Should You Keep Some Things to Yourself?
Dr Desley Lodwick GAICD
Founder, Master Coach, Professional Speaker, Coach Development, AMPLIFY Women, Leadership Development, Cohort Group Coaching, Executive Coach, AMPLIFY Wisdom, Board Performance
My husband uses social media because he is a musician with thousands of followers. It is a way for him to engage with his audience and provide news about upcoming gigs. However, I’ve recently noticed him mumbling about comments from people that have him wondering whether he needs to unfriend or remove them as a connection because they have told him all he needs to know about themselves.
His curiosity about how contradictory people’s screen lives can be to their real-life presence has been piqued. In his real-life conversations, they are generally likeable people. Yet their online selves do not reflect the values he innocently assumed they shared with him. On an excellent day, he is introspective and asks questions of himself.
I have also noticed that he has developed a very effective way to respond to comments on his social media. He uses three tests he discovered on a Facebook meme (lol) that he reflects on before launching into a potentially unhelpful comment. Those of you who know him will be smiling at this point.
It’s like he has developed a “filter for clarity.”
Just as water passes through a series of filters to remove impurities, his words pass through three questions—truth, necessity, and kindness—to ensure that he shares only his most valuable and constructive thoughts free from unnecessary or harmful elements.
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His three tests are:
What do you do when you have said something that, upon reflection, was not wise? Words have the power to build or break, inspire or diminish, and once out in the world, they cannot be easily retrieved. What I find helpful is to enter a mode that a friend helpfully called sweeping the path behind me, cleaning up any mess I might have made.
So, next time you find yourself on the verge of speaking up and there is a niggle inside you, take a moment to pause and ask:
Is it true? Is it needed? Is it kind?
Let these three tests guide you. Watch how they shape your relationships for the better.
This practice is more than a communication tool—it’s a philosophy for creating more mindful, respectful, and effective interactions.
Could these three tests change the way you communicate in your daily life?
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2 周Remove.
BRAND & LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION SPECIALIST | I help purpose-driven leaders and organisations communicate with impact so they can build trust, connection and reputation | Author x3
1 个月I love this article Dr Desley Lodwick GAICD It’s a great reminder of how the ramifications on relationships and reputation from communicating too hastily and without due consideration, can be far-reaching. The three questions suggested in the article can be easily and quickly applied to avoid potential unintended consequences.