Let's talk about showing up for others.
There are whole books and websites and online learning courses about how to put some shine on yourself and show up well in your professional life. Your professional presence makes a huge difference in your career development and opportunities that come your way. And we love that for you.
Included in that professional presence effort is how you show up for others. This doesn't mean your physical appearance, but rather, think about it like a sub category of your efforts to exude leadership qualities and executive presence. How you show up in service to others is one of the most defining ways to build strong professional relationships which can help you advance your career.
So what are the best ways to show up and be of service without turning yourself into either a micromanager or a pushover?
Showing up for others is not really doing things for them but the focus is the impression of support that you make with others and the good will feeling you leave them. And honestly, you can't really fake that. The collective we, are savvy to the fakers, and we can sniff it out and we are repulsed by it. So instead of using your energy on frivolous compliments or fake laughter, use your efforts to align with your own values in order to build authentic good will and joy.
When I decided to approach my work relationships based on my values, everything changed for me. By centering my actions on these values, I stay true to myself. When these actions resonate with a colleague, the relationship is that is forged is authentic and truly meaningful. Those meaningful relationships improve my mood and support positive emotions which affects my success at work.
In the last few weeks, I've talked a lot about joy at work and the benefits of using a value based approach to share joyful moments in your relationships with colleagues and work friends. Last week, I shared 3 ideas on how to spread joy through laughter, help and follow through. This week, as we think about being of service to others, let's discuss 3 more values that are fundamental to building joy at work.
- Being Responsive.I am often puzzled at folks who don't respond or acknowledge Slacks or emails from co-workers. I mean I know, I know you are ~just so busy~. SOOOOO BUSY. Eye roll emoji. Join the club and give me a break. A simple acknowledgment goes a long way in building good will. Even if it's a quick - "got it, will get back to you soon" or even a thumbs up emoji. There's no excuse for not acknowledging a message from your co-worker, regardless of their seniority. My grace period is 48 hours if I am not on PTO but I hardly let messages slip by that even that long. If you are purposely not being responsive because you want other people to think you are busy and powerful, you are not winning. You are just being silly and unproductive. If you really are that busy then set people's expectations appropriately. Create an automatic reply or a status update in your messenger app. You don't need to deliver the final answer ASAP but you do need to be polite and acknowledge the ask/message in a timely manner. Think about the folks who you know are responsive - you can count on them and you probably like them and would be willing to help them if they asked for help. Think about how powerful that is. Being responsive is a very simple way to build a nice good will account which you can cash in on when you need it.
- Seeking and Fostering CuriosityOne of the most effective ways you can build strong, mutually joyful professional relationships is through your genuine interest in the other person. If this makes you think about "active listening" that is exactly what seeking and fostering curiosity is. There is one key phase that helps build the active listening muscle and it's some variation of: "Tell me more about that." By saying that, what you are communicating to the other person is, "Wow, you are super interesting to me!" We all want to be heard and validated so ask questions and learn more. Here's a pro tip: check in on your tone and facial expression when you say this to someone. Raise your eyebrows a bit to open up your face and slap a small smile on your face. Your voice should sound encouraging and curious. Reciprocate when appropriate and be open right back. When you give someone space to open up to you, this is the place where real trust is built.
- Being Generous.I'm not talking about buying your co-workers lunch every week. I mean that is generous and good on you if you can swing it. But that's not necessary. What I need you to be generous with is your time, your resources, your support, and your effort. Don't hold back out of fear, and especially not out of spite. I once had a co-worker who I knew agreed with my point of view because she would often support similar ideas as long as I did not present them. She thought I was trying to steal her job (I very much wasn't) and was spiteful towards me in a variety of ways. Ultimately, it reflected poorly on her because her boss picked up on the immature passive aggressive tactics. Instead, when you default to a place of generosity, the support you lend someone, especially your time, will pay you dividends. Call it karma (I see you, Swifties), call it being a team player, call it whatever you want but what you accomplish when you default to generosity is building someone else up. And that feels good. Every. Damn. Time.
Holding the values of responsiveness, curiosity and generosity as priority values are some of my favorite ways to ensure alignment and feel more joy with my team at work. What ideas do these values bring up for you? What are 2 ways you could implement using a values based approach to creating joy at your workplace?
Next week, we dive into the last set of top values for creating joy at work:
- Reading the Room
- Giving the Benefit of the Doubt First
- When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them
- Stating the Obvious.
