Should You Use A Coach?

Maybe 10 or 15 years ago, people have might given you an odd look if you said that you were considering using a coach or a life coach. I am not sure why because coaching is something that managers do (directly or indirectly) every day. In today's world, the attitude towards coaching is a little different. 

This year, I have had a lot going on in terms of business, family, health and more. I would catch up with friends and they would ask how things were and I would share just some of what was going on. The usual response would be "Jeez!!" or something a little stronger!

 Me? I just kept moving forward. Whatever was thrown at me, I would absorb it and keep going. Until now.

In short, I was exhausted.

As Ant Middleton says in his book (click here) - you need to Breathe. Recalibrate. Deliver.

To do that, I needed to unpack everything, take a step back and review. I knew I needed to work with someone who was completely independent and didn’t know me. The question was, who?

Word Of Mouth

Aside from everything else, I am part of an amazing online group. We are all from very different walks of life, we all have different ambitions and goals but there is one thing that binds us all together - we want to do the best we can.

What is great about this bunch of people is that we realise that the only competition you really have is yourself. This means that the group is super positive and super supportive of each other. I have helped people within the group to navigate all sorts of situations and have done so willingly with no need or desire to get anything back in return.

Some of that group had a session with a lady called Liz Abram. They raved about how good she was and so I looked her up.

Why Liz Abram?

I realised I had seen Liz on TV. There is programme called SAS : Who Dares Wins. It is a condensed version of the SAS selection process where participants try to get through to the end. It is fascinating!! Liz is part of the interrogation phase of the show. During that phase, participants are put under serious stress (mock capture by an enemy, hoods over the heads, stress positions, all the good stuff etc). They are then questioned for information to see if they would give anything away. There was something about her that was both disconcerting and engaging at the same time. I remember thinking… I would love to meet her!

We had a call and I talked a little about what I needed to do. There were 3 options available:

• Skype sessions
• Table Sessions (a big pot of tea at her kitchen table)
• Walk and Talk session

I love my green space, hills and woodlands and so I arranged to do one of her "Walk and Talk" sessions.

The Day Arrives

I had been so excited to actually have a day out of the office to do something a little different. I had visions of bright sunshine, fresh air and green space. The reality was a little different! There was some green space and some fresh air but heavy rain and poor visibility. Disappointing but not a disaster. Just adapt! #alwaysmovingforward 

What Happened?

Where we agreed to meet was beautiful but everything was shut. We adapted and went onto another village. We sat in a café and talked over a cup of tea. A cup of tea became more tea. More tea became lunch and mid afternoon we decided to brave the elements. We talked more and then headed back to the village for… yes you guessed it, more tea. Oh and a cake! Us brits drink can drink a LOT of tea!

My Approach To The Coaching Session 

• I left all pre-conceived ideas at the door
• I gave her full access to my head and let her wander round and question me on anything she wanted to talk about. No topic was off limits.
• My responses were completely honest. There is no point lying. It wastes her time and my time and money. Of course, she would see right through it if I did anyway.
• I knew I had to be totally open to get the most out of the day

What Surprised Me?

• Her ability to build rapport and empathy incredibly quickly
• She is incredibly perceptive and intuitive
• She identified the critical issues and went to work on them within the first 15 minutes
• I didn’t get a question as a response to my question (i.e. If I were to say, "What do you think that means?" I didn't get the "What do you think it means?" response which frustrates the hell out of me. I got a proper answer!
• We had a 2 way dialogue. She shared relevant experiences that related to my situation
• We covered far more ground than I thought possible in the time we had and it didn’t feel rushed.
• She didn’t try to sell further sessions although I will probably have another one in the new year.

The Outcome

• I walked away thinking wow, just wow!
• We ended up with a 6 point plan of things that I need to do. I could share them with you but it would be meaningless (seriously… one is to take my foot off the pixie valve!!)
• I walked away with my head feeling a little mashed (that is a great feeling!)
• That night I had an awful night sleep. We had covered so much ground there was so much to digest and process.
• The following night, I slept like a baby for the first time in a while.
• I can already feel myself re-charging quicker than before

What Did I Learn?

It turns out that I am very resilient and resourceful. It is odd because I just see it as "I do what I do". Sometimes you need someone to point it out to you.

I have achieved more than I give myself credit for:

• I have created jobs for people and will be creating more
• I have built an great team who are dedicated, brilliant and do amazing work every day
• I have built a company that does a few things brilliantly
• I have built a trusted, recognisable brand within my channel from scratch
• I can, have and will take tough decisions to ensure the greater good
• I have successfully navigated some really difficult situations (both personally and professionally)
• Integrity has been the founding principle of my business and I have never deviated from that and never will do. I would (and have) walked away from opportunities if integrity wasn’t there.
• A big motivator for me is helping others succeed (whether they realise it or not) and I am not afraid to be challenging if needed

There is no point climbing a mountain if you are not going to take a step back and admire the view along the way.

Now, the above was actually difficult for me to write because I don't want to be seen as "blowing my own trumpet". What I am sharing really is that sometimes you need to stop and see the wood for the trees, you need someone to point out how far you have come. When someone you do not know listens and then points it out, it makes a big difference.

What Will I Do Next?

Well, I am going to use the Christmas period to:

• Reflect on the session
• Re-charge my batteries!
• Implement the 6 actions

I already have exciting plans for the new year. Subscribe to my website (www.oneredkite.com) to find out more (I hate spam. You will never receive it from us).

What Would My Advice Be?

Remember, even the world's most elite and effective soldiers ask for support sometimes. If they  do it, so can you.

• If you have been thinking about getting coaching, try it. What have you got to lose?
• Find someone who you really connect with or has the ability to connect with you
• Leave expectations at the door. Go with the flow.
• Be open and honest. If you trust the coach, this should be easy. If you don’t, find someone else.
• Listen. Really listen. The answers will be there.
• Do something with it.
• Connect with Liz Abram and have a chat. She is such a nice lady and super smart. She can also be contacted via her website (https://www.lizabram.co.uk)

So, Should You Use A Coach? Is It Worth It?

Of course, I have yet to follow through on the actions set but the day was a brilliant experience. It was refreshing to have a two-way discussion talking through things with someone who doesn't know you. Whatever happens, for me, it was time (and money) well spent.

Should you do it? That is up to you. What have you got to lose? If you would rather use someone you know, go ahead.

Finally... the only competition you really need is yourself!

If you have found this useful, please like, comment or share it with someone who may find it useful.

Thank you for reading.

Kevin

[email protected]

About Me

I am the founder of a specialist Travel Retail consultancy One Red Kite. We are a trusted partner in Travel Retail, supporting global brands and retailers. We use our brand and retailer experience to turn retailer data into something that is easy to use, delivers insights and drives profitability. Our sister company, Red Kite Recruitment specialises in bringing exceptional talent into our industry.