Is shouting 'Help' enough?!
A few years ago i asked my neighbour to help me chose some plants for my garden. Being a man who doesn't always have time for the hobbies I love (which include golf, classic cars and travel) i certainly didn't have time to trawl around the garden center and take any interest in plants. I just wanted the garden to look a bit 'less dead' if you know what i mean? I AM NOT INTO GARDENING.
As an ex horticulturalist, Rita was only too keen to help. She was in her late 70's, had a lovely garden, and id helped her move her heavy sofa's around her lounge two weeks before, so i figured she owed me! I arbitrarily pointed to some pictures in one of the Alan Titchmarsh books she showed me, and gave her ￡85 expecting this to return me at least 2 summers of zero maintenance garden brilliance. "Make it look nice - Thanks Rita"
The result was a disaster - not that i ever blamed her. She bought fancy delicate plants that needed watering every 10 seconds and would die or become unwell if there was anything other than a forensically stable environment. They looked lovely - for about 10 seconds. Not only did i have to watch my investment of ￡85 wither before me, but i had to suffer the indignity of it all. I realised one Sunday that i was doomed to spend the rest of my life witnessing her disappointed face peering at my garden from between her front room curtains.
So what did i do wrong? Why was my ￡85 completely wasted? Rita was willing to help and had all the knowledge i needed. I had put my hand up (tick). I had acknowledged that i needed some input from an expert who knew more than me (tick). I checked that Rita knew what she was doing (tick). However what i didn't do was make sure she understood my main priorities and what was actually important to me. I didn't tell her why i was doing all this, or what was REALLY preventing me achieving it.
So this is what i learned about shouting for help:
- Be open to getting advise and guidance from someone who knows. It doesn't mean you are stupid.
- Think about your challenges and which of them are most critical, then share those challenges.
- Share the value you hope to get from the investment. Maybe even write it down.
- And most importantly - relate everything back to your primary objective without ever losing sight of it (a garden that looks good and doesn't need any time spent).
Oh, and if you are wondering - Rita is now in an old folks home in good health and happy. We exchange Christmas cards every year, and i concreted the front garden once she moved on.