Should Leaders Swear?

Social media is a peculiar space. For some people, it is an opportunity to present the best version of themselves, a personal brand where every image, comment and post is curated for a particular audience and a particular purpose. Others may prefer a warts and all, wysiwyg approach, presenting themselves exactly as they are offline. I fall into the latter group - LinkedIn Dave is no different to irl Dave.

Across my various social media accounts, you may have come across my daily exploits, some fond family moments, and the occasional positive mantra. I also share some of the real frustrations I encounter in my work - namely, the inconsistency in culture change spaces. Every now and then I will use some profanity in the content to express that frustration.?

A lot of my work centres around the importance of good communication, so I know the power of words. I know words can both soothe a soul and provoke a thought pattern often unconsidered.

This week, for the fifty-eleventh time, I had someone comment (read ‘complain’) about my use of profanity in a piece of content I posted.?The concerned citizen questioned whether or not “such words” should be used on a business or networking platform and whether or not that would harm my personal brand or impact the kind of clients I can work with.

So here is the thing for me. If my clients aren’t giving me shit about my language, why should you?

What’s the Problem?

I am very deliberate and particular in how I put out challenging content. It is very intentional. I know my audience. However, as I tell my leadership coaching clients week in week out, we cannot anticipate the worldview of every individual and we need to be OK with the fact that some will take issue with whatever is said.

Whatever your role is, when communicating, you need to understand your why and the impact you want to have on the intended audience. Let me lead with the meme I posted on my Linkedin, Twitter and Instagram accounts that provoked the latest round of digital fist-shaking and tutting.

The premise of this meme is to create a narrative arc that gets people who struggle with the idea of not feeling deserving to be there. The bold type font heading of the piece serves to grab your attention first and foremost.

Then there are the storytelling elements, loosely correlated to the patterns present in Freytag's pyramid.

The rising action where the problem is made explicit; people struggle to self-accept because they have convinced themselves that other people are better.

Then the climax; the reader's view is challenged with evidence, shown to be incomplete and inaccurate. Then the profanity. A bolt out of the blue. A pattern interrupt.

Then we go full circle, all the way back to that original premise of being in a space that you earned the right to be in.

Some may ask, "But could it be said without using a word that is profane?"

Of course it can. Writing and speaking are forms of expression - they illustrate how we feel. But to that point, why not use profanity??A well placed swear is a powerful rhetorical device for honesty. An appeal to pathos, you might say.

Profanity is contextual of course and again, always be mindful of your core audience and what you need to communicate. I am not going to rock into a client’s office effing and blinding just for the hell of it. FYI, I always check with my clients as to whether the use of my full vernacular would be too all-consuming for the audience. I am always comfortable with such expressions online, including professional networks like Linkedin, because they don't have the boundaries or nuances that come with office etiquette and politics. After all, you choose to visit someone’s online profile but you can’t choose to leave the office - and that needs to be respected.

A limited vocabulary

I grew up in a household where, to this day, I don't swear in front of my parents. OK, I've let a few expletives slip out on the odd occasion, but that, again, is about audience and context. My daughters, however, can use profane language in front of me. They have a rich vernacular but, like me, recognise that sometimes a couple of ‘f-bombs’ can help with emotive expression and driving a point home.?My wife has a less flexible position!

The idea that the use of profanity is a sign of a limited vocabulary is nothing new. Ancient philosophers framed swearing as something brutish. Then there are the modern hypotheses, like the "poverty of vocabulary", that suggests that we mainly swear when words fail us. This has been challenged by numerous linguistic research studies, such as Taboo word fluency and knowledge of slurs and general pejoratives: deconstructing the poverty-of-vocabulary myth. This specific study showed that subjects who swore more had a very comprehensive vocabulary - a concept known as verbal fluency.

The point here is not that taboo, vulgar, swear or profane words should be peppered in our communication without context, but that it is limiting and inaccurate to deduce that it is a sign of a limited vocabulary.

Should leaders swear?

A brilliant article that appeared in the Leadership & Organization Development Journal, in September 2007 focused on profanity as a means of persuasion in the workplace. Swearing at work and permissive leadership culture (Go download and read for yourself). Suffice to say that it depends on the culture and how you as a leader shape it.

I believe it is OK for leaders to swear if they know their audience is OK with it. Written or orated, you choose. But never forget the context.?

I have facilitated senior board meetings where we have allowed for freedom of expression to include profanity as long as it is not a default or targeted at specific persons. As a speaker and facilitator, I always ask for permission to ensure it’s not a problem if I use a swear to get my point across. If there is the least resistance, then I am happy not to. It’s not that deep for me.

I am, however, more hesitant to advise senior leaders of large companies to use profanity in their writing, especially for external communications. The impact of negative media and press if they write and use profanity is very different for them than thought leaders and smaller company owners like me. But again, I leave this to their discretion and discussion between those who drive and shape their organisational culture.

Does this mean that leaders should be puritans and avoid any language that is deemed profane? Of course not. We are grown people. We can use our common sense and understand time, place and context.

That said, I don’t expect anybody to read this and start writing annual reports or memos with munter, bloodclaat or bellend as keywords to motivate or inspire their staff. As with all communication, it has to be intentional and not just to shock.

The point of this essay is to get you to understand that for some people, a well-placed swear can serve a purpose. Whether as a means of persuasion, a call to action or a reflection on a dire situation.

I am very upfront with people who read my content or work with me that I am OK with profanity. I will continue to use it in my content and speaking engagements, without asterisks.?More so with context when working on specific client projects but it’s there unless I am expressly forbidden to do so. I tend not to work for overly religious clients or in regions where I can’t be my true self.

The ability to draw on swearing as part of my communication toolkit aligns with my leadership values of authenticity and honesty. It is not the first port of call but profanity has and will continue to serve me. So yeah, leaders can swear. Not all leaders need to swear and not all occasions call for it. But if the planets align, fucking go for it!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some further reading for you

Swearing is good for you - Emma Byrne

Holy Shit. A Brief History of Swearing - Melissa Morr

Gender and swearing: a community practice - Karyn Stapelton

In Secreit Place this Hyndir Nycht?- Dunbar (1508)

Indecent influence: The positive effects of obscenity on persuasion - Scherer and Sagarin

The Vulgar Tongue: Green's History of Slang - Jonathan Green