Show Me the World - and I'll See The Real You

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In this issue: Productivity w/o the “Hustle and Grind”; Keeping a Child’s Vision Through the Sturm und Drang

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Let’s Get the Formalities Out of the Way…

Why you’re getting this: I'm?Yuri Kruman?and this is my “Commander-In-Chief” Newsletter, based on my book,?“Be Your Own Commander-in-Chief.”?I send this?to people in my LinkedIN and FB networks, people I’ve met recently, and friends I want to keep in touch with. You can?unsubscribe?(SEE THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL) and I won’t be offended.

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Sage Masterclass on “Unlocking Productivity Through Mental Discipline”

Sage People asked me to contribute to their?“Season 2 Master Class, Unlocking Discipline.”

So I did. And DAMN, it kinda went viral on Twitter?(1.9M views and counting!!)

I don’t like all the usual “Grind and Hustle” horseshit that pervades social media.

It’s mostly the same tired tropes.

So I gave over my somewhat contrarian view.

Here’s what came out (I promise it’s more than worth the 5 min read :)

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Showing the World to a Child - and Seeing Myself

Some occasions present themselves from absolutely nothing.

This morning, instead of running off to a hike on my own, as usual, I had to take our son to the doctor.

He’s been down with a bad cough, runny nose, temperature at nights, the works.

VapoRub, dressing him up warmly, feeding him hot food, nothing’s really worked.

So the pediatrician, it was.

We were done in about 30 minutes, got the script.

I decided on the spot, we were going hiking together.

The weather was exceptional, basically 20 C (68 F), sunny, not too windy.

On the map, the new place was a bit off the beaten path.

We drove up the mountain, then around the rim.

As I was looking for the correct turn-off, I instinctively turned off the road onto a dirt road.

Just as I turned in, I noticed barbed wire to my right, a literal prison with a view (LOL).

We parked and walked down to yet another stunning view.

The mountainside was covered with countless dandelions and spots of bright-red anemones.

I carried him on my shoulders, so he would see better.

And showed him the flowers and trees, the valley down below, the sea.

Seeing a radio tower, he kept pointing and saying “Tour Eiffel!” (we were just in Paris, so all such towers are Eiffel Towers for now, LOL.

Around the bend, I saw some movement - a herd of mostly black goats!

We went just to look at them, up close.

Eating every bit of grass in sight, they were moved on my a whistle from the goatherd, a lifelong local.

“Horny goat” is something next-level, up close, in a herd.

Let’s just say, spring is definitely here ;)

Isaac was overjoyed.

I told him all about how the goats eat grass, poop and - voila! - flowers bloom!

The goatherd whistled, the goats passed further down the mountain.

Seeing my son on my shoulders, he strangely asked where we parked the car.

I waved vaguely behind me and he moved on after exchanging greetings.

It’s no secret I love teaching and showing others the world through my eyes.

But it hits different when it’s your toddler son.

It’s nothing like a one-way street.

Sure, I’m a kid at heart and have always been, life experience and all the crazy shit, notwithstanding.

The child-at-heart just hides further inside, out of reach of the cynical “real world” always grabbing for its throat.

My son is my Little Me. I’m also Big Isaac.

He smells flowers like me. He makes me laugh, just as I make him laugh.

And he appreciates beauty in a simple, profound way, without reservations or shyness or filter.

Everything interesting and colorful and bright and moving and new is “WOW!”

Just like for me, even if I’ve seen it a million times.

No worries, no John Lennon “dreamer” stuff here.

I live firmly in the “real world,” thanks much, but I see my role partly to inject a little “magical realism” into it through my work and interactions.

And how much more so for my kids!

There’s plenty of real-life wisdom to teach them, all the hundreds and thousands shades of grey in people, in concepts and networks and skills and what constitutes “success.”

But there’s not always a lot of time and opportunity to get them away from their normal kid interactions and screens, from the artificial myriad eye and ear - and belly - candy that gums up our lives.

Endless ads, fast fashion, fast food, plastic dishes and utensils and toys, clutter in every part of our lives, a million useless distractions. UGHHHH!!!

What does a man need to feel fulfilled, after all?

It’s not all that much different from a child, when you subtract all the agita and bullshit nonsense.

Sun, fresh air, water, mountains, someone you love that loves you back, a bit of good food.

But most of all, the true oxygen at the source of fulfilment?

Humbly speaking - and this is far from easy, in real life…

Some want to be loved, some want to be feared.

But either way, we all crave to be… UNDERSTOOD!!

Through different stages of our life, through evolving worldviews, through different relationships, cities, careers, what do we all secretly want?

Why do we say that a true friend is worth his or her weight in gold?

Is it for companionship? Well, that’s part of it, but a robot can also be a companion.

No, what we really want is someone to “get” us.

Not just to?tolerate?us, not to be our yes-man or -woman, not even just to love us unconditionally, although all these things can help.

Kids are a captive audience, in a way, for good (and sometimes otherwise; all parents screw up their children in some way, after all).

Some kids are closer to the source than others.

Some are more like one parent or another.

Some parents project themselves onto their kids, causing damage.

But barring all that, we as parents (and humans, in general) have a small window - essentially, a limited series of tiny, momentary windows - to get through to our children or friends or peers or colleagues, to get them to understand us even a little but, to get them to see the world through our eyes.

Sure, it might be for just 4 seconds, in the case of most people (thanks, Steve Jobs, secular saint, my ass), but it’s a big power and a big responsibility.

Will you repeat the same tropes you got as a kid or young adult?

Will you convey your cynical, limited, exhausted, limited, Malthusian, overly simplistic, sclerotic worldview with too-easy answers to life’s greatest questions to your kids or clients or colleagues?

OR, will you show others the world through the lens of beauty, wonder, color, richness, complexity, joy, infinity-within-finite bounds?

It’s no small power or responsibility.

“You are not required to finish your work, yet neither are you permitted to desist from it.” - Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot)

And that goes 10x for kids, although we damn well better try harder than for anyone else.

Are there dangers to this approach? Maybe, but they are much smaller than the dangers of a scarcity mindset applied to everything, a traveling carapace of slavery most people carry on their back their whole lives, afraid of their shadow, afraid to live, afraid to speak up, afraid to be even a tenth of what they’re capable of in life.

And those are often the very people that live?A Punishing Life, as I wrote about last week.

Call me naive, call me idealistic, call me whatever insult you like, I’m too old to care.

My son and daughters will at least know what beauty and decency and curiosity is, no matter how hard the forces of mediocrity and cynicism press them from all sides.

If I succeed in this one thing, plus giving them the right mental models and life skills and ability to communicate effectively, I can say that I’ve done something meaningful to raise the bar for them and their future families.

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Back on the path, we walked slowly back toward the car. For a good 40 minutes, I felt like a million bucks… to be understood by my 2 year-old.

And I understand him too, more than expected for a sober adult my age.

Life often turns out quite differently from what one imagines as a child.

But to keep the eyes of a child, to keep one’s imagination intact to adulthood and the courage to pursue it despite everything, is perhaps the greatest “rebellion,” the biggest middle finger to the relentless gravity of “circumstances,” the biggest “fuck you” to all the haters and shriveled mediocrities and agents of evil in the world.

It’s much harder to see the world through the eyes of a two year-old than a 20- or 40 year-old, as an adult.

But all the signals point to the opposite.

It’s a wonderful moment before we sit, he asks for pasta, falls asleep from tiredness, I have to get meds and to get back down the literal and figurative mountain to more pedestrian concerns.

The classical music resumes and Isaac falls asleep, despite my pleading for him to wait until after lunch.

Even dreamers need a rest sometimes :)

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Executive Coaching Office Hours (EXCLUSIVE FOR READERS)

Ask me ANYTHING career- or business-related for free, 1-on-1?(REALLY)

Click the link to schedule a time.

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Are there any other subjects you want me to cover??Hit “Reply” and tell me!

I love hearing from you guys :)

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