience of living a life led by humility. Humility is a fantastic, necessary and well, a more-than-ever needed attribute that builds our character and our integrity at the time that it is built by our actions and thoughts. So, humility is good! It is an internal compass that very often helps us find the way when we are lost. And by lost I mean when we become too sure and comfortable with what we think is the truth, or rather, our assumptions and preconceptions.

There are not too many problems with humility. Probably just one... And it is that sometimes humility is confused with thinking less about ourselves, and that, in turn, becomes a major roadblock in our lives. Particularly, that roadblock represents a huge challenge when we set out on the journey to become what we want to become, or achieve what we want to achieve. When in the name of humility we let baffling thoughts come to our minds and tell us that we can’t do something, or that we are not good enough, or that we don’t deserve something, or that we can’t become what our passions and dreams want us to be, then it is time for a fundamental overhaul of our thinking process.

I was recently organizing a series of talks about innovation and creativity. There is a very dear friend for whom I have enormous affection and respect. In my opinion, she is the epitome of hard work, with a magnificent friendly attitude to help anyone who comes across her way. She is inspiring. And so, I invited her to be one of my guest speakers. When I proposed this to her, she answered: “I don’t know if I am good enough to do that. I mean, I’m not sure that I have something to say”. This was the second time I had this experience with her, when she was putting herself down, undermining her own confidence and value, and diminishing her self-worth. And I decided to do something about it.

I invited her for lunch and told her my thoughts. "If I am inviting you to be my guest speaker ", I said, "it is because I see the potential and strengths in you to do so".

I knew that she had a great story and message to share. And I didn’t want to keep it all for myself, but to share it with other people. I asked her to think about her confidence and her value. I know my friend considers humility to be a paramount value in her life. Nevertheless, I told her that humility is never in conflict with our potential. To put it bluntly, I told her that she needed to show up and show off, and often.

Showing up and showing off are not the enemies of humility. Pretension, pride and arrogance are.  C.S. Lewis said that “true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” Humility doesn’t need to be the type of self-talk (the things that you say to yourself) that decreases our value and experience. Rather, it is there to remind us that even when we have that value and experience, we shouldn’t take it for granted (or as absolute truth). That we shouldn't show off pride, but rather be open-minded to learn and accept our own limitations. Humility doesn't exist to exacerbate those limitations. 

Showing up means giving ourselves an opportunity to embrace the challenges that come into our lives, regardless of their form (an invitation to speak at an event, a pitch to investors, a request for a promotion or salary increase, or any other form). Showing off in a non-pretentious and non-prideful way means showcasing the things that we have learned that could benefit others. Sometimes showing off is selling ourselves to potential employers, but in other instances it means asking tough questions or posing the kinds of challenges that invite us to think in a different way about our beliefs and assumptions. A true sign of strength is accepting our own limitations. But also, a true sign of personal potential is understanding our strengths, building them up in order to achieve or become what we dream and are passionate about.

My friend went on to participate as a speaker at the event. She did a great job talking about selfless service, how important it is to serve others and why giving is way more beneficial than receiving.

With humility as our compass, and not as a deterrent, let’s work more in our potential by showing up and showing off, often.

Some recommendations to keep in mind:

• Believe in yourself: even when nobody else does, or when the circumstances are too challenging. If you are in the path of the things you are good at and passionate about, then it will be a matter of time to become or achieve that “something”.
• Stay off the wrong limitations: unfortunately, our culture is one that makes think that we need to work on our “weaknesses” to be better and achieve more. Only if those limitations are on the way of the things you love should you work on them. If you want to become the best rock singer, but you are terrible at kicking a ball in soccer match, should you work on that “kicking weakness”?
• Strengthen your strengths: your strengths are your very good friends. They are the reasons why you attract people. Show up those strengths and everyday become a better version of yourself building upon those strengths.
• Keep humility as a compass, not a deterrent: don’t undermine your own confidence and value by thinking that it is the humble thing to do. Pretentiousness and arrogance are the enemy of humility. Building your potential by showing up and showing off go hand in hand with humility.

“Acknowledge and appreciate these efforts, and give yourself a pat on the back for what you did right. This is absolutely essential for self-encouragement. It’s not enough to merely unhook from all our harsh criticisms and self-judgments; we need to actively appreciate our efforts, especially when we fail to achieve our goals. Each time we do this, we are learning how to be an effective coach. Ineffective coaches focus only on what went wrong, and do so in a harsh, judgmental manner. Effective coaches first acknowledge and appreciate what went right—and then, in a respectful, nonjudgmental manner, they acknowledge what went wrong and turn it into a useful learning experience.” ― Russ Harris, The Confidence Gap

Follow me on Twitter: @erubio_p
Visit my blog: www.innovationdev.org

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About the Author: Enrique Rubio is an Electronic Engineer and a Fulbright scholar with an Executive Master’s Degree in Public Administration from Syracuse University. Enrique is passionate about leadership, business and social entrepreneurship, curiosity, creativity and innovation. He is a blogger and podcaster, and also a competitive ultrarunner. Visit the blog: Innovation for Development and Podcast. Click here to follow Enrique on Twitter. 

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