Should we expect our leaders to be Superhuman?

Not gonna lie...its taken a few tries to write this for reasons which will be obvious below.

Understanding and promoting positive mental health in the workplace has become a huge focus for a lot of organizations in the recent years, along with celebrating and promoting Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DEIB). Having leaders with empathy and a sense of their own emotional intelligence is critical, however there seems to still be a divide...a bit of a double standard where we expect our leaders to not be encumbered with the same realities that, as leaders, we are expected to understand and hold space for.

I'm not sure if we have lost sight of the truth that leaders are people with our own thoughts, beliefs, talents, weaknesses, and issues, or if we as a leadership culture, decided we are somehow different and can rise above simply being human. Hint: we aren't and we can't.

I'm going to be real for a bit and say some things that may be harmful to my career, my social capital, and my future prospects, however there is a very good reason for it and for which I will take any potential fallout.

I have ADHD, like a pretty good chunk of the population these days, and my particular flavour outwardly manifests as being super easily distractable, very limited object permanence...think "out of sight, out of mind" - sometimes I forget I have kids..., hyper-focus where hours feel like minutes, and disorganization. None of these seem to be good traits for a leader to possess, to be honest. However, inwardly, my brain is running through multiple lists of things that need to happen, solutioning on the fly, firefighting 10 different problems, having 5 different pre-conversations...you know, playing out a conversation multiple times with probable outcomes to prepare for the ACTUAL conversation before it happens...and so on and so on. The ADHD brain is a busy place if you're like me and are trying to solve all the problems and do all the things at the same time, but outwardly, it looks like we just can't get our act together.

I've always tried to lead through modelling the behaviour I wanted my teams to follow, and talking openly and honestly about mental health issues has been a key message. Its worked more than its failed and I wish I could say it was never weaponized against me but I also try not to lie, so...

But as I said at the beginning, being able to have these safe spaces to have these conversations is critical to me as a leader and I will take any blow-back because late last week, a former teammate of mine messaged me and told me he had just received an ADHD diagnosis in his 30's. He went so far as to thank me for talking about my own mental health issues when I was his manager which helped reduce the stigma around him seeking out help and being accepting of his diagnosis. I've had the honour to be thanked like this a few times in my career and I am so proud of their bravery and vulnerability every time.

Showing vulnerability, compassion, and empathy has somehow been branded as weakness to be avoided in our leadership culture but really, I think it's a superpower. It allows us to make meaningful connection with our people, take care of them how they need, support them, and retain them. We all struggle with finding and keeping good people, helping them grow, helping them feel valued, helping them feel accepted. Letting our coworkers connect with us at that level will help all of that, and in turn, help us leaders feel more human and accepted as well.

In a world which seems to be getting far less tolerant of anyone branded as "other" for whatever reason...politics, misogyny, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia, racism...we need to lead by example and model behaviours without becoming "role models" on pedestals, seemingly better or different than everyone else.

I'm just Craig. Yes, I'm an InfoSec leader but I'm also someone with ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) traits, clinical depression, a bit of body dysmorphia, and is part of the LGBTQ community.

On second thought, as I re-read this before hitting "submit", maybe we do need our leaders to be superhuman, or at least superheroes, because being told my vulnerability helped someone else certainly makes me feel like I wear a cape occasionally.