Should we feel privileged?

This street tag was visible in one of Tel Aviv’s most prestigious avenues, where apartment prices are skyrocketing with the development of the high-tech and start-up industry. It was posted at the very spot where, in 2011, students lived in tents for several weeks to protest housing prices, in a movement similar to “Occupy Wall-Street”. I found the wording worthy of comment, not from a political perspective, but rather from the one of coaching and positive psychology. In this article I will focus on the paradigm shift regarding the notion of privilege, from legal to cognitive. I will then present some creative options for self-transformation when faced with challenges, feeling disadvantaged or underprivileged. Finally, I will discuss the advantages of self- awareness and awareness of others.

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A. From the legal field to that of perception and awareness

Technically, a privilege is a specific right or advantage that is given to a person or a group, as an exception to the law applying to the majority. In old Europe, the aristocracy or the clergy had privileges upon the common people. Shifting the definition from the legal field to the social realm, the woke movement argues that most privileges received by certain groups are hidden and that in many situations the beneficiaries are not even aware of being privileged.

A whole field of studies has developed in the United States that attempts to explain white, gender, educational, and other dominances and privileges. Critics argue that the scientific grounds for most of this academic literature is very questionable. They also point out that in any case it is counterproductive to solve societal inequalities by singling out privileged groups because it pits one group against another. The debate is vivid on both sides of the Atlantic and has a strong influence on the political debate.

Let’s analyze the change in logic.

The older fight focused on the abolition of factual legal privileges. In modern democracies, these privileges have mostly disappeared. This is not to be confused with social and economic inequalities that remain in a number of areas. The new woke fight focuses on raising awareness of unseen privileges, especially on the part of the privileged, who are its primary target. It has moved into the field of perceptions, mindsets and awareness. Emotional, psychological, historical, socio-economic and cultural factors are at play.

In the corporate world, it has translated into numerous DEI (Diversity, Equality, Inclusion) programs. (On this topic, see my article “When Inclusion Collides with Diversity”). Many coaching sessions are also influenced by this new cognitive field in which they take place. The tricky part here is that if we assume that privilege is a matter of perception, hence of cognitive filters, this must also be the case for those who feel underprivileged. It is important to remember here that in both cases, privileged or underprivileged, people do not act or react according to reality but to their perception of reality.

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B.?Dealing with the sense of being disadvantaged or underprivileged

Some may find our use of the word “sense” inadequate or provocative, for there are many situations in which people actually suffer disadvantages or discriminations at the hands of in-groups that are unaware of their biases. We will not deal here with overt discriminations that needs to be addressed by the power of the law. Instead, we will focus on the emotional and sensory experience of feeling disadvantaged or underprivileged. Because at the individual level our emotional and intellectual response to privilege will either help or hinder us in developing and achieving our goals. In a word, our response gives us leverage.

We are pleased to share four dynamics that help overcome challenges while providing motivation and energy. What they have in common is that they encourage us to move away from the closed confrontation between privilege and underprivileged. They replace it by a dynamic of change, transformation and life.

1.???One of the best ways to deal with challenges is to consider them as triggers for creativity

Without denying the challenges, it is counterproductive to constantly “feed” them by giving them too much attention and energy. This is why the traditional first step of a coaching is to turn a complaint about a problematic situation into a question to be solved. The question will serve as a creative brief to find solutions. For example, “I feel undervalued by my male colleagues” may lead to a question such as “How could I influence the perception of my male colleagues so as they recognise my true worth?”

2.???Finding the hidden gifts in the situation

Complimentary to this creative approach, positive psychology teaches us to consider challenges as springboards for learning and development. In most situations, including the very difficult ones (unless they are tragic), we can find a hidden gift. It may be something we didn’t perceive before and that will bring us value in the future. It may be a specific learning experience or knowledge. A bad situation can also trigger a decision that will change our life for the better. On a broader level, it can help find one’s purpose. Remarkably, for those who have had very difficult experiences, faced unfair situations, or been disadvantaged, finding a purpose may also be a path to resilience.?

3- Turning a non-privilege into a counter-privilege

I remember coaching this very innovative and successful business owner. Her small business was doing well in its market when she was approached by the representatives of the industry’s trade organization. They wanted her to join the Prospective Committee of the Organization. All the members of this committee held very senior positions in large international companies. She hesitated to accept the invitation because she was afraid that she “didn’t belong to their world”. She also feared that she would be seen as an imposter at the first meeting. During the coaching, we addressed her fears and reframed her beliefs. What she could bring to the committee was precisely a different perspective, away from the groupthink that resulted from people all coming from the same schools and having the same experiences. After the first meeting, she told me that her original contribution to the discussion had been very much appreciated. A few months later, she was one of the most influential members of the committee.?

4- Looking for systemic impact

The degree to which we are aware of our own possibilities and power will impact our actions and relationships to others. Likewise, the way we consider our challenges, limitations or suffering will affect our self-confidence and image. It is pretty different to consider them as areas for development or limitations. In other words, the way we perceive ourselves impacts the way the others perceive us. Working on self-perception and image will potentially bring powerful systemic effects.

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C.?Raising one’s awareness about others and their challenges

Now let’s switch side and find out the benefits of being aware of one’s privilege and the situation of others.

The street graffiti in the photo is a sophisticated reframing of what privilege is. It emphasizes the lack of awareness, not of one’s own advantages, but of the difficult experiences of others, which are outside the zone of concern of the privileged. To this extent, privilege could be understood as a lack of empathy.

In fact, there are many reasons why caring about others and becoming aware of their problems could be a great idea. We present some of them here in connection with different stages of leadership development.?

1-???It’s your job!

The first stage is technical. Understanding the concrete and subjective experience of others may be part of your role. This will allow you to find better solutions. If you are in a management position, you certainly want to be aware of the individual or collective challenges of your team members. This is a necessity if you want to help them overcome difficulties and provide support when needed. Similarly, if you work as a salesperson, you want to be aware of your customers’ challenges. Understanding and taking fully into account the challenges of others is at the heart of any profession or job that is relational.

2-???Fostering human based performance

The second stage is relational and focuses on collective performance. If you want a motivated and creative team, or fruitful relationships with stakeholders, you need to take into account the personal, emotional and subjective factors that impact individual and collective performance. It is associated with the ability to put oneself in the shoes of others and perceive the world from their perspective.

If privilege is the elephant in the room, it needs to be addressed. At the collective level, raising awareness (in a positive and constructive manner) will enhance cooperation and collective intelligence among team members coming from diverse backgrounds.

At an individual level, awareness of one’s own power and challenges as well as the power and challenges of others will lead to more fruitful relations. It will help foster professional development and empowerment. Perception of privilege may also be the differentiating factor in high-stake interactions such as negotiations or change management.

3-???Finding our purpose

At a higher stage, there is the question of our contribution to a system beyond ourself. We could express it as a question of role, responsibility and purpose. It is about questioning the impact we want to have on the world around us. This is an important part of the process of transforming oneself and one’s interactions with the world. To achieve this, we must first have a keen awareness of the world around us and the situation of all stakeholders. From this awareness, it is a matter of anticipating how our actions can contribute to changing a situation at a more global level.

Interestingly, working at this level may activate an outward-inward paradox. Indeed, studies in psychology show that a high sense of purpose brings a higher level of happiness, well-being and resilience. Caring for others with a sense of purpose is also beneficial to the individual.

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To summarise this article, we can say that:

1. Working on our perceptions of a situation and how we relate to it will change our capabilities to improve the situation for ourselves and the others.
2. When a person is faced with challenges, feels disadvantaged or underprivileged, focusing too much on their problems generates negative emotions. This hinders their capacity to find creative solutions or to move forward on their development path. Good ways to deal with such situations are:

- Activating creativity to overcome the problems,

- Finding the hidden gifts in the situation,

- Turning a situation of non-privilege or disadvantage into one of counter-privilege,

- Looking for systemic leverage.

3. Raising one’s awareness about others and their challenges can bring many benefits.

- It is usually part of the job for professions based on relations.

- It creates better conditions for fostering collective intelligence and performance.

- It is a ground layer for finding purpose for our actions.

4. Finally, let’s add that expressing gratitude also contributes to our well-being and happiness. Since emotions are contagious, it will also have an impact on others. To this extent, it may be rewarding to feel privileged.