Should you share personal goals at work?

Humans are multi-layered, complex beings - and that doesn't change the moment they enter the office (or Zoom meeting).

Ideally we all have goals and interests outside of our work. And we often share those goals and interests with our coworkers casually, in the course of normal conversations. But share with the boss? Sometimes that feels risky - I mean, what if they think having outside interests means we're less committed than we "should" be?

What if the opposite were true?

I was facilitating an annual goal-setting and planning session for a corporate client. We had thirty smart, committed, ambitious people in the room and spent the day mapping out their reasonable and stretch goals - and plans to achieve them - for the business for the upcoming year.

Then the leader threw a curve ball.

"With what we've just created I'm confident that we've got the people, plans and resources necessary to set ourselves up for a great year. But I believe we're missing something."

(insert moment of visible fear, confusion and annoyance from participants)

"If we're successful in the business but you miss out on whatever is important to you, I think we've missed the point. I also know that unless we state goals and create plans to achieve them - like we've done here - the chances of achieving those goals are much lower."

(heads start nodding, albeit cautiously. Confusion now the dominant expression)

"So to round out our day, here's what I'd like us to do. If you have personal goals, plans or interests that you'd like to share, let's talk about them now. Even better, if there's something you need from this group that will increase your chances of achieving that goal or focusing on that interest, let's hear it. Make the request. That way we can be sure we're supporting each other in everything that's important."

Silence.

The leader gave them a minute or two to process the idea. He stepped away from the centre of the room, leaving space for whomever wanted to speak. He encouraged them to share - assuring them it was safe and that he really wanted everyone on the team to know that they could be open about whatever it was that was important to them. Eventually, one by one, tentative hands were raised.

"I've committed to coaching my daughter's t-ball team this summer - and that means I'll need to be out of the office by 4pm on Wednesdays for 10 weeks. I'd love some back up so my team has someone to go to if anything arises when I leave a bit early."

"I'm starting a Master's program and will have assignments due on Fridays, so it would be great if I could plan to be off email and messages Wednesdays and Thursdays after hours."

"I'm training for a triathlon and need to carve out time for a long swim, a long run and a long bike ride every week. I can do two of those on the weekend but I'll need one day during the week when I can either come in a bit late or leave a bit early in order to get that training done."

One by one the group members shared their goals and outside interests. Not all were asking for time or accommodation - some just wanted their colleagues to know what lit them up. But as more people shared you could feel the energy in the room rising. They were excited to talk about what they loved, and were feeling seen and appreciated by the leader because he'd created this conversation and opportunity.

By the time the session was done they'd come to a number of agreements about how to support the colleagues that had made specific asks - with full transparency to the leader, and with his full support. They also agreed to include more of 'how's x going?' in their daily conversations. Most importantly, though, is that they told their leader how much they appreciated being able to share and make requests and how much it meant that he really wanted to hear about who they were and what was important outside of work.

We've gotten used to seeing more of each others' lives because of the work-from-home-meet-on-video mode that's become our normal this past few years. But I don't often hear of leaders who go out of their way to invite people to bring their personal interests into their work world. As we all try to navigate economic pressure and burnout and exhaustion and fear and all the other stress and negativity pervading our world, wouldn't it be a nice counter point if we elevated, honoured and actively supported the people with whom we spend so much time?

Oh, and that team over-delivered on their stretch goals for the year - in addition to finishing triathlons, coaching t-ball, completing masters' courses and numerous other wonderful personal attainments. Coincidence? I don't think so.