Show Me Your Dirty Laundry

7 LESSONS FROM 7 YEARS OF THE MENTORESS COLLECTIVE

Show me your dirty laundry

I paused for a long moment, almost to the point of awkwardness…

And then I said, "Actually, Jake just dropped out of college. He’s in an inpatient psychiatric program right now."

That was eleven year ago.

It was my son’s first year of college and everytime I ran into another one of his classmate’s mothers around town she wanted to know…

"So how is Jake doing?"

And for the longest time I lied by omission.

I said things like, "Oh you know how freshman year is..."

Or I deflected by saying something like "He’s OK, how about [insert name of their child]?"

Until one day, I just couldn’t keep up the pretense anymore. I had no more f*&%s to give as they say.

So I answered with the raw truth. "Jake had a psychotic break. He’s addicted to drugs. He dropped out."

And when I told the truth, suddenly the floodgates opened.

All of these other mothers were pretending too.

They were worried about their children who were struggling with school, partying too much, having trouble meeting friends, dealing with depression and on and on and on.

My truth gave them permission to be real with me.

And suddenly we weren’t alone anymore.

This is the first lesson that I took with me when I founded the Mentoress Collective.

Mentoress Collective Lesson #1: 

Nobody gives a shit about all your "perfects," they want to see the pile of dirty laundry in the corner of your bedroom.

They want to know you are human.

Because that gives them permission to be human too.

That’s why during our intimate Literary Salons, I always invite our guests to write with us… to share their own struggles and triumphs in our read arounds.

Over the past 7 years we heard real human stories from best selling authors like Annie Hyman Pratt, Victoria Labalme, Shelley Brander, Brian Kurtz, Terri Trespicio and more.

These stories taught us how to take risks, grow our businesses, believe in ourselves, pay it forward and so much more.

It’s also why I always share my sh*tty first, second, third, fourth and… drafts during our hugely popular Copy Breakdowns.

Because looking at my perfect polished final copy doesn’t teach you as much as showing you the process I go through to take a terrible first draft and turn it into a multimillion-dollar promotion.

When you see the terrible headline I started out with, you know I’m human too. And if I can take that pile of horse hockey and spin it into gold, then you can too.

From the very first dinner in Stamford, Connecticut where I asked women to answer the question, "What is your all-is-lost-moment and how did you come back from it…"

I made a commitment to share what is "real" and "true" not just the perfect instagram image we want to project into the world.

Over the last seven years as we have shared our truth with each other, we have become more "real" to each other and to ourselves.

It reminds me of the sage wisdom of the Skin Horse in The Velveteen Rabbit…

"Real doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept."

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

It was my son Jake who gave me the courage to drop the mask of "perfect" and to become REAL.

By the time Jake graduated from college this past December with a Creative Writing degree, no less…

My eyes were drooping and I was looking very shabby and loose in the joints. ;-)

But none of that matters.

Because we have become real to each other.

Together in the Mentoress Collective we have become Real. 

We are more resilient. We do not break easily. We do not have to be carefully kept. 

We have supported each other, mentored each other, and helped each other to succeed in the trenches of a bro-culture world. 

So if you too value what is "real" over fake… 

If you like your truth straight with no chaser… 

If you want to understand what it really takes to succeed as a woman in business from women who have been there and done that… 

…all while dancing backwards in high heels… 

Then get LIFETIME access to the Mentoress Collective Legacy of Success today.

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