Should You Build A Friendship First Before A Serious Relationship When You’re Marriage-Minded?

I get this question all the time from my marriage-minded clients, “Should you build a friendship before a relationship, especially if you’re marriage-minded?”

One needs to explore this question deeply. It’s not a straightforward “yes” or “no” answer.

We always hear that you want your life partner to be your best friend and be that someone who has your back.

What is friendship? The dictionary states, “a state of mutual trust and support between two people. A relationship between friends.”

Given this definition, I would say, “Yes, you need to develop a friendship first.”

And how do you develop that trust and support with a new person that you barely know?

Of course, any relationship that will last takes tie to build. We need to go through experiences together to test the bonds of a friendship or any relationship.

On the other hand, when dating for marriage, there is a specific goal or intent.

You’re dating for the purpose of meeting someone for a serious, committed relationship that could lead to marriage.

And give that purpose, many of my clients, when they meet the right person, seem to become exclusive within 3 to 6 dates. Do you really know a person given that timeframe? Is this crazy?

Exclusivity is usually agreed upon by the couple so they can build trust in one another. And there is a desire to only spend time with each other and deepen the relationship. As a result, you’re not going to date another person while being exclusive.

How can you build a friendship before a relationship that is focused on the goal of engagement leading to marriage?

What comes up for my clients is knowing that you can trust someone.

And how do you build that trust?

First, by being reliable. Call when you way you will call. Show up for dates when you say you’re making a commitment to doing so.

Second, make yourself available to this person within reason. Making time to connect with them almost daily. Finding time for FaceTime or Zoom chats if you’re not in the same town or state or country!

Make plans and stick to them. (Of course, stuff comes up and I know this is harder for my clients who have demanding jobs, childcare issues, or dependent aging parents.

Another way to build trust that leads to a greater commitment is to make plans for the future together and follow through with them. This would be a weekend getaway or introducing your significant other to your family and friends. Wouldn’t you do this with a good friend, as well?

You would hope you would treat your partner as good as, or even better than you would treat your best friend.

So, what’s the difference between becoming a friend and developing a relationship that can lead to marriage? It’s all about setting an agreed intention to be dating for marriage and being romantic with one another. And yes, eventually becoming physically intimate when the time is right for both people.

This will help you avoid the “friend zone” so many of my clients fear.

So, should you build a friendship before a relationship? Of course! And I recommend you build a friendship along with seeing if this relationship has the right stuff to lead to marriage. Spending time and building experiences is your best way to know for sure.

I even have clients who have taken a second look at their friends or friends from their past who are also single. Timing can really make the difference when it comes to finding your life partner.

In my Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets coaching program, I provide recommended time frames for how long you should date someone according to your age group and goals before expecting to get engaged and then married.

Let me know if I can show you how to get off the dating merry-go-round and develop a loving, committed relationship that can lead to marriage – if that’s your goal. I’ve coached hundreds of clients who have implemented the Motivate to Marry methodology successfully and are in loving relationships today because of it.

If you’re ready to adjust what you’ve been doing and learn how to connect with your true love partner within 6 months or less, then let’s talk. Just go to https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/ to begin the process of scheduling a time for us to talk.

In our conversation (what I call a Strategy Session) I can share how I make dating for a serious relationship easier and even fun!