Should Leaders Ask for Support?

Ah! Got your attention. Of course they should. YES! Please do, I beg of you! I’m a business coach that advises entrepreneurs, CEOs, managers and professionals on their business acumen, courage and leadership skills. I write books on vulnerability, kind communication, compassion and empathy. I believe in the strength of soft skills in any business environment and relationship. I have seen the lack thereof and how it hurts, and I’ve seen transformations in clients because of the work that I do. Vulnerability is not a weakness, it’s a strength and it’s the ability to get over ego and pride to ask for support and assistance. Who are you not to see your light? But who are you not to ask for help to get out of the dark.

We are all in a global crisis. I am hit with a double whammy- as the beginning of 2020 gave me a whirlwind of grief, losing the love of my life and being run over by a boat. Yes, I said that. It happened. We were run over while snorkeling and I returned home alone on January 5th from our new years trip with double the bills, sadness and an unknowing, let alone without my life partner. And now this...

The business coach in me had to train herself to get out of the dark- and that I did, and I’m still doing. Daily. This is a mindset game and my sadness will not remain because I won't allow it to. This is my reinvention story and I was saved because I have a purpose on earth to continue to empower, inspire and motivate people in good times and bad. Grief is real and we are all dealing with it now.

I didn’t want to see anyone, nor could I even pick up the phone when it rang for months since the accident but I am slowly returning and upon my return, the world is crumbling, so I'd like to be your guide. Let's all go on a reinvention journey together. I'd like to be your empowerment coach to let you know that you will be ok. I dove headfirst into my book that I was finishing and launch it for the world, which I did last Saturday. You can see the LIVE version on my Facebook page or take a look here. We can get creative when we fall. Remember how fun it was to finger paint when you were younger? Your childlike spirit is begging you to see him or her right now and to ask for help if you need it.

Yesterday was emotional for me. It was a total meltdown. As a leader, I needed support. As a leader, I needed comfort in the midst of the chaos that I write about overcoming. The physical pain in my recovery from the accident re-occurs because my treatments are null due to no doctor’s offices being open and if they are, who would want to go in case of the transmittal of the virus. So there I sat in my own tears.

My body of work is called BeyondEgo. I don’t just write about it, I LIVE IT fully. I walk my own damn talk. My work is based in nature to provide a gentle healing because personal development is not easy and we have to face some really horrific things about ourselves and our habits, and we all have to face our falls in life in order to have the courage to get back up.

Financially, we are all at a standstill, but I have the willpower and life spirit to continue on. I have no other choice. Everything has changed for me but my spirit rides high. My friends started a GOFUNDME page for me and it was I who had to go beyond my own ego to say “Yes, let’s do that. Thank you for the support.” I had to get over my own fear and embarrassment of “the ask”.

I shared this message this morning on my Facebook Group called BeyondEgo.

"Strong people can feel weak. Leaders can ask for support. That's the power of humanity- having the courage to ask- and the power of friendships and colleagues to kindly reach out a hand and a loving shoulder to say, "I am there". I call it kindness electricity. We should never tell people how they should feel, rather, know that everyone has ups and downs and the best part of being a kind human being is to know the difference of ego and pride and the simplicity of kind gestures and empathy."

My dearest business friends and leaders. It’s ok to falter. It’s ok to fall, but have the courage to ask for support. Even in my GOFUNDME, a small donation meant one more book to self-publish because the next one is already coming. All of it matters.

Please ask for support, it is not embarrassing, it's actually empowering. The world needs leaders who are brave right now. I personally witness several colleagues who are a certain "way" on social media but a disaster in real life, running from their own messes, not untangling them but letting them roll up like the christmas lights in national lampoons christmas vacation. They are a living story of drama and toxicity because they allow it all. You wouldn't know it on social media but you certainly know it when you see them dragging an invisible anchor with messes following them like a shadow because they are too afraid to ask for help, advice or consulting because of ego or pride. They are the heavy ones, dear friends. Be the light one. Get over yourself and get out of your own way.

I’ve been blessed that I have an army of people texting me daily because I recently lost my love and life partner. Here we all are, quarantined with our loved ones, while mine remains encased in a photographed memory. I talk to him daily, I kiss the photos and say good morning and good night to him. He traveled to the heavens and I honor him. God needed him just before this virus hit, that’s for sure.

I am encouraging everyone out there to ask for help, big or small. Talk it out. Speak your truth. Be vulnerable. Be authentic and don’t be afraid to step into your courage beyond your fear to say, “I do need a little assistance”, because after all, when you do that, you’re teaching the world around you to do it too. Leadership isn’t about YOU. It’s about your influence and how it can radiate. It’s about how you show up in the world sharing your highest self allowing others to perhaps want to emulate your courage and strength because you see, the weak are the ones who hide. The weak are the ones who tell people, “Oh you'll be ok... just be normal.” NO. WRONG. We are not ok if we don’t speak up. We are not ok if we don't ask for help.

Any leader that is having doubts, fears, insecurities, woes, challenges, grief, pain, loss, obstacles or sadness right now, please reach out to me. I have lowered all of my coaching rates to coach, consult and advise everyone on their journey because I too have become my own client re-teaching myself my own body of work- and isn’t it beautifully humbling when we are all one, in the same.

Love, the strong leader, that is not afraid to fall, and who loves teaching you how to get back up and rise.

Elizabeth Barry

The Kind Communicator, Chief Kindness Officer

#vulnerabilitybadass

Learning how to speak and act in new ways as an adult can be aspirational, yet challenging. Elizabeth Barry is an inspirational speaker that helps career driven professionals develop a kinder demeanor, especially when faced with stress. Her methodologies are practical and her zest for life is contagious. Gain self belief and become an influence to everyone around you, including yourself. The courage that lives behind your fear is the bravery you never knew you had- until it arrives. Challenge habits, create boundaries, and nurture relationships as you learn to surrender to what is… and become who you wish to be. www.thekindcommunicator.com