Show, don't tell - part one

Show, don’t tell.

You’ve probably heard that before, right? But you may be left wondering how. How, exactly, do you show, not tell? And perhaps more curiously, why should you?

Telling tells the reader what has happened/is happening, but showing allows the reader to experience it along with the character(s). Showing draws the reader in, immersing and involving them in the character’s world and they make a connection not otherwise possible.

Showing doesn’t change the pace of your story, it becomes your story, adding depth and helping to bring it and the characters to life. Showing is the thing that gives your characters personality, quirks and characteristics.

Think of it this way.

Your main character has an anger issue but she tries not to show it. When she’s reached tipping point, she has a quirk: she taps her fingers and chews at her lip. Now you can tell your readers that every time it happens, or you can show them.

Telling: Jenny’s patience had reached breaking point. “Enough!” she said angrily as she chewed her lip and tapped her fingers against her leg.

Showing: The fingers on Jenny’s left hand began tapping against her leg involuntarily, the same rhythmic beat that warned her she needed to gain control. Fighting to keep her cool, she remembered what her mum always used to tell her, close your eyes and count to ten. But the boiling rage inside her threatened to burst right out of her chest. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eig- the familiar sensation of teeth chewing at her lip interrupted all concentration and Jenny’s mind emptied of all thought. She knew what was coming next. All control was lost like a ship to the sea as the words erupted from her. “Enough!” The words echoed through her ears as her fists clenched to her trouser legs in a grip so tight, her knuckles turned the purest white.

Do you notice the difference in detail between the two? Telling merely states something whereas showing paints a scene that can come to life in the reader’s head. It gives life to the character. And as an added bonus, there was no need to use “she said” when showing, either. It is obvious who has said it and it is obvious how it was said - there was no need to add an adjective.

However, it’s far from perfect.

Ideally, we want to avoid using ‘was, is, could have, am, are’, etc. By doing so, it forces us to show even more. In the showing example above, the word “was” is used multiple times. And while it doesn’t detract too much from the scene, it’s definitely a “tell” rather than a “show”. And this is perhaps the hardest thing about showing vs telling - striking the balance.

Not every part of your story has to - or should - show. The mundane, unimportant things can definitely be told but make sure it’s mixed in with plenty of detail and showing. In its most basic form, showing is describing something. So, instead of saying she looked sad, you’d say that her gaze was downcast, a far-away look shadowed her eyes while a tear threatened to stain her rosy-pink cheeks.

Said, looked, sounded, tasted, felt. These are words you can easily turn from telling into showing, like the example above.

How would you re-word “she was angry” to show me Jenny’s angry, rather than just telling me she is? Think of all the characteristics associated with anger. How somebody sounds, the body language, the physical changes, the language use. Emotions are complex things, delve deep into them and describe what’s happening to the character to allow the reader to come to their own conclusion that the character must be feeling a certain way.

Hopefully the above is useful, but it doesn’t end there. Showing, not telling also applies to surroundings and we’ll take a look at some examples of these in part two.